I’m up late tonight re-writing my boss’s translation of a drug company’s corporate report, and I’ve come across one of the dumbest-sounding names for a medication: Peon Tablets. According to my information, it’s a “non-steroid type painkiller/anti-phlogistic agent”, which I think means that it prevents you from catching fire. I’ll have to check that at work tomorrow.
Anyway, the name ‘Peon Tablets’ just conjures up some odd imagery (put them in the office coffeemaker to keep your employees working contentedly?), so of course I had to ask my fellow Dopers:
If you had a bottle marked ‘Peon Tablets’, what would you expect them to do?
Btw, the same company also makes products named Lovetoppy and Healthan Guts. I swear I had nothing to do with either of these.
I’d probably use them as filler in a shipping…noooo, on second thought, probably not(too many chances for misunderstanding). I’d bet that’s all they’re good for though.
After a moments thought, you could make a good cocktail with Peon, Lovetoppy and Healthan Guts (which kind of sounds like a hyped up name for a breakfast cereal).
:helpless with laughter!!:
** Sublight **, you have brightened my day. Are those names real?? And I thought ** Flonase ** was bad.
Peon tablets don’t keep the old peons happy, they make new ones! Just add water. The easiest way to do this is to put a couple of tables (not too many!) in the bathtub, and turn on the tap. In just a few moments they have transformed into peons, ready to do your bidding!
I can’t work out ** Healthan Guts ** though. I keep thinking its
Heathen Gluts. Which doesn’t actually make any * less * sense…
Kn(Hissssssss - oops, time for my ** Reptilase ** !)ckers
Sublight: The Japanese do have a way with names, do they not? Tell me, have you ever sampled Pocari Sweat? If I ever make it to Nihon, tasting that oddly-named nectar will certainly be on my list.
Peon Tablets sound like soma to me, as well. I suppose they make flame-retardant servants who don’t feel much pain.
Yep, they’re all real. And I’ve got to make this company look competent to overseas investors somehow.
Derleth, Pocari Sweat’s not bad, actually. It’s a Gatorade (and if you want weird names, how about that one?)-type grapefruit-flavored drink that tastes kind of like non-carbonated Fresca. The all-time champion bad name, however, has to go to Creap coffee creamer.
Before I moved to Japan, there was a commercial running for the product to use when you had an itch in “a place so personal you can only talk about it with your doctor.” The ad made a big deal about not mentioning the part of the body. For crying out loud, don’t play delicate and tasteful: the name of the product was ANUSol!
But, yes, Japan does beat us Americans hands down in product names: the aforementioned Pocari Sweat, the legendary Creap (artificial creamer for coffee), Asse and Chocolate Collon candies, and the Toyota Emena (say it three times fast if you don’t see the problem). And that’s just off the top of my head. The mascots are as good as the names, though. Check out the cosmetic surgery ads (clipped from a Community Shopper-type mailer called “Famiry”) at http://www.peterrivard.com/Pages/badv.html
