I’m only a puny newbie, and my only thread is one advocating a totalitarian nazi regime (okok, not quite that bad, but that’s what people seem to think), but SqrlCub, I’d leave my left nut to you in my will if I could be officially designated Grouchy Smurf. 
(Straining to pull a sack of presents)
GS: Ehghhh… eggghhhh… I hate ‘eegggh, ehhhh’!
I would be appreciative if you would designate a smurf for me, Sqrl.
Well, I was going to ask but Satan had to steal it…couldn’t be satisfied with AntiSmurf, had to take EvilSmurf…I’ll get him back, though…
I wanna be smurfed…now!
I’m really curious what you’ll come up with for me…I’m should those chat-hoes would have some suggestions :).
OK SqrlCub, I’m game. Please do me (and not in the sexual sense). If it helps you any, My persona is that of Eeyore (If anything can go wrong, it will), from the Hundred Acre Woods.
Also congrats on your 1000th post, may you have many more to come!!!
Kin I be a Smurf too?
In Danish and Swedish they’re Smölfs.
Sorry for the delay yesterday the board kept freezing when I was trying to repost and I finally gave up after about two hours.
Now who should I smurf first? (EG)
Well, it appears that Sassette has already been taken so I have to find another one that is appropriate for Sassy. Eventhough your physical appearance and probably your personality matches Sassette’s pretty well. Hmm, you can be Sassette’s evil twin and be called Saucette not to be confused with common sauces. You are tasty and delicious and best of all low in calories which drives all the guys and gals wild about you. Sauciness is the cardinal virtue that makes your character thrive. Beware of Pappy Gargamel because you have a particular weakness for his Freudian splendor.
Do Doop, Do do, do do doop… Do doo, do do, do do doop… Do doop, do do, do do doop… doop. Hmmm Jeannie’s turn. Well as the only one here with a name synonomous with the great and powerful Djinn’s you have become Djinni Meanie’s female counterpart, Djinni Jeannie. “Pumpernickel Pickle, Djinni Jeannie, where are you?” “Pumpernickel Pickle, Djinni Jeannie, where are you?” “Pumpernickel Pickle, Djinni Jeannie, where are you?” Now, I get my three wishes but unlike Gargamel I won’t wish to trap the Smurfs. I wish for world peace and happiness for everyone I know and love. Good Luck Jeannie. HUGS!
Mega the Roo, for some reason Nat from the Smurflings seems appropriate for you. He was a bit of a Naturalist, hence his name. Anyway, if any of the Smurfs could throw a boomerang it would be him and having roo in your name makes me think automatically of Australia even though you are not. You remind me a lot of my youngest sister which is not too surprising after I read through your “i statements” on your website. She does almost all the same things other than getting bumps on her lips from kissing cats. She is actually a little afraid of cats.
Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor, I think the Smurfs were a precursor to the Borg. Where else could you find everyone that is insanely happy all the time that live in a huge commune. Too bad they only eat Smurfberries. I always imagined they tasted like extremely sour cherries. So since you are Borg you can be 1 of 106. You have been assimilated.
Tengu, protector of all things Smurfy seems to be related more to Homnibus than a Smurf. I see that you are really into Japanimation. But you are way too smurfy to be Homnibus because he was fairly boring and sedentary (sp?) afterall. Fizzbang Smurf seems ever more important because it will be the sounds you make when you go flying through the air and attacking bad guys FIZZ! BANG!
Loki, I have Grouchy on reserve if he ever shows up. So you can be Peewee as you stated in your previous post would be similar to how you behave. Anyway, if you insist on a Smurf name you can be Lonely Smurf because advocating a totalitarian Nazi regime would make you quite lonely.
Kat, finally someone with a cat name. You can be the lovely Azrael, smartest cat in existence. If only Gargamel would ever listen to you, he would then catch those pesky Smurfs. You know they taste pretty good. You can smell them but Gargamel is only interested in making stew or making gold depending on how early in his carreer he is. MWOW, mwow.
Evilbeth, for the lustrous enchantress you can be Hogatha who was the primary evil female character in the series. I know you aren’t ugly like she is but she could cast spells afterall. A smurftastic name if I do say so myself. I will give you a Smurf name as well basing it on what your Jesus freak coworkers probably call you behind your back. Devilette, the devil worshipping smurf. I have been there, it is not fun. Anyway, they would probably consider the Smurfs to be objects of the devil anyway since Papa Smurf casts spells. I had a whore aunt who wouldn’t let me watch the Smurfs because of that. I really hated her then she died. I was very happy then.
Omniscient, as a fellow chat ho I can tell you that you are dirty. 
ehhehehehehe. I can’t think of a Pigpen type smurf but I don’t think that would be appropriate for you anyway. I don’t want to consult right now for your name but Shiny Smurf for your shiny white ass has a certain ring to it. It is like a beacon to all things gay and straight. An aspiration that we all wish to become yet will never achieve. If only it was made of crystal then when you would put on pants and walk (or fart) it would rub and make a brilliant sound with perfect clarity. Musicians would search you out to tune their instruments from your flatulence. Shiny Assed Smurf. heehhehe
Pipefitter whose personality is akin to Eeyore’s, you can be Guilt Trip Smurf. “Nobody cares. I guess I’ll just live outside… in the cold… in the rain… now that my house is wrecked.” It could even be more extreme but that wouldn’t be Eeyore’s style. The above I have seen in one of the Pooh cartoons. Tigger jumped on Eeyore’s house and broke it and eventually the rest of the comrade’s (because that is what the Pooh cartoon would call eachother in its socialist regime) eventually rebuilt his hut after he guilted them all into it, that wicked shrew. His game is only manipulation. hhehhhehe just kidding.
The Scarlet Pimpernel, I think there was a character in the Smurfs called the Scarlet Pimpernel in the Smurfs on a single episode. I am probably wrong. I will call you Slouchy Smurf though because he was one of the few that would ride Puppy and with a name like the Scarlet Pimpernel, you will need a steed.
HUGS!
Sqrl
Okay, cubby, smurf my brains out.
BTW, I had a sick gay friend who loved blueberry yogurt and delighted in grossing people out by calling it “smurf come.”
Hehehe, Smurf Cum. I don’t know. If I saw blue cum I would think the person had some really nasty VD. heheheh
Greedy Smurf is your name 'cuz he da Chef. You were yet another person I already had a smurf name in mind for. It is not that I think you are greedy or anything but that is what the Smurf’s cook is called. Since you are Greedy, you really like smurfberries in cakes, in pies, as juice and pretty much anyway you can make them. You are supreme in your “chefosity” and some day will be given a divine place in smurfdom because you made the staple food digestable and delcious.
BIG HUGS to you Cheffy,
Sqrl
Thank you SqrlCub for the smurfy name you smurfed upon my very smurfy looking body.
Again, congrats on your post count.
69 posts…well, 70 now…
How bout me??
How much smurf would a smurfsmurf smurf if a smurfsmurf could smurf smurf?
An imponderable, I think. Perhaps Sqrlcub you could answer that whilst you tell me what my totem smurf is?
I’d like to be able to tell people I was smurfed by SqrlCub, so how about it?
Actually, I am afraid to tell people I was smurfed by Sqrl, but what the hell. The neighbors already talk. Smurf me fast, smurf me deep and smurf me hard!
Argeable: I need more information about you. I don’t have anything very personal. Stop being so informative, man. Well, one of your posts pointed out that over 10% of the SD population was viewing a certain large breasted page but no one was replying to it. HMMM… I guess that is not really informative but what I have seen of you in GD seems more so. You seemed rather adept at military/English history when responding to some thread over there about war. So, I will dub you War Historian Smurf. He’s smurftastic.
Frankie, one of my favourite chat ho’s as it was so lovingly put earlier (and one of the cutie ones too). Dashing and daring, courageous and caring, faithful and friendly with stories to share, all through the forest they sing out in chorus, marching along as their songs fill the air. Wait, that’s the wrong cartoon. I always think of you as a big ole (didn’t use the word “old”) teddy bear. So Teddy Smurf is the smurfiest. Now that you have been smurfed by the Sqrl don’t start smoking, that is only for after the nasty.
Narile, a smurf could smurfsmurf smurf when a smurfsmurf did smurf smurf. Being chaotic evil means that you are always right as long as you can beat up everyone weaker than you, or something like that (stolen from one of Narile’s previous sigs). You can be Toughie Smurf who was a character on two episodes who was a ripoff of Hefty. He was the one who put “magic jam” on his nose to keep his strength up until he finally realized he did it on his own. I would have given you Hefty but I think Glitch could kick your ass. hhehehehehehe
Mullinator, yet another chat ho, hmmm… I would be tempted to be nice but System Administrators don’t deserve it. Is there a Wimpy Smurf or something like that? Perhaps a Smurf character taken from an old Popeye cartoon? Why did they call him Popeye anyway? I would think it would be an insult to be called out on a physical flaw/deformity. Not that you are deformed in any way. 
Well, that was a pointless discussion. Anyway, since you are in Georgia the peachiest state around you can be Sweetikins Peachiblossom Smurf. hehehhehe. Still love ya.
Weirddave, the neighbors won’t talk bad about you because they’ve been smurfing the dog lately. If you take pictures and post them on their door they will know better than to talk. So while I am smurfin’ you fast, deep, and hard scream to your hearts content. I particularly liked that you admitted to eating dog food. Since no one is Puppy yet, (Puppy has a rider though) you can be Puppy. He’s not a Smurf but seems very important. (For those of you who don’t know go here: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=23825 )
HUGS to all!
Sqrl
Wow! Teddy Smurf. Does that mean I am a chubby hairy smurf? Kinda like the Ed Asner of Smurfdom??
If so I am honored to be such a sexy (to you at least) Smurf.
Looks like I’m a bit late here.
Go ahead, Sqrl. Smurf me good.
Sassy, can I steal that line from you to use IRL? I love it! I will even give you credit for it whenever I do! Prior to this, I have always said, “I used to be Catholic, but I gave it up one year for Lent.”
And, what the heck, while I’m in here, are there any Smurfs left? Cyber Smurf is gone, I know, as is Azrael.
[brief hijack] Kat, sorry about the name - 'sbeen my nickname, always with the double t, since I was 12 - hope you didn’t think I was trying to steal yours. [/hijack]
Hey Frankie, of course I think you’re sexy. Send me those nudie pics again to paganbearcub@hotmail.com ;). I especially liked the ones of your back. (EG)
Mouthbreather, you aren’t too late. I should tell you everytime I see your name I think of a Daddy magazine that I have (it is porn) that shows this nerdy older man who is undoubtedly breathing through his mouth. All the pictures of him have the same mouth shape. Anyway, I was looking at it with a platonic friend (we don’t have sex but go bar hopping, etc together) and we looked at him and started giggling and saying, “oooo, a mouth-breather. I know what that guy sounds like in bed. Darth Vader breathing!” We laughed so hard. I like your nick. It is very descriptive. Anyway, as far as smurfiness goes we can call you Iron Lung Smurf because you breathe through your mouth we will constantly be hearing that wheezing sound. HHHHHHHHHHHH, HEEEEEEEEEEE, HHHHHHHHHHHH, HEEEEEEEEEEEE. HHHHHHHHHHH, HEEEEEEEEE I didn’t realize you were in Atlanta also. I just saw that in your profile. I could have given you another name. Oh well. What were the froglok things called in the Smurfs, anyone remember?
HUGS!
Sqrl