Good question, but I would never have naked pics of my wife on a computer. Ever.
Polaroids, possibly.
you might not want to put too much stock in the lie or whatever he said for this case. for some people, getting caught with their pants down means whatever they blurp out at that moment probably won’t even make much sense to they themselves later.
i would be more worried that your husband’s sex drive was apparently up and running after 12 hours. how often do you guys do it?
Whoa, whoops, I’m sorry, my bad. I meant unless and not if.
No, it would be very bad if he had stuff featuring women he knows.
My larger point is that it is usually harmless. We just like to look. He’s no doubt embarrassed to be caught. But really, just because we do like to look, it doesn’t mean we are unhappy. We just like to look.
Haha, that note is so great.
Less often now than in earlier pregnancy, but still probably more often than would be considered average, maybe even for non-pregnant couples.
That’s a guess, I have no idea how often couples have sex on average.
It’s a lot though.
To speak in gross generalizations based entirely on my own experience: In an otherwise healthy relationship, a woman feeling inadequate about her male partner using porn to masturbate is like a man letting the fact that his female partner masturbates with a vibrator affect his own self-esteem.
There are times when we’re horny, but just too distracted, or tired, or stressed, or whatever, to bring things to conclusion with purely manual activities alone. Porn provides an extra bit of stimulus to help get the job done.
His excuse that he doesn’t have any nudie pics of you is probably only half bullshit. Wanking to pics of a partner can be a far more satisfying and involved experience than a few journeyman tugs to some random chick from a former Warsaw Pact country.
I’d give him a pass on the haven’t had any in awhile bit. When I’m horny, it doesn’t matter whether I last got some two weeks or two hours ago - it feels like years either way.
In any case, you caught him with his pants down and immediately put him on the defensive. Sounds to me like he blurted that stuff out in a blind panic.
I agree with the blind panic thing. Don’t read too much into the random excuses. Same thing with what your eventual kid blurts out when you catch him with a hand in the cookie jar.
I also have to say I think the husband was being rude. Continuing the shoe analogy, having your pregnant wife encounter you watching porn is like having your wife go out and shop for expensive shoes right after you got laid off from your job. A lot of men understandably feel a little vulnerable as providers when their employment situation is dicey.
Think about eating: sometimes you have a nice meal with your spouse, enjoying both the good food and good company and sometimes you cram a value burger in your maw and go back to what you were doing. You don’t go out for (or prepare) fine food each time you’re feeling peckish, right?
The first for me is sex with the wife and the second is porn. It’s just a way to scratch the itch quickly and return to my previous interests but it doesn’t have much of anything to do with the wife any more than McDoubles make me not want steak.
Haha, just caught the oldest, I dunno, a week or so ago with his hand not in a cookie jar but in the toilet. His excuse? “I was practicing.”
Deep-sea fishing? SCUBA diving? The Navy? I don’t have any idea…
Ooh, good one.
Joph, nicely done. Not like I didn’t understand the shoe thing on an intellectual level, the food analogy actually applies so I ‘get’ it.
fixed it for you 
sorry, my question wasn’t really called for.
Hehehehe.
That’s what I’m thinking, too - it was an excuse, any excuse, for getting caught and possibly embarrassed.
And, dude, be more careful with your porn. How hard is it to close a window? Come to think of it, with porn sites, it can be really hard. 
Every justification for watching porn is always going to be bullshit because it doesn’t need one. Because i wanted to masturbate is the only justification you need for watching porn, i assume most guys think that answer would get them in even more trouble so they try to come up with some kind of “i had no choice” scenario. It really has absolutely nothing to do with you, if you have problems with his excuses then simply stop expecting any.
I’m going against the grain in this thread but I entirely agree with Silver Fire and I think that her husband is in the wrong. There’s a healthy level of desire for sex and un a unhealthy level, just as there’s a healthy level of alcohol consumption and an unhealthy level. Sex once a day is in the healthy range. Looking at porn 12 hours after sex suggests someone in the unhealthy range or at least near the border.
Some men say they need porn, it helps them have a more active sex life, blah blah blah. There’s no evidence for any of this. All evidence that I’ve ever seen suggests that a porn habit gets in the way of a healthy sex life.
Furthermore, it can’t be emphasized enough, quite a lot of men who use porn feel guilty about it and wish that they had the strength of will to quit, just like any other sort of addict. It’s very possible that husband doesn’t actually get much enjoyment from it and would be quite happy with some assistance in quitting the habit.
An “unhealthy” desire for sex? Based on what? Honestly, I can only assume you mean that “someone with more desire for sex than I have” is “unhealthy”.
Would having sex again within 12 hours also be unhealthy?
Again, based on what?
I’ve never met one. I’ve met some who will tell a woman who objects to porn that, but never one who actually meant it.
Very doubtful. I suspect it would be much like some “requesting” reeducation in proper thought under Mao’s China.
I do computer support for individuals, which means I see the porn on said computers. And I have never, I mean never, encountered a personal computer owned by a man that didn’t have some porn on it. As long as it doesn’t involve children, it’s none of my business.
In my experience, men desire sexual stimulation more often than they desire actual sex. For instance, I might have sex once or twice a week, while I masturbate more often than that, every day or every other day. But I’ll enjoy looking at explicit images every day, or multiple times a day. It’s my computer, it’s my life, it’s perfectly normal for me.
The likelihood of any man “breaking the porn habit” is just about nil. All it means is that they will become more sneaky and better at hiding their porn.
I’d say that most of those guys that you say feel guilty about looking at porn (which is likely a percentage much much less than you believe) either have a more unhealthy relationship with their wife or God.
I think that’s a little extreme. He almost never looks at porn, I know that’s true, which is why I was surprised and commented in a way that may have seemed disapproving to him (with the “Oh, my” or whatever). Nothing that he does on his own time interferes with our sex life. He’s not a porn or a sex addict, he’s a 28 year old male who had the house to himself for a while.
And I never said he was wrong for looking at porn, I just wanted insight into his lame excuses for it. I think BellRung came closest by saying it may have been automatic depending on reactions from women he’s been with in the past. ETA: I also never said I found his level of sexual desire worrisome. I don’t really know what you’re agreeing with that I ever actually said.
Besides which, it’s not like I don’t ever get myself off (oh yes, I do, all the time; on my own, though). And I want sex/sexual activity just as much as, if not even more often than, he does and I don’t think I have unhealthy levels of sexual desire.
(In response to ITR, if that’s not obvious.)
I’d say that, at that instant, he reverted to age 12 and you became his mother. And he lied like a 12 year old.
How could you possibly know this? Because I think you’re wrong.
Because he doesn’t have time to. He works nights, sleeps days, and we’re together in the evenings.
Of course, I’m not hovering over his shoulder while he’s on the computer, but what are the chances he’s casually surfing porn when I’m on the other side of the couch and there’s a seven year old running around? Slim to none, is my guess. Like I said, he had the house to himself and took advantage of it.
I also know there isn’t any paper porn here so he’s not “going to the bathroom” but really looking at porn.
Unless he’s secretly jerking it to Adam & Eve mailings.
It doesn’t take long. We aren’t talking about a hobby that takes hours on end here. Five minutes or even much less at a time is plenty. Remember, it is just about looking at something on a computer, not having a mistress. Your description of his time above just implied that he has plenty of it to look at whatever he wants at some point during the day.
Don’t take offense because you aren’t the only female that thinks this way and doesn’t understand the situation and how crafty people are about getting to do when they need to. If he had Adam & Eve mailings in the house, then yes, those would work too in a pinch but so would a Cosmo or even Time magazine. I am barely old enough to remember getting off to the lingerie section in department store catalogs. Sadly, that is all some of us had back then but it WORKED and we liked it.
I know you are listening but you still aren’t getting it. Please take our word for it. Males look at as many females as we can. It has absolutely nothing to do with you.