I can't cry

…and I need to, want to so desperately.

I’m depressed. I’ve lived my whole life this way but lately…I just need release and I can’t get it in any shape or form.

I read the whole ‘saddest songs ever thread’ … not a tear.

Yeah, on antidepressants and I’m sure that’s part of it but, hell, do I need to go off of them to FEEL something?

No, I don’t have a therapist…don’t have the insurance or the money. I do have a doc and I’m on my 4th antidepressant in a year.

What more do I have to do???

This may seem strange but if you go to the freezer and find an ice cube then squeeze it in one hand as hard and for as long as you can you may just find a similar release to a crying jag in your brain. It hurts like holy hell, that’s the secret to it. It doesn’t do any lasting harm.
Squats can work too but they may make tomorrow painful though in the long term they will do more for your butt.

I’m so sorry for your pain. To be depressed while on anti-depressants must be very tough. Just a quick question, which I will then dismiss. Did you listen to some of the songs in “The Saddest Songs” thread? Feeling, for me, is very often about experiencing.

That said, I often don’t cry about sad things. I am much more likely to cry about things that I think are beautiful. It could be anything - the daffodils and hyacinths that are coming up now after such a hard winter, the look of the sky, etc. I sometimes will watch a movie just to be in the experience of the beauty I find in it.

I do think that it has become easier for me to make these connections as I have gotten older, so if you’re fairly young there might be that. So my perhaps trivial advice is to seek beauty, in whatever ways it appears for you. And please keep sharing. It helps to have it be outside you in whatever small way you can.

“Swing by First Methodist Tuesday nights. See the guys with testicular cancer.”

I don’t know the details of your depression so maybe this isn’t really an option for you, but have you tried laughing to the point of tears? Or along the lines of Thylacine’s post, intense exercise?

I’m so sorry you’re hurting, Peace Please. Moving this thread to IMHO, where we usually put threads for people who seek advice. Good luck.


I’m not a crier, and often feel someone elses pain much more deeply than my own.

Are you employed or otherwise occupied during the day? If not, volunteer. Helping someone less fortunate (and trust me, there is always someone less fortunate out there who could use your help) can often open up some emotional channels.

Me either. I think years of taking SSRI’s has damaged my mind. I feel terrible but yeah, not one tear!

I can’t cry either. Didn’t cry when my dad passed away, even though I loved him and I was profoundly sad. I didn’t cry at my daughter’s wedding, even though I love her and was overjoyed. I’m not depressed and not on any drugs. I think, for some people, crying is just not an option.

I post this to say, yes, check out the depression/drug link, but don’t be shocked (and don’t feel alone) if that is not the reason. I can’t tell you why I don’t cry. It’s weird, even to me. But it is how I am, and I’ve come to accept it.

My hope and prayer for you is that the plea in your user name be granted to you.

Become a Cub’s fan.

Thank you all for reading! Feeling better today and some of you made me laugh. Too bad I’m a chick or I’d check out the testicular cancer meetings! Also not a baseball fan!

If you want to cry without leaving your house, then try watching this:

The Moth Presents: Anthony Griffith

It’s the saddest story I’ve seen on the internet. I’m a dude who generally doesn’t cry because of human suffering, and I teared up a bit because of this story.

You are Cimmerian and cannot cry so I weep for you.

Aha! I’ve got it!

Watch that sequence from the movie Up. You know which one I mean…I’m tearing up already…
Seriously, I know how you feel. I’ve been there, and it really sucks. Sending good thoughts your way.

I watched your link and man that was powerful. I was definitely crying by the end. Thanks for sharing.

Back when I was on SSRIs I couldn’t muster one single tear. I could feel sadness, but it was nowhere as intense as it was without the SSRIs (intense meaning that I’d literally thrash and scream and cry all at once, depending on what it was that made me feel that way).

I remember going through something rather stormy at one point. I don’t remember exactly what it was, but knowing me, I would have been a screaming mess had I not been on SSRIs.

With the SSRI (I think I was on Zoloft at this point) I just sat there, numb and staring into space. I remember saying to my boyfriend at the time that I missed crying because even though I could empathize and feel sad, outwardly I looked like I didn’t care.

Of course the minute I went off them I became a walking mess of emotion. Years later it was discovered that “numbness” I felt while on them was NOT supposed to be what I was supposed to feel. It was the wrong med for me. The same thing might hold true for you.

Give me a pair of needle-nose pliers and access to your nostril hair.

You will cry.

Maybe try to get the tears flowing from a more positive standpoint. I know I’m more apt to swell up from heroism and things like that. Something that overwhelms me. The scene in Saving Private Ryan at the end, at the cemetery, was pretty powerful. I don’t know if this would have any effect on me today, but the first and one of the only books that got me going was one I read at about 10 or 12. Another was The Notebook. I lost a bet. I was prepared for roll-my-eyes sappiness. But I was very surprised.

Good luck.

Wow, yes, I was crying half way through and balled my eyes out for the rest of it. Heartbreaking.