Works the same way for men, believe it or not. I was the “fat and handsome” guy to several friends of mine who weren’t handsome, but had good physiques, and they had way better luck growing up than I ever did.
It all evened out in our late 20s when they chubbed up, and I didn’t gain any extra weight though…
I don’t get what the fuss is all about. Honestly, I have a difficult time saying anyone is “ugly.” I may not be attracted to somebody, but that doesn’t mean I think they are ugly.
Also, guys do talk a lot about women’s looks. We talk about what we like and what we don’t. Sometimes, it may come off a little crass. But there’s two parts to every message. If what your hearing offends you, it’s probably not so much what was said, but the fact that you think it’s true.
So, OP, I very highly doubt you are in any way “ugly.” If you would realize that, then whatever your peers had to say would sting a whole lot less. Growing up takes time though.
Speaking as someone who considers herself unattractive(but not quite “ugly”):
Words can and do affect self-image, whether you’re grown up or not. If you hear the same thing enough times, from enough different people, eventually you start to assume they must be right.
I got a phone call from a customer, once. He started to describe the person who had helped him the day before, not realizing it was me. He called me “that homely-looking chunky girl”.
I think that’s different, given the (still) different gender expectations. Women used to get labeled as bitches for what would be regarded in a man as normal assertiveness. So women quite sensibly grabbed the term and took pride in it, just as gays had reclaimed ‘queer’ and made it a positive.
I agree. You can’t count on others to do it for you though. I use affirmations. I constantly remind myself of how awesome, good-looking, strong and smart I am. If someone calls me stupid or ugly I just laugh and tell them “no actually I’m not.”
You sound remarkably like me in every sense, except having friends. I don’t, but that’s my choice.
Try the personals. That’s where I met my husband. I saw his profile, with his lightsaber Photoshopped in, and knew he was the one. He thinks I’m gorgeous. And I think he’s gorgeous, even if he’s packing extra weight and has a boyish face. If these guys only want the typical look, then they’re not worth it. They have the problem, not you.
You probably are a lot more attractive than you believe. I’ve seen a lot of “I’m hideous” threads and the girl usually is actually pretty or (at least) cute. Play up that. Don’t go for the cold, inhumanly beautiful look.
Seriously, love your tiny breasts. No backaches, no bra pain, they stay perky and generally, they’re sit better on the chest.
As far as your face goes, well, there’s always the ol’ cosmetics route. I don’t know any women who look fabulous without at least a little powder or something. Unlike surgery, if you use them right, you’re just bringing out what you already have.
Really, though, it sounds like you’re in a bad social situation. I know this is an old thread, but I thought I’d throw in, in case you are subscribed.
In my belief it is more important to be a good person, beautiful on the inside.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if people judge some one by their looks alone, it is what they are missing., not you. Just look at the celebrities, and see the problems they have, their beautiful faces didn’t bring them happiness. So many marry many times, and use drugs to get along.
we tend to put too much emphasis on looks, There a re a lot of people who are known by their looks and it doesn’t keep them out of Jail or bring them Happiness.
If you know in your heart you are a good person , then what your face or figure is like you are a beautiful person. Don’t go by the others idea of what you are or not. I taught my children that they shouldn’t let others define them, If they are good people then they are beautiful.
So do you want to be one of the 99.9% or do you want to set you sights higher?
Men have the same difficulties for diffferent issues. If you want to set your sights higher than what is less than mediocrity feel free to contact me. You are never going to change the 99.9%. You could choose to be with a higher consciousness individual. They are more difficult to find than the 99.9%. Of course that makes sense doesn’t it. If you wish to do that feel free to contact me. Again men have the same difficulties for different issues. If you want to escape lowest rungs of the spiritual ladder both the men an women involved have to be above it.
