i broke up with my girlfriend...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

ok. Day 2. made it so far. just a twinge of pain over the night. i spoke to Heather last nite, she called me. we discussed our feelings some more, she’s hurting as well, she feels lonely she says, but when we were together she was pushing me away anyway :confused:
i wish i could make her more comfortable, it hurts to see her go through this, but i know it’s best for her. i’ve been trying to let it go and just go on about my daily self, but i just can’t get the thought of her out of my mind. i’m so glad work is slow now 'cause i wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything other than the great memories of when we were together.
i like to think of the times we would just cuddle on the couch in my den with just the candles lit and i would rub her shoulders and back while she told me about her day. i liked it when we got into a tickle fight on her roommates bed. i still think it was funny when her roommate walked in on us having sex in the middle of the apartment, i felt so embarrassed for her roommate, and i was just standing there naked smiling. then, after i think of the good things, i start to hurt again. that little scraper in my chest starts giving and i feel like just going to sleep to forget it all.
is that normal? we had so many of the same friends in common, i feel like they might all be uncomfortable with this as well. i hate having others be uncomfortable, i only want everyone to be happy.

incidentally, i don’t think i’ll be going to california, or alaska, i’ve decided to take a trip solo out west somewhere and just hit the rocks. rock climbing and capoeira have always been my way of releasing my soul into the wild, so i’ll be hitting the rocks out there somewhere. it’s hard to keep it all in. Palmyra, (nice name by the way), i think i have to keep it in, it’s not right for me to let it go, why should i let it go when she still suffers some? when i know she is on her way to healing i think i’ll be able to let it go. i’m trying hard to not let all this get too confusing either.
thanx again guys. coming back here to read your responses helps to fill up some of the gaps i’m feeling. is that acceptable as well? still so many things that need to be worked out…
thanx. :slight_smile:

22

I thought I’d try another approach for a chance with a woman. So a couple months back when she was talking about pushing me away, I simply put my hand in front of her & said ‘that’s great!’ & shook her hand. Her jaw dropped. It was lovely. For some reason, after that, she didn’t try it anymore. :slight_smile:

23

Soulsling, I don’t think I could anything that hasn’t already been said, but know that you’re being thought of, and I’ll lift you up in my prayers. Email me if you want to talk further, I’m here for you.

{{{{{{{{soulsling}}}}}}}}

24

thanx Purple.
Handy, …
i just don’t know what to say. but you made me smile. i really wish you could meet a good woman Handy. It’s nice to be with a GOOD woman, one that respects you and doesn’t push you away, as well as respects herself.

on to nite 3, maybe i’ll get some sleep tonite.

25

I’ve met many a GOOD woman; but a GOOD woman who wants a GOOD man, is another thing…

I still make them wait three months before having sex…as those pesky viruses have a three month incubation period. If they can last that long anyway, that would be a miracle :slight_smile:

26

soulsling, i am really sorry to hear about your breakup- but I can honestly say that I sympathize/empathize with you. I’m not really sure which at the moment though. I just broke up with my boyfriend of a year about 2.5 weeks ago. it’ll be 3 weeks saturday–that’s how sad I still am. I know exactly how many days it has been. Like you, we were supposed to be going out that weekend, but I just felt like it was the right time to talk. So instead of taking a road trip this summer… i dunno. For us it just didn’t seem like the right time in either of our lives for us to be together. I know he still wants me, and I definitely still want him. But i know that now is not the time for “us” to be “us”. anyway- i know you probobly don’t care about my breakup too terribly much- just wanted to let you know that it has lessened over the past two weeks. there’s hope. it’s been 13 days since I cried myself to sleep thinking about him. it still hurts, but its getting better. and i know it will keep getting better. the same goes for you. i know it sucks now, but just give it some time. i hope your heart feels better soon.
love always,
tipi

27

nonsense tipi, i care. i’m getting through this pretty well i think actually. i’m more taken by all this kindness and support then my own situation. I’ve always been more of the caregiver then reciever, so no sweat. Feel free to let it all out girl. this is the place to do it. :slight_smile:
I’m going to see her today actually, and were on good terms and all, i just miss having her to hold and share intimate moments with right now. :frowning: but like everone does keep saying. time will heal. :slight_smile:

28

Soulsling, I really feel for you. I too just got out of a relationship, and I feel your pain, believe me. Personally, I was in a situation where I was the weaker person in the relationship, the person who needed a SO as a crutch, and now I’m dealing with the emptiness that she has left behind, and am constantly under a barrage of old good memories flowing back. For the longest time before I ended the relationship, I wanted out so bad because I knew we weren’t meant for each other, and even though I’m the one who ended it, it still hurts so bad to feel this lonely. It doesn’t help much that she seems to be completely over it (from my outside perspective), but I keep trying to tell myself that maybe she’s just dealing with it in a different way than me. Since I was so wrapped up in our relationship and kind of a loner anyway, I don’t really have any other friends to hang out with to dull the pain, while she is constantly busy and surrounded by others, which makes me feel like it took her only about 1 second to move on. I just want to tell you that I can relate to you. Even though I know it wouldn’t have ever worked out with this girl for so many reasons, I still feel like I love her and I want her back, but that probably just goes back to the fact that I’m not fully happy within myself as an individual yet. You are to be commended for being happy within yourself, because that is something that myself and many others struggle with, and it just makes things like this that much harder.

Like you, the one thing that keeps me going is knowing that it will get better. I guess you could take some comfort in the fact that you’re still able to interact with her, but I don’t know if that’s good or bad. I’m thinking that maybe it’s easier to get over a person when you don’t see them all the time, but I’m not sure.

Like you, I am also a sensitive male, and rarely cry, but the morning after our relationship ended, I started crying as soon as I woke up just because I felt so lonely and I knew that so much was going to change. I was always raised to believe that crying shows weakness, but we need to realize that it really is okay to let our emotions out sometimes. Personally, I wish I had the ability to cry more often, because I feel so much emotion bottled up that I long for some type of release, but my upbringing just doesn’t let it happen.

Anyway, I wish you luck, and I wanted to let you know that your posts and the posts of others have helped me in my situation. I know that I can never have a healthy and productive relationship until I get happy with myself first, so how do I do that? And how to I know that I’ve achieved that? (By the way, I’m not trying to hijack this thread, just wondering if anybody has any advice for another broken soul)