I know, I know. It’s horrible. And, I believe, against the law.
As far as being an accomplice, my role is pretty much not being a whistle-blower. For instance, I was talking to his wife and she made the remark "Yeah, (name) passed out in his truck until about 3am after going to the Pub last night before coming home. (I was there, it was just he, her and me.) Right. . . More like they were . . . who knows.
Also, the other night, he called and said “I need a ‘no questions asked’ favor. If anybody from my house calls you, don’t answer. And if anybody asks, I was playing Metal of Honor II at your house.” Great. Nobody called and I haven’t had to lie. Yet.
This is a really good friend of mine but I’m fond of his wife too. And they have a 6 year old daughter :rolleyes:
Am I doing the right thing? I shouldn’t tell the wife, should I?
On preview, my friend is coming across as real scum.
He’s not much of a friend - he’s asking you to lie so that when he’s found out (and he will be) so are you and his wife will hate your guts.
Tell him to knock it off. Be quite forceful. Tell him not to include you in his lies. Get quite worked up. Point out that he has a child who doesn’t need this shit from her father - he has responsibilities. Get really pissed off.
This will be handy later on when you have to dump the jackass.
I’m thinking he’s coming across like real scum because he is real scum. I don’t know what I’d do, but I wouldn’t lie for him. I would probably tell his wife, but that’s a personal line for you, I guess…
Do NOT tell his wife. You’ll make two enemies. It’s not your place - husband could straighten up and fly right and never tell her. She could already know and for her own reasons not let on. Your job for the moment is to remind this guy that he is married and has a kid. He already knows what is the right thing to do, tell him to get on with doing it.
I’d have a come-to-Jesus meeting with your buddy and tell him to straighten up or you’ll tell his wife. And then I’d pray that he straightens up, because it would have been a bluff; I wouldn’t be willing to tell his wife.
You’d only hurt everyone, especially the daughter. If it were me, the two choices would be to kick his ass straight or to lose him as a friend.
you’re not a bastard…but you don’t want to turn into an assistant bastard.
I’m sympathetic to don’t ask’s advice above but I also see how it might be difficult for you to yell at an old friend. If you cant follow dont’s advice at least tell your buddy in a calm non-confrontational manner that you just can’t get mixed up with this shit and that you will not lie to anyone, though you won’t volunteer any info either. He is not to use you as an alibi. If anyone calls you will just say, “I have no idea where he is.”
You aren’t a bastard, but you are making the baby jesus cry. Try talking it out with your buddie, who doesn’t seem to be much of one, and see if that patches things up. If it doesn’t, haul ass.
I want to echo what everybody else said. Don’t get involved. That means… 1) Tell your friend that you will not rat him out, and 2) That you also will not lie for him, and should not be expected to.
Hm, it sounds like both of you are heading for the rocks. Him with his family, and you with your friend.
Straight up tell him that you are not going to cover his ass. You have your own to cover. Also, tell him that the shit is just bad, really bad, and he should really think twice about what he is doing. That being the case, it will distance you from the problem, and lighten your laod.
I can see how I led you to think this but really I think no matter how worked up you get yelling has no place in a discussion. I was just emphasising that you may as well start disliking the guy now and beat the rush, it will make the hard decisions later easier.
I have had the prayer meeting with him. Something along the lines of “Dude, you’re an idiot. Not only are you going to be convicted of statutory, you’re going to loose your family. Don’t be an idiot.” To which he replies, “Oh yeah, I’m done with that.” Rinse and repeat.
If it were one of my friends I would let them know - 1) I would not lie for them for any reason in any way what-so-ever and 2) let them know what a low life they are then I would let my so called friend know he/she had x number of days to end the affair
( and that is what is happening here, an affair ) and confess all to his/her spouse or I would be contacting them myself.
His wife has the right to know what a slime bucket he is being, she is making decisions everyday to stay with this creep and probably have sex with him based on the mistaken belief that he is faithful, that is not right. Why should he and the girl he is seeing be the only ones with the true facts ?
What if he picks up something nasty from the little girl he is chipping around with and gives it to wifey ?
Then there is the very real possibility she will find out what is happening and the fact that you knew and did not tell her. If she considers you a friend now she won’t after.
Then there is the young girl he is seeing to consider, she probably believes slimey loves her and will be leaving his wife any day now. Who is going to be there for her when this is over ? And what about his child ? What if his wife finds out and divorces him, which he would richly deserve IMHO, the childs life is turned upside down because daddy is a selfish jerk, or what if he decides to take off with the girl he is seeing , same results for the child. This kind of crap brings a world of hurt to everyone involved, I have never seen an affair that didn’t .
Can you tell that I have strong feelings about these things?
Whewww! It sounds like a story that I wouldn’t want to be invloved in. She probably will find out and the bottom will fall out cause she is gonna feel like a fool … Get out while you can B_Diddy!
Personally, I think this is a bad idea, and gutless as well. If you’re going to finish fucking up the relationship, you might as well do it in person. How you you like to receive an anonymous letter full of bad news?
"Dear presidebt, you have infected with an incurable disease,
Warmest Regards, on the rest of your miserable life.
Aight, got it figured out. This guy ought to fess up to his wife and take the hand he is delt. She is gonna find out anyway and if I was lied to I would prefer the liar told me rather than a by-stander.
