So the fiancee and I decided to go register for wedding gifts at the major department department store in town. I’m not thrilled to be there, but hey, we’ll do it and get on to something more fun.
We’re standing there picking out a blender, she with a clipboard in hand, when some guy and his girl walk up and ask her where to find the salt shakers. She looks at him a little funny and says she doesn’t know. He gets a little attitude and says, “So can you tell me where to find a clerk who <i>does<i> know?” My gal, trying to be helpful, points him off toward an information desk. He says, really belligerently “Hey, that’s a little out of my way. Isn’t there someone who can help me right here?”
That’s when I really take notice and look up from the sku number I was trying to read. My gal says, “Hey, I don’t work here.” The guy stomps off without apologizing, and when he gets 5 feet away I hear him say something nasty like “what’s wrong with her? She should have said that to begin with.”
So here’s where the testosterone starts pouring into my system, and I yell something about how she was just trying to be nice. The guy says “Fuck you, buddy” and keeps walking. When he’s all the way across the small appliance department, he turns and sees me still standing there, red-eyed and fuming. He gives me the old “You want a piece of me, buddy?” routine and I seriously think about saying yes and hurling my considerable mass at him. The thought of pounding his skull with a Kitchenaid 350-watt Professional Stand Mixer was very satisfying.
Not that I would have needed a small appliance to beat him senseless. I easily had 75 pounds on the mouthy jerk. But my levelheaded fiancee dragged me away and insisted I let it go.
Probably the best move in the end, but I was still in a testosterone rage for a couple hours. What a fucking jerk! He got embarassed because he made a mistake, and instead of apologizing, he gets all aggressive and insulting.
It’s a good thing he didn’t say anything more directly to my fiancee or I’m afraid my middle-age sensibility would have been overridden by my instinct to defend her. And then some doctor would have gotten to write a neat piece in a medical journal about how remove a stainless steel dough hook from an asshole’s forehead.
<giggle> Thank you for restraining your inner knuckle-dragger. Good rant, funny, minimal invective. I kinda feel sorry for the chick who was with “that guy”.
I’d agree.
There are many assholes who’s skull I’d like to pound with a Kitchenaid 350-watt Professional Stand Mixer. I just never knew it before.
You have articulated a feeling I’ve had for decades and never expressed before.
Great rant!
Fenris
Duplicate thread. Closed.