Several months ago a couple moved in the the apartment across from me. They seemed nice, I got on well with them. On a handful of occassions my boyfriend and I went out for dinner and drinks with them.
It turns out that things were not so good in their relationship and one evening they had a knock down, drag out fight that resulted in police being called, threats, her being thrown out of the apartment, and moving into a friends place. Now this friend of hers has a son. Her and the son, it turns out had a little something going on on the side for a short time before she left her husbands place. She never told the husband. This is information that I was not aware of as her affair was pretty heavily flaunted around the people she knows.
In the meantime, I moved in with my boyfriend who lives in the apartment under theirs. The husband is still living there. I’ve run into the wife a few times and even had drinks with her and her boyfriend on one occassion.
Last night as I was leaving to go meet some friends for dinner I ran into him as he was leaving. We have the following conversation:
Him: “Hey, how have you been?”
Me: “Good and yourself?”
Him: “Things are great. Wife and I are working things out and she is moving back in.”
Me: “That’s wonderful. Where is she living at now?”
Him: “With Friend and her son.”
Me: “So she has broken things off with Son. He was a bit of an ass in my opinion.”
Him: “You’re right about that. He is an ass.”
I go on my way. About 10 minutes later my phone rings and it’s the wife. She’s in hysterics asking me about my conversation with the husband. She said that I’d told him about the affair and he no longer wants to speak to her, they are finished. She wanted me to call him and straighten things out. So I called him and left a voicemail that basically said that I didn’t want to get in the middle of anything but I think he was overreacting the things and the best thing for him to do is sit down with his wife and work things out with her.
So, I feel horrible. I didn’t know that he wasn’t aware she was seeing this guy. She was so blatant about it. I really don’t want to get in the middle of this.
I guess the moral of the story is I need to learn to keep my big mouth shut.
It’s not like you intentionally told him to get her into trouble. If she wants to have an affair, that’s one thing, but she has no right to ask the rest of the world to help her deceive her husband. If she doesn’t want this stuff to get back to him, she needs to learn a bit more discretion, at least.
I’ll bet she subconsciously wanted him to know, and now she can blame you for “ruining her life”, instead of taking responsibility for her actions.
If she was obvious about it, he was bound to find out sooner or later. And if they were discussing getting back together, he certainly had a right to know about it.
Better that it come out beforehand, rather than after they moved in together again. If it had come out then, it would have been even worse.
The issues these two had with each other are what wrecked their home, not you.
You cannot hold yourself responsible for letting the cat out of a bag it never should have been in.
It sure isn’t your responsibility either way, to either help keep secrets or vigilantly patrol for secrets that must be revealed. You shouldn’t have to worry one way or the other what they do or do not know about who sleeps with whom and who else does or does not know about it.
Pity about them breaking up, though, it sounds like they deserve each other.
Thanks for the replies. I do feel much better. I agree that she is behaving like a tramp, my first thought after speaking with her last night was, “You did it…own it.” But again, I don’t want to be involved in a situation that is quickly deteriorating into a Jerry Springer episode.
I realized shortly after hitting the submit button I should have clarified that the son she was sleeping with is a consenting adult.
lol… apparently that’s slang that lives only in my little mind. Isn’t “getting your hat knocked off” a euphamism for getting laid? I swear I’ve heard it before, but I can’t find a single example on the internets. Maybe I dreamed the whole thing up, which would concern me more than a little. :eek:
annanate, don’t feel bad at all. The old saying is true: Cheaters Never Prosper. If anything, you are helping the husband to keep himself clean of the diseases of the friend’s son and vice versa. That the wife loses her choice of dicks for her daily romps is her own fault; you don’t even owe her the price of C-cell replacement batteries.
