I could be doing better in the sex dept... wait, let me rephrase that...

The BBQ Pit
1

The people whom I’m doing could do better in the sex dept.

Mods, if you think this is more MPSIMS, then move it. I’m just giving the opportunity for this to get vulgar if needed.
I feel like I’m writing the sexual portion of the Hammurabic code, but well, as applies to me [in random order]…
[ul]
[li]Ten minutes isn’t enough to get me off. If it was, I’d have a penis. And then you’d most likely lose interest in having sex with me. Then again, I could do ten minutes if it involved only myself… ::shuts off inner monologue::[/li][li]I don’t care if your dick is small or huge or average; learn how to use it properly[/li][li]Don’t try sticking anything in certain places unless there is sufficient moisture [side comment: it feels the same way that it would if I took some sand paper and started rubbing it against your penis.][/li][li]Yes, women do have errogenous zones, but not all of us have the same ones- find one and start there[/li][li]Yes, my breasts are fun to play with, but there’s more to me than that and my pussy.[/li][li]Don’t be a tease.[/li][li]I may not be like every other woman you’ve slept with. Don’t continue to do something I don’t like after I tell you not to just because other women like it.[/li][li]Foreplay is an important key to getting me off faster in the long run.[/li][li]Do you really have to #1: ram your tongue down my throat, #2: have your mouth so wide open that I’m guaranteed to have chapped lips within an hour, #3: kiss with so much force that I might have a sore mouth?[/li][li]If I end up being sore the next day, I would rather it be because I had a really good marathon sex session and not because you do what you think feels good after I specifically told you it didn’t.[/li][li]I like a little biting every now and then, but only in certain places. Also, why object to it when it really isn’t a big deal?[/li][li]Watch how you handle my clitoris. It’s a delicate thing that likes a lot of attention, not a joy buzzer.[side comment: my breasts aren’t joy buzzers either, but I do like having them played with.][/li][li]Don’t ask me if I’d like to have a threesome with you and my friend. Most of my friends aren’t going to do that, and I’m not exactly wanting to make a friendship weird because I want to get off in a new way.[/ul][/li]Would anyone like to add their own comments?

2

Well, since my experiences in the sex department are limited, I’ll just have to say this:

-I like touching. Don’t go running away screaming just because I enjoy touching parts of your face that aren’t very sexual (like your nose, eyebrows, or ears).

-Sometimes, the guy IS more concerned about you than himself.

3

Amen!!!

I’d like to add…

If you want anal sex-ASK FIRST! Do not just start knocking on the brown door!

And no " I want to fuck you up the ass" followed by immediate attempts at penetration does not count. Try being subtle about it.
If I give you a blowjob I will swallow-do not feel free to pull put and come on my face. Would you like semen in YOUR eyes? I don’t think so.

4

Please be so kind as to invite me across town and then as soon as I get to your place tell me that I’m not your type. If you are that picky you could have asked me for my photograph. It is indeed your own sex life, but there are considerate and inconsiderate ways to handle it, particularly when it involves me. Thank you.

5

Here is a gentleman’s perspective to add more fire to the fuel.

Guys,

Before you do anything ask yourself if you would like that done to you. If the answer is “No” don’t do it unless she requests it. If you don’t want three fingers shoved up your ass without lubrication, why do you think that she will?

Every person is different. They like different things. Different speeds. Different pressures. etc. Take the damn time to learn what each woman likes and wants.

Hi Opal.

Dammit, NO means fucking NO.

Also, “I don’t like that” means that she isn’t enjoying the expierience. Don’t think that she will change her mind. She won’t if you force the issue. Maybe later she will. But, she WILL let you know if she does.

Don’t expect sex to be like in porn films. That is fiction. The women are ACTING. Most women do not like cum in their eyes, hair, etc. Most do not only like blowjobs. Most do not want to have a threesome with their best friend. Most do not want to pull a train. Most do not like to be treated like a piece of meat.

Be slow. Take your time. I know that you want to do it “now” but if you don’t satisfy her, why should she ever go out with you again? You have waited all night, aren’t you man enough to wait another 30 minutes?

Be happy to go down on her. If you expect a blowjob, you better be ready to reciprocate. She will feel cheated if you never do it. (I always believed in the adage: “Show me a man that won’t go down on his wife and I’ll take her away from him.”)

On the practical side:

When you first lay down in the bed naked, slowly stroke her entire body lightly with your finger tips. When you hit errogenous zones, she will respond. Remember these places for future reference. You will find that every woman has different ones. Go back to these with your tongue, hair, other hand, toes, etc.

Always start lightly. As she gets more excited she will let you know to press harder, deeper, rougher, etc.

Always be sure to use lubrication. Ssskuggiii’s observation about sandpaper is a good one. Think about that fact that the vaginal opening is NOT protected by the thick skin we have on our penis. It has mucous membranes. It doesn’t take much to irritate them. Then nothing will feel good to her.

In the same vein, keep your nails trimed.

It isn’t a race. Try to let her come first. If she does, she can come again. She is not like men, where we have to wait awhile before we can go again. She can have more than one orgasm at a time. (And if she does, she will always be glad to see you.:D)

A real man get pleasure from his partner’s pleasure.

Don’t drink or drug much, it affects your judgement and your libito. If you are a bad lover without it, you are worse with it.

If you desire to get kinky, ask her what HER fantasies are. Then try to make them come true. Usually, she will start with mild ones. But, after you have fulfilled them and she starts to trust you, she will let you know other things she would like to do. If she doesn’t bring up doing you while your parakeet watches, don’t suggest it.

Communicate.

Show her how much you care for her. Sex is a sharing. At the least, a sharing of pleasure. At the best, a sharing of great emotions. Even a “one night stand” had something you cared about or you wouldn’t have bothered. Share these things.
I shouldn’t tell these to the guys. I have done so well with the women who have been treated like Ssskuggii becuase I do treat my lovers like I care. (I do.) I enjoy their pleasure. And because of this, they have always been sure to do their best to give me pleasure. What I have given, I have received ten fold. Maybe not immediatly, but eventualy.

6

Well speak up!!!, Goddammit.

When we’re going at, don’t just lie there and assume we know every little thing about you inside and out, every little nuance and every little ‘spot’, as if it came to us from above in the form of a vision on the bedroom wall- say something!!

It’s a two way street. Until you do say something, don’t expect me not to say or do what I like.

Speak up… or find someone who’s actually willing to listen to what you want. Because when a woman tells me what she likes and doesn’t like, I oblige.

7

Everyone who’s been paying attention knows that I like the ladies. But what I want to know that you are just as excited to be having sex with me as I am with you… see, every guy, no matter who he is or how cool and collected he may be, has this perpetually horny little 14 year old inside him that just can’t believe that he’s gonna do it!

So when the magic moment comes, don’t just take off your clothes and lie there, expecting us to worship your bodies. Most of us are willing to do that, but not all the time. There’s a word for guys who like unresponsive partners… that word is republican.

Let us know what you like, and for fucks sake return the favor! When we’re doing our thing, if you have a free hand that will reach something (not just the penis, nipples are good, neck, hair, whatever!) do it!

sigh

We now return Tristan to his originally programmed sex life…

8

I don’t have any complaints. Just thought I would gloat. :slight_smile:

9

It’s always about you isn’t it? You you you! What about me?

10

ssskkkuuuggggggiiiiiiii…

How much of this are you communicating directly to the guys you are fucking at the time you are fucking them? If you aren’t letting them know directly what feels good and what doesn’t, by telling and showing, then why complain? Obviously you know what gets you off - now spread the word to others. If you are gonna “do” these people, why not communicate with them? Chances are they will be GRATEFUL, especially if they are on the inexperienced side, which it sounds like they are.

11

I read the thread title and thought “Sex department? What store are you in?” :stuck_out_tongue:

I’m with Cnote on this – I admit that I don’t always pick up on subtle signals, even with the best will in the world. A little hint every now and then doesn’t hurt.

12

My friend Carla told me if I wanted a husband who would take me dancing and bring me flowers, then I should marry one. But how do I know if he really will?
Watch and learn. If a man kisses me like to swallow my face and grabs for the goodies greedily, he leaves without knowing what color panties I have on.
Watch him and learn. Does he see you as a fascination or a goal? What do* you want? Is he interested in what you like? Tell him if you like lots of foreplay, slow kisses and your ears nibbled on. Most men * like to talk about sex. Expect to be lavished with lovely attention; accept no substitudes!!

13

Exactly CNOTECHRIS!

How do WE know what you like unless YOU tell us? Some women LIKE to be kissed or treated semi roughly.If you don’t,you have a mouth…open it.(No pun intended)
We are going on our past sexual experiences , what a previous lover liked, until we figure out what you personally like.Also…don’t fake an orgasm.If it didn’t please you…I wanna know so I try something different next time.It happens…we,as men, know that it takes more for a women to orgasm then it does for us.
Sex is a partnership…figure that out and it equals good sex.

14

::laughs quietly:: I’m probably the last person who’d keep quiet about something that’s not comfortable with me. Ok, let me explain. I have voiced complaints and instructions to correct it as it was happening. I just think that I may have to train one of them in the area of foreplay and the rest are being checked off the list. I just needed to gripe a bit about something I’m busy correcting.

15

Y’know, ssskuggiii is like a younger, female version of Esprix. :smiley:

16

I’m with Ned…

er… wait… not with Ned, but in the same boat… er… ah… nevermind.

17

On behalf of lame, clueless guys everywhere, I apologize for letting you down.

18

Hey Spooje, thanks but you really don’t have to apologize. I just am out to change the world, one clueless guy at a time.
Spoofe, what the hell are you trying to imply?!? ::raises eyebrow inquisitively::

19

It was a compliment. :smiley:

20

Sex? What’s that? I’m afraid I’m unfamiliar with this pastime.