Welcome, Jack! I have lots of answers. Perhaps on some happy day one of my answers will work for one of your questions!!
In fact, I feel an answer coming on right now: cheese cubes and a brown fedora.
Does that match up with any of your queries??
Yes I had one: What is the hipster alternative to a Green Bay Packer’s cheesehead?
And your answer is perfect!
Suggestion: I think “JAQ” has a nice ring to it, short yet distinctive-you might want to ask for a handle change, if you are so inclined…
It would certainly be easier to type when I log in! I hadn’t considered that aspect of a long handle.
Well, this is the 'Dope…and we do like to have definitive answers. So maybe try out a few threads and see what happens. 
Welcome JAQ.
Though it should be pointed out that you are libeling JAQ-offs by labeling them as conspiracy nuts. Many such folk do the JAQ-off thing to advance their agendas in all sorts of politico-socio-pseudoscientific areas while pretending to be seeking knowledge. I’d estimate that no more than 37.7% are actual conspiracy nuts.
I Am Not A Troll would also be a great handle.
Welcome Jack! Nice to have you here! I had a cat named Jack once, gorgeous tuxedo. He liked to hump the other cats. Constantly. He went to another home pretty quick. ahem Sorry, that wasn’t really on topic was it? Um… coffee?
NanoThermite?
Nice suggestion. If I ever decide to change my name, I’m going to go with DNFTT.
I know. But it’s kinda obscure and you probably wouldn’t get it. 
You seem like a very sensible person, Jack. Welcome back!
And as for having a thin skin, well, perhaps this board can help with that too. I have a bit of a problem with that, but perhaps these problems can be overcome in time.
I never meant to imply that I knew The Truth about the WTC, just the truth. While I was watching it live, I was saying “those fires are going to bring it down”, but I admit I did not expect the pancaking. I thought the area above the fires would have structural failure, bend or otherwise crumble and fall off, leaving the rest of the buildings more or less standing. I don’t have enough experience with large buildings, I guess.
And Fuzzy PickleSniffer is a great handle! I’m surprised I never noticed it before.
Whoa there, you can’t just declare yourself in the Club! You haven’t been jumped in yet!
Yeah. You haven’t been introduced to the goat, yet.
Bend over, grab your ankles and prepare yourself for the initiation. All hail the squid! 
:eek:
cool:
I have every confidence that this is going to end well.
Past performance is not an indication of future results.
They’ve been here an entire month! You ought to be ashamed! :mad:
Hi JAQ!
(I just hi jaq’ed the thread. Hurr hurrr)
Yeah, but do you know about alternate uses for ladles and toothpaste?
But I’m sure our OP understands that Barack Obama is a half-human half-alien born on Mars, right?
Ladles, yes. Poor Autolycus! His memory lives on. But would he have wanted it for that?
Toothpaste, no. Or if I read it, I forgot. Or blanked it out. Maybe it’s better that way…