Today is our third anniversary. We’ve been living together for a year and a half. Yesterday she told me she isn’t in love with me anymore.
Back to being alone. Trying to find another place to live and then coming home to it every day with no-one there. No warmth, no closeness, no affection. All gone.
I couldn’t even imagine this happening, but it did.
This is going to sound like a teenaged brat shouting at the emptiness of existence, but I’m never having another relationship again. They’re not worth the effort and a pointless waste of time. Right now, it feels like that description fits breathing too.
This is definitely time to crack open a bottle of (something considerably stronger than Coke) and get lots of warm cuddles and words of soothing advice from your mates here on the Dope Priceguy. We’re here with some warmth, closeness and affection…even if it is only with our words.
Breaking up sucks big time. If you’re a normal, decent human being, it hurts…bad. And when it happens, it feels like the pain is never going to go away.
I’m not going to tell you that you will get better, because there are no guarantees. Mostly we do get over broken hearts, but sometimes the scars remain forever.
But I hope that one day, soon, you will wake up and not feel bad. And greet the morning with a smile instead of sadness.
Good luck mate…and I wish you lots of cyber cuddles to make you feel better.
I’m so sorry, Priceguy. Having your heart smashed like that hurts like a sonofabitch. It sucks, too. What sucks even more is that nothing but the passage of time will really help.
But we’re all here to offer what support and comfort we can.
Been there, done that, got wayyyy too many t-shirts. I know what you are going through. I hurt so badly after the last one that I was sitting with a loaded, cocked .38 getting ready to eat the barrel. I still don’t know why I didn’t.
But I’m glad that I didn’t because I never would have met SWMBO. She and I will have been together 12 years in April. My purpose in sharing this with you is to try to give you hope, amigo. Don’t give up.
I’m so sorry to hear what’s happened. But please don’t close yourself off to the possibilty of ever having another relationship. When you meet ‘the one’ it will be worth it. I’m speaking from experience on this one.
I’m sorry, Priceguy. I hope the hurt fades quickly. I hope you will take a chance on love again, because when it works, it’s fantastic. No feeling like it. But sometimes you get hurt a lot before you find the one that works.
Heh, and that’s the kicker, isn’t it? And the crazy thing is, you never know you’re wrong until you are.
The way I try to look at things like this is thusly:
Were the times good, and will I look back at them as times well spent? If so, then I won’t regret the relationship, and I won’t shy away from others, because all good things do come to an end in one way or another, and I’d rather have those good things for a time than avoid them completely. Was the last three years a pointless waste of time? Sounds not, if you’re missing it so much.
This, of course, is an attidude that takes practice, and also benefits from some distance of a few days or weeks depending.
So sorry this happened to you. Never again is what we all say when this kind of shit happens. I can only hope that as time heals your wounds that idea will fade and when the right someone comes along your heart will open again.
I wish you peace and a speedy recovery from your heartache.
I was just dumped as well. After about 3 years, and recently moving in together. You are both welcome to send me an e-mail (in profile), and I will be happy to wallow around in it with you. I will say that so far I haven’t cried today, and if I make it, this will be the first day in a week or so that that’s happened. Wishing us all lots of luck…And lots of beer. Definitely, lots of beer.
That’s just about the same time that my ex-wife dropped the bomb on me, too. The next few months were not good ones. Then things got better. Then they got even better.
Then I met Mrs. Kunilou and we’ll be married 25 years this year.
My sympathies. Give yourself some time, allow yourself to be sad and depressed and say “NEVER AGAIN”!! as much as you need to. After awhile let yourself start enjoying little things again. It really will get better, and most of us who’ve been there can attest to that. Don’t rush things but don’t completely close yourself off either. Hope your next experience with love is wonderful and lasts 50 years!
Maybe go to a shelter for a dog or cat. Unconditional love and acceptance in the meantime…also good for the exercise of walking him/her!
Johnny L. A. – I thought you were getting married. Is that what the Friday thread was about? Is that not going to happen now? If that’s the case, I’m sorry.
Well, I’ve bounced back. I spent a night away from home and about 36 hours of interrupted drunkenness before I went back to have a Talk. I was angry and disappointed, she was weepy and insecure and said she didn’t think she could live without me. I basically told her to get her shit straight very quickly, because there’s no way I’ll keep living with her while she tries to figure out if she wants a relationship or not. Fuck that.
Going out drinking tonight again. Haven’t decided if I’ll sleep at home or at a friend’s place yet.
Hey PriceGuy, bad luck. My advise is this… If she about-faces and tells you it was a mistake, and to forget about the whole episode, please, please, please make sure you have a good talk about what went on, how each of you felt (real feelings, not just excuses to not talk about it), and what you can change to improve the situation.
I have a friend whose SO would do this regularily. Claim no love, announce he was leaving, and then take it back. They’d pretend it never happened, go back to life as normal, then it would happen again. If you don’t understand the root causes, it will happen again.
Best of luck, and know that we’re all hoping for the best.
