I can fully understand what you are feeling. Pretty much at the bottom of my barrel right now, too.
I am 49 years old, single, absolutely no family left alive. Very few friends. I have… well, I have my dogs.
I lost my job in May. It wasn’t a highly skilled job-I am a high school graduate, that’s it- but it was a job I loved and that paid well. I liked going to work every day. When the economy tanked, over 700 jobs were lost with my company across the nation.
I have diabetes and high blood pressure, and suffer fron clinical depression. I have no insurance now, so I can’t get my medication. I can’t afford the ‘healthy foods’ that could help keep my diabetes in control. My depression gets worse with each passing day. Some days the desire to die is almost overwhelming.
I don’t have parents or siblings to help me. If I stumble and fall, I either pick myself up or just lie there in the gutter. I am getting very, very tired of getting back up.
My van is 10 years old and I can’t even afford basic maintenance on it. I tried to sell plasma yesterday for a little money so I could get some food in the house, but after sitting there waiting for 3 hours, I was told because I have high blood pressure, they can’t use me.
I put anywhere from 5-12 applications in every week. I have not received a single call for an interview.
I make sure my dogs have their food first. I have had to start feeding a cheaper food recently, and that in itself is killing me. I am facing the very real possibility that I may have to give my babies, the only family I have, up.
So yeah… I know what it feels like to be at the end of your rope. You will be in my prayers.
I’m sorry that you’re having a hard time, papsett. I wish you well.
As for the OP- I don’t want to minimize your feelings, but really. You have more than most- a college degree, a roof over your head, nice generous parents, food, a job of some kind, and even more, the freedom to do anything you want. No wife, no kids, nothing to stop you from traveling the world, doing almost literally anything you want. You’re quite lucky, actually. Now pull yourself up, thank your lucky stars, and go get 'em, um, tiger! Heh. Really. Whenever someone gives you an idea of something you could do to be happy, don’t ever say, “I can’t”. You can.
PapSett - has WalMart’s $4 prescriptions program been any help? My Dad was convinced he couldn’t have his $600 Paxil (that’s what he told me it cost) until I did some searching and found that it’s on WalMart’s list.
Still don’t know where Dad got that $600.
I hope you’re getting some fresh air and exercise every day PapSett. ((((hugs)))) It really does help. Maybe try volunteering someplace, just to have somewhere to go? If you can swing the gas.
Last time I was in desperate straits, I cleaned offices for $4/hr in the evenings. Which wasn’t bad, except for the urinals. But I noticed that one of the buildings I cleaned seemed to be full of happy employees. And then I saw an ad in the paper for a job I was (marginally) qualified to do. Ended up working there for a couple of years - the time I spent in the building, vacuuming, turned out to be useful.
bouv, how far do you live from work? Is it possible to ditch the car and walk? If it’s three miles or less, or you could take public transit, I’d give it shot. Sometimes old cars are more trouble than they’re worth.
If waitering isn’t your thing, and it sounds like it isn’t, then look for another McJob while also looking for something more sustainable. Like stocking shelves at Cosco or pouring coffee at Starbucks. Something that doesn’t crush your soul so much. On your days off, between looking for jobs, try to volunteer somewhere where your face and intelligence will be noticed. Opportunity doors can be opened that way. Always be on your game; there’s always someone out there looking for a smart dependable worker.
I know you were looking at doing animal research work a while back, and it didn’t pan out. There are many researchers who are looking for full-time technicians with college degrees, but they aren’t all located in VT. I know a guy in FL who’s always looking for techies, because the work is hard and staff turnover is high. But it is science and it is an avenue. And it’s not soul crushing. Would you consider moving far from VT and starting a brand new life from scratch? That’s the question you have to ask yourself. If the answer is no, your life may improve, but it may take a lot longer than if you had taken some risks.
My heart is with you, if that’s any consolation. I don’t think your feelings are unreasonable; I think pretty much anyone would feel like you do if they were in your situation.
Were you horribly disfigured or burned in an accident?
Do you have an incurable disease?
Are you living on the street?
Do you suffer from some sort of drug or alchohol adiction?
Do you have a criminal record?
Are you living on the street?
I can actually imagine how your life can be a whole lot worse than being a 26 year old kid who is pissed off because the world didn’t hand him a Mercedes Benz with his diploma.
Let’s put it this way… I put in as many apps as I can. I go thru job searches every day, and if there’s a job that I can physically do and I am semi-qualified for, I apply. My area is very depressed and actually getting worse at this time. Believe me, I am doing all I can to find work.
Fessie- in order to get the prescriptions, it would involve a doctor’s visit. At $100… which I don’t have. I have recently got a number for a free/low-cost clinic and am going to try to get an appointment.
Another vote for join the military. With a college degree you can go to officer training school and be an officer.
Shoot, my son was offered a $35,000 signing bonus to go into the Navy as a enlisted nuclear engineering technician (that was several years ago but the point is the military needs smart technical people to run their equipment).
There are many areas in the military(think Air Force or Navy) that you can go into where you won’t be handed a rifle and told to go kill the bad guys-unless you want to.
I’ve never met even sven; couldn’t so much as pick her out of a line-up. But this? This is true. She posted here when she was in a blame-everyone-else-but-me rut, and when she was in an OK-blame-me-too rut, and it was… painful to read.
Now I can’t believe the change in her - and this isn’t the first time I’ve said so. But reading her thoughts and insights now, and knowing her postings from then… it’s a dramatic and highly admirable evolution. She rocks.
And I say all this to say…if she says she’s been there, you can trust the truth of that statement. Listen to her.
Bricker, Sec’y/Treasurer, Even Sven Fan Club Nova Chapter
OK, dude, I just went to the US government job listings and typed in Biomedical Engineering and got 344 job listings. Only one job on the first page was less than $40,000 per year. All over the US. Ya got options!
First job listed: Lead Biomedical Engineer, VA Hospital in Alabama. Only requires a degree in Biomedical Engineering (NOT masters)-Starting salary $67,613
People stop telling the OP it’s not that bad or he should be grateful for what he has. Yes, he’s better off than some, but it’s clear that he IS suffering. You may not think that suffering is justified, or he’s over-reacting, but his pain is real to him regardless of what you think of it, or if someone else is worse off.
That said, bouv - the world sucks right now, as does the economy.
If anyone promised you that a degree would guarantee a job then yes, they DID lie to you. No one can truly promise that.
Question is - are you going to let bitterness over that lie eat away at you, or are you going to succeed despite that setback?
Realize that many people, if not most, wind up doing something other than what they went to school for.
As for the six figure job before you’re 30 - you still have four more years to go before you’re 30. It could still happen. Granted, the odds are a bit long and it may feel like I’m saying “sure, you could win the lottery” but the game ain’t over yet.
OK, that’s not a fun place to be. At least you have parents that tolerate your residence with them. I realize that being dependent on them hurts as you are an adult and want to take care of yourself. Even if you’re grateful for their help, it’s still painful or even humiliating to be dependent at 26.
Me, my mother is dead and my father is living with my oldest surviving sister. My other living sister was homeless for four months this year, sleeping on friend’s couches and not even having a car, lost her job and both of her sons were in the hospital earlier this year, one of them with a brain injury. Recognize you have a safety net many of the rest of us don’t. Yes, it hurts to have to use it, but use it if you need it! ANY form of aid available to you, use it, m’kay?
Well, cash-for-clunkers is over, unfortunately - however, you have to improve your transportation. Don’t worry about the “mis-matched” tires as long as they hold air. Seriously, at this point a car is a tool, not a fashion statement. Either get that baby fixed proper and permanent or get rid of it. It’s a money sink that’s depleting your resources. If you can’t fix it and you can’t sell it then junk it. Get what little you can for it at a junker and get another vehicle. One that won’t let you done and won’t bleed you dry. As much as it hurts, even appeal to your family for help: “Hey, I need a reliable car that won’t keep bleeding me - can you help me get another one?”.
Or, if feasible, walk to work, ride a bike, or take public transportation.
I doubt you were stupid.
Look, it’s hard for anyone to get a job these days no matter what your education. Five years ago any college degree would get you a living wage, now there are PhD’s in the unemployment line. Most likely you have done nothing wrong - it really is THAT bad a job market. But just because the economy sucks you’re not allowed to give up.
Are you paying back those loans? Try not to default on them. You mentioned paying bills, is this one of them? At least try to keep up with that.
I understand. I really do. I went from $50,000 a year and platinum health insurance and all sorts of benefits to being underemployed working at manual labor that leaves me so exhausted some nights I haven’t the energy to cry over how miserable I am. In addition, I also have to take care of a disabled spouse, not just myself. Which isn’t to say I’m worse off than you - I’m probably not, from the sound of it, just that it really is hard for a lot of people these days. You aren’t alone. We are ALL frustrated that we can’t get decent work and a living wage.
OK, THAT’s a bad sign.
Dude, this isn’t what you want to do. I understand you feel like you’re in a hole. Fact is, you are in a hole, your perception of reality is accurate. I don’t recommend pulling the hole in on top of yourself, though. You gotta figure out how to climb out of the hole. That pain/discomfort/rage you’re feeling is the indication that there is something wrong with your life. It won’t go away until you start making improvements.
It only gets better if YOU work at making it better. Fact is, things have been sliding downhill for a lot of people these last couple years and unfortunately you’re one of us folks caught in the mudslide.
Well, thank goodness you’re asking other people for ideas.
Look, you’re still relatively young and a bit short on life experience. Some of us have been through rough times before, we’ve a bit more experience in these things. There ARE things you can do.
get better transportation.
keep looking for a job. Yes, it’s hard - I’ve been filling out apps for two years now myself
look into the military (they would love a college grad in any field of engineering), look into the Peace Corps, consider relocating, look for a government job, and so on.
if you are keeping up with whatever bills you have, pat yourself on the back. THAT’s a GOOD thing!
Do you have a hobby or something to do that relaxes you? If so, make sure to “indulge” at least once a week, or daily if it’s not time consuming. You need some positives in your life, even if they’re small ones.
when you feel at wit’s end TELL SOMEONE. You’ll probably get a dozen ideas you’ve tried, or that are unworkable, but the next one might be gold.
I’m posting from my phone so my apologies is advance for not addressing everyone personally and for typos.
First off, I’m not trying to compare my lot in life with anyone elses. I know compared to many I’m in good shape, but compared to myself I’m not.
As for the military, I’ve looked at that and it’s not as easy as walking in with a degree and being commisioned as an officer. It’s an application process that is more selective than a lot of grad schools, especially with a bad economy a lot of people are tring that option. I’ve looked at the officer careers available and of all the branches and careers there’s about 3 I’m interested in, al on the air force, which seems to be seei g the biggest upswing in applications. I
not sayi g I won’t try, but it will be another year before I can apply ( my interests are all in the medical officer field which does selections once a year in sep, so I’m too late for this year.)
I have no desire at all to join the peace corps or teach ESL in Asia or Europe. I’m sure it’s a great experience for a lot of people but it’s not up my alley.
I’ve been applyig to every sort of job I can. I look once a week at monster, careerbuilder, indeed, and sometimes usajobs (but trying to apply to federal jobs is the biggest exercise in frustration I’ve ever seen.) I look for biomedical engineering jobs, technician jobs, medical technologists, medical sales, anything I’m remotely (and in some cases not at all) qualified for. In the year and a half I’ve been looking I’ve applied to well over 200 jobs and gotten 4 follow ups, one only because my friend works for the company. One went past a phone interview to a face to face but it did t pan out after that.
I’d love to move out of this state. I love it here, but ts a dead zone for my field. Almost all of the jobs I apply to are out of state. I don’t have the money to just pack up and move somewhere better, I’d need to het a job there first, but a lot of job listings I see only want local candidates. A catch 22 of sorts.
Thanks for the advice and good words everyone. I’m not trying to dump on all of it, I’m just stating facts. I’m going to keep applying to everythig I can, but I just feel it’s pointless right now. And of course having a defeatist attitude about it won’t help, but I can’t magicaly mAke myself happier…
I know it sucks, as I have been there. I really can’t give you much advice, but I know it hurts dealing with the lowered expectations, the lack of independence and feeling like you are a failure as a person because you are not financially independent at an age and education level where you feel you should be. I’ve felt it too, the feeling of being trapped in a miserable spot, like you are behind everyone else your age, like the tools (education, work ethic) that were supposed to let you live with dignity and independence have failed so there must be something wrong with you for not having those things, etc.
Having said that, I have met people who are doing great financially who are still miserable. My old roommate from college, I met his parents recently. They are both specialist physicians, and probably make 300-500k a year combined. But they hate each other and you can tell they are both fairly miserable. The point is that, no matter where you are in life you are going to feel like a failure at least to some degree in some area of your life. If not financial, then it might be romantic, or personal, or social, or non-financially work related, or something else. Since no matter what, you’ll never be perfect and will always to some degree fail to live up to your own and other people’s expectations, the best thing you can do is try to accept that you are imperfect and make a commitment to not beat yourself up. Its hard to do, but it is probably the best thing you can do right now to help deal with the stress.
Look, if you’re in the ER getting your broken leg put in a cast, and there’s a guy next to you who had his legs sliced off in some machinery, sure he’s worse off than you, but you’re still in a bad way. It’s OK to recognize that. You’re not in the worst situation, but you ARE uncomfortable. That’s reality. The fact you recognize it means you’re sane.
You’re not happy. We understand that. Partly, you’re venting, and that’s OK. If you can’t complain to strangers on a message board where can you complain?
If you need to vent feel free to start a thread in the Pit to bitch about how awful things are. A lot of us have done it, and it can be quite therapeutic.
Good for you for having looked into this. Please, DO apply when the time comes around again if you still are looking for a job/career.
Fair enough.
I understand - applying for Federal stuff is a pain in the ass. Nonetheless, they’ve given me more work these past two years than the private sector (unfortunately, only temporary work but the money was welcome). Keep trying.
In two years I’ve only gotten three interviews. Kid, I still don’t think YOU’RE doing anything wrong. It’s just that the job market really does suck that bad.
On the upside - once hiring starts again you’ll likely never face a job market this bad again in your lifetime.
No, you can’t wave a wand and be happy. But you CAN start taking care of your physical and mental health. So you hate your job - been there, done that. Make sure you eat healthy, get enough sleep, and spend an hour a day doing something YOU like. Whatever that is. You NEED that “me time” to stay sane over a long-haul marathon like some of us are going through. Try to focus a little more on positives - I’m not saying deny you have problems, just pat yourself on the back for little things, because for sure no one else is likely to. Every bill you pay on time, every day you get where you need to be without a car breakdown… those are positives, those are things done right. Use to remind yourself you aren’t a screw up. You’re going through a rough spot in the road of life. They’re never fun, but you can survive them.
Do people really think it’s that easy to get a commission in the armed forces? You can’t just show up, you know.
If the “VT” in your location field means “Vermont” (I suppose it might also mean “Virginia Tech”), then I suggest moving. I don’t really imagine Montpelier or Burlington to be hotspots of the biomedical sector. I’d look at the NY/NJ/CT area, which although it’s certainly not booming like it was a couple years ago, does have a large pharmaceutical presence.
I might even move to NYC (or a cheaper inner-ring suburb like Hoboken) without even having a job lined up. You could temp, or even wait tables, there just as well as in “VT,” but you’d be situated in a more fecund geographical labor market for your field of interest.
That is good advice, and I forgot to mention the same thing in my post.
Make sure you are doing everything you can to keep yourself mentally healthy
Eat a high fiber, high protein breakfast each day (to stabalize blood sugar)
Take vitamins and minerals tied to mental health (selenium, magnesium, B vitamins, methyl donors, anti-oxidants, zinc, iron, adaptogens)
Get exercise at least 3x a week
Meditate once a day
Spend a few minutes a day being grateful for all the good things you did and have. It doesn’t mean you have to ignore the bad things though.
etc. You are going to need whatever resources you can to deal with all this stress.
Once the summer’s over there’s going to be a lot of relatively cheap housing on the NH seacoast, and it’s easy to commute to Boston from here, either by car or by train and the T.
Have you considered enlisting? Yes, the pay is much lower than an officer’s, but it doesn’t sound like it’s much less than what you’re making now. I’ve know several folks with degrees that enlisted, many for the very reasons you have. There’s also several job fields that are open only to enlisted, and it can be an excellent opportunity to get experience in a really cool job field, which, coupled with your degree, can give you very good prospects after a term of enlistment. As a matter of fact, if you get a job that gets you a top secret security clearance, that’s one of very best assests you can have in a job search.
And, if you really want that commission, it’s much easier to commission from within the military than without.
I think he’s better off trying his luck in New York or Boston before committing to making waiter wages for a few years (remember, you can’t quit just because the economy turns around!) as an enlistee with a college degree in engineering.
