I don't have a sister

The BBQ Pit
1

Fuck you. Fuck you, you stupid little teenage cunt.

You think you’re just soooo superior to everyone. You think you’re so perfect. You belittle me because I’m not tall and skinny with perfect skin and nice hair. You belittle me because I’m shy and don’t have any real friends, or much of social life. You make fun of my taste in music, books, clothes, television. You say I have no life outside of the computer, that I smell, that I’m fat, ugly, a suck up, that I’m retarded and don’t get straight As like you, sister dear.

You act like the whole world revolves around you. If YOU want to do something, we have to drop what we’re doing, so you can do your thing. You kick us out of the living room if you want to watch tv. You kick me off of the computer, and sit there belittling me-even though I’m letting you use the computer in MY room. You play your music so loud-those stupid teenybopper prisses and those stupid boybands and have a hissyfit if I ask you to turn it down-yet you do nothing but moan if I play my music. You sit there and smirk and constantly have to get in these nasty little digs at me. If I complain, you say, “Deal with it.” You’re a cunt.

You’re a selfish little whore. You’re only nice when you want something, and I always give in, because I’m stupid and nice and don’t like to fight. But you never do me any favors. Of course, when do I need favors, I’m just a stupid bookworm with no life beyond the computer.

YOU YOU YOU. That’s all you care about. I’m this close to slapping you across the face, but I’m not going to, because I have to be the adult in this situation, but I can’t stop screaming at you. And of course, that’s because I have mental problems, and I’m psycho, right? And you never get in trouble, and you revel in it, and make ME look bad, because I’m supposed to know better, and after all, I did the same thing when I was your age, right? Of course, I was grounded from about age 13 until age 17, but of course, no one needs to ground YOU. Because you’re perfect, you stupid goat fucking little snatch. You nasty nasty little snatch.

2

Ok, color me dense, but if you don’t have a sister, then at whom is this rant directed?

Ok, seriously, I don’t know what to say. I had an older sister, and I did my fair share of torturing her when I was younger. She was the golden one and I was the fuck up and I resented her for a while for it. But then we got older, we matured, and we’re all grown up and over it now.

I’m sure that doesn’t help you much or anything, I guess I’m just saying that she’s just a teenager, she doesn’t know shit about shit although (if she’s like me and my friends when we were teens) she thinks she does. Hopefully she’ll grow up and grow out of it.

3

Oh, my, Guin. I know exactly what you’re talking about. I put up with shit like that from my little sister (I’m 30 now, she’s 27) for YEARS. The last 3 years since I returned home have been especially bad. Every time I complained about her treatment of me I was “whining”.

About eight months ago I finally decided enough was enough. She called me up and, as per normal, bitched at me within 5 minutes over something stupid. I finally said “Ya know, Rebecca, I don’t know when it’s going to happen, but someday you are going to have a 15 minutes phone conversation with me without criticizing me.”

So she REPEATED her insult.

“Rebecca, did you hear what I just said?”

“Yes.”

“Good. I’ll talk to you later.”

And I hung up.

It must have sunk in cos she hasn’t fucked with my mind since.

4

My sister was like that too. Only I tortured her back every time she did it. I figured that if she associated pain with belittling me she would stop. And she did for the most part. She didn’t totally stop till got a new perspective on things.

5

“Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!”

Sorry, somebody had to say it. Unfortunetly, Guin, I can’t empathize at all. Ah, the bliss of being an only child. My advice (and I know you were waiting with bated breath for me to offer it): Next time she starts in on how much you life sucks, just say, “And to top it off, my sister is a total cunt.” It might be tough at first, what with you being nice and not liking to fight, but the dark side is an easy and seductive path, and before long you two will be swearing at each other like contestants on the Jerry Springer show. So you probably shouldn’t listen to me.

6

Guinastasia, I am a firm believer in the utility of physical violence to resolve differences of this nature between siblings. I believe I started feeling this way when I finally grew bigger than my older brother.

Ironically, my sister is a cunt too, although of a different kind. We’re both over 18 now, so violence is not an option. But since it appears you and YOUR sister are both still pretty young, I say go ahead and slap her the next time she’s a bitch. In fact, beat the shit out of her every time she fucks with you. Maybe she’ll whine to your parents and they’ll lecture you or worse, but they can’t be around to protect her all the time. Tell her that.
Looking back on my youth (not so long ago) I really wish I had given in and beat up some of the motherfuckers who messed with me. After all, I wouldn’t have gone to jail at that age, and they would’ve stopped picking on me.

The thing I finally learned is that people will push you around until you finally stand up to them. You can do it violentally or peacefully, but you have to make a stand. (Watch “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”) If you’re not comfortable giving your sister the ass-whipping she deserves, then ban her permanently from your room. Refuse to move if you got to the TV first. Your parents might scream at you, but hey, SOMEBODY has to stand up to your cunt sister. Why not you?

7

I was thinking more along the lines of Daria and Quinn.

Guin (who of course is the cool Daria sister), I don’t really have any advice for you. When I was in high school, my sister (5 years younger) and I didn’t get along at all. Now, I’m closer to her than anyone else in my family. Hopefully, things will work out between the two of you someday. In the meantime, that’s what we’re here for.

8

Yes, we’re Quinn and Daria.

The thing is, I CAN’T beat the shit out of her-she’s bigger than me. :frowning: If I tried, I’d get hurt in the process. Also, I’m 23 and she’s 16, so it wouldn’t look too well. It would make ME look bad.

And I can’t kick her out, if she wants to use the computer, because then my mom reminds me that SHE pays for the computer.

Ironic, but Mom is on MY side in this, but she thinks I should just ignore her. My sister always WAS a tease-she likes to annoy people. Okay, it was cute when she was little and would run around behind me yelling Poopy! as a kid. It’s not fun when you’re trying to read and your sister is sitting there telling you How Fucked You Are Volume XXIV.
Mother just came in and told me I need to stop reacting so violently. What the FUCK? She’s YOUR daughter, dammit! Discipline the little fuckhole! Sell the N’SYNC tickets. GROUND her. Don’t take her shopping, or let her go out with her friends.

But no, that would recquire you to actually DEAL with the problem. Fuck you.

9

Besides, when I do try to stand up to her, she laughs. She’s incredibly smug. What she NEEDS is to be humbled, taken down a peg, and slapped across the face. I did that the last time-and the little bitch fucking punched TWO of the slats out of my door-as well as warping the sliding track.

10

Lizard, I agree with you. Let natural selection handle most cases, like it does with eagle chicks. Anyway, all I can suggest is to laugh and smirk at her whenever she starts that “I’m better than you” kind of speech. Just remember: your sister only says those things because she’s insecure about herself, so she needs to elevate herself above who she sees as superior.

Or she’s just a bitch. Sorry if I couldn’t help, and good luck putting her in her place.

~Lesath

11

Guin, Guin, Guin…

I have two solutions. One is infitely better, but isn’t half as fun or instantly satisfying.

The good one is the amazing high road. Wait until you cool down and be able to calmly explain to her why this crap is so much shit and it is not in her best interest to ever treat people like that. No guilt trip, so belittlement, pure intellectual honesty. Its rough, but can be worth it. I’m getting pretty good at it. Me and my little sister have worked a few things out through actual reason just like mature adults should.

The satisfying one is underhanded torment. Do not act in teh heat of the moment. Save it and let it cool and solidify until the time is right. And fins the most wicked thing you can do. Hold nothing sacred below damaging something of your parents. Its awful and you will get in trouble. Accept that and take it into consideration. No screaming, no crying, total dead pan revenge. Let her shriek about it. You have a war on. Make a list of why you did what you did and present it to both parents and sister. (Mine was usuallly something along the lines of “Behavior X is unacceptable in society. Since the parents have refused to curb in any way behavior X I took it upon myself to provide punishment.” I also usually tossed in a bit about it not being disapline just senseless punishemnt in the hopes that Pavlov would kick in.) Strike the right blow and you will solve nothing, but it will be a release of some of your tension.

And replace your door. Give her the bill.

12

She has to sleep some time doesn’t she? Duct tape and a bat. Do not make it a light warning, break something. Arm,rib, eye socket. Battery acid has little smell, add some to her face wash or other makeup.

Yes I could be a psycotic. I belive some people just don’t take a hint. You have asked nice, now play dirty.

13

Guin, where do you live? And is there a library or something to which you can escape?

Neither of these is designed to make you look bad. I’m just wondering if you have to put up with the shit she’s giving you.

I’m also battling a headache (Never go into battle with a headache when sanity is on the line), so if something offends you . . . uh . . . blame it on the headache:)

14

I would never suggest you use a bat on anyone. Too many repercussions.

On the other hand, making some nice chocolate-dipped strawberries for a snack for your favorite sister is a nice touch. Especially when the chocolate is mostly ex-lax.

Next, rent, and watch, the Bergman movie gaslight.

Nuff said.

b.

15

Sisters: can’t live with 'em, can’t live with 'em.

The fights my sister and I used to have are legendary amongst our friends, as we hang with the same folks (god bless those folks, too). The problems with us were that we lived together and we are the stereotypical sisters - I’m the oldest, she’s the baby. Not to put down all you baby sisters out there, but sheesh…(grain of salt, grain of salt).

All I can say is that it will, I promise, all be better when you don’t live together.

16

Mother, Sister and I had a LONG talk.

Well, the upshot is she points out to my sister how she’s been. I don’t know WHAT’s going to happen.

I know I’m not innocent-I tend to jump at the least little thing she says. But it’s just gotten to the highest point.

I’ve thought of erasing all of my sister’s computer files, but then that runs the risk of her doing the same to ME. I’d kill myself then.

sigh

I’ll let you know how it goes. I think I’m just going to stay away from her for the next few days. I think she’s finally getting it, but who knows.

17

Guin,

I don’t know your situation, but as someone who fought constantly with his brother until the time I moved out, I can only recommend one course of action — move out, if it’s possible.

Admittedly, it’s been a long time since my brother and I lived under the same roof, and we’ve both done a lot of growing up. But just the physical distance between us, improved our relationship.

I love my brother dearly, but we didn’t do well living in the same house.

And, should you have the opportunity to live with a roommate, rather than a sister, this might give you a new appreciation for your sister.

Good luck.

18

Steal a pair of her panties (this is the beginning of every one of my plans, but it gets better, trust me) then smear them with some brown shit-like substance. The next time her friends kick you out of the living room come back and throw them in the middle of the room, and tell her ‘If you are going to leave skid marks in your undies at least bury them in the laundry basket so I don’t have to look at your shit’. That should make her regret pissing you off.

19

Have you considered plugging the surge protector to the computer into one of these?

Enter the room, take a peek at her work, and give her a generous, sisterly round of applause.

Huh? What happened?

:smiley:

20

Before you erase all her files, make a backup disk of all your own files, just in case. That way you have nothing to lose.

Me and my sister get along surprisingly well. I’m 19, she’s 17, we share a room, and until last Friday, we worked together. I’m a manager, and she was a crew trainer, which is just slightly above regular crew. She decided it’d be cute to try to kill the fly that was supposedly on my face, by hitting it with a towel. My store manager’s been known to fire people for towel snapping before. I wrote her up (just as a warning), she refused to sign it, and quit. Saturday night, after she left us hign and dry, was one of the worst nights I’ve ever worked…she screwed us over bigtime. One would think I’d be pissed at her, but surprisingly, we’re still just as close as we ever were. I just don’t get it…