…but the sad part is that it probably will get worse.
I’m 26, almost 27, and work as a fucking waiter. I have a degree in biomedical engineering from one of the top schools in the country, for fuck’s sake! They told me a degree from there would open doors for me the rest of my fucking life. They promised me a six-figure job before I was 30. They lied. They fucking lied straight to my face.
As if waiting tables wasn’t bad enough, I’m apparently not even any good at it. I make such a shitty amount of money that I’m forced to live with my God damn parents! I pay no rent, no utilities, barely anything for food, and yet I am still barely making ends meet with just the few bills I have.
Every fucking month there is a new problem with my car. I get one thing fixed, something else breaks. I get that fixed, five more things break. I keep sinking more and more money into this fucking lemon that I got fleeced with. I’d love to sell the piece of shit, but have you ever tried to sell a car that is a piece of crap? It’s hard to do! No one wants to buy a car that sounds like it has a huge hole in the exhaust (and probably does), has a steering wheel that is off-center, a check engine light that’s on, and four mismatched, cheap-ass tires!
I’m over 70 grand in debt from student loans and have nothing to show for it. I can’t get a job because my field practically requires a master’s, and I stand no chance at getting a master’s. I know, because I tried and failed miserably. Literally. I failed out of grad school because I was too damn stupid to understand the material.
I just don’t know what to do. Every fucking day it gets harder and harder to drag myself out of bed to go work I job I hate for not enough money. I was driving home tonight and more than once the thought occurred to me that I could just let go of the steering wheel and see what happens. At the very least I’d total my car and get a nice fat insurance check, right? When I finally did get home, I punched a telephone pole near my drive way half a dozen times. I don’t think I broke a knuckle, but it is pretty swollen.
And I’m sick to fucking death of people tell me “It’ll get better” or “thing will work out.” Well you know what? I’ve been hearing that for almost two god-damn years now and it HASN’T gotten better, things HAVEN’T worked out. They’ve gotten much worse, as a matter of fact.
I’m just at my wits end, and I’m out of options.