But, really, when? I’m up when he leaves for work and up when he gets back. He sleeps during the day and the only computers in the house are in the living area, not the bedroom. I know (I just do) that there is no porn here. Time, yes. Cosmo (or any other magazines or catalogs that might have decent material), no. Adam & Eve mailings? Probably not. We get them, but it’s not like we’re collecting them and they generally get discarded the day they come. I think I have the most recent one in a file box because I’m going to use the offer code. They aren’t catalogs though, they are postcards, and they aren’t terribly sexual.
So, if there isn’t any hardcopy porn and he’s never really alone with the computer… when? He’s not doing it when he’s NOT alone with the computer either if for no other reason than there is a nosy kid running around all the time.
I get it, guys look at porn, and I’m okay with that. I just don’t think he does very often.
And I know it’s totally unreliable because he’s 12 and I’m his mother ( ) but I just asked him how often he looks at porn on average and he said twice a month.
The all caps protestation in the OP was my first thought (because I’m pregnant and I feel like I look like hell and am not attractive even a little bit, even though I know that’s not true) and a bit of an overreaction. I’m not saying he would never make use of pictures of me, but I reject the idea that they would replace commercial porn, which is kind of how he made it sound when he pointed out that he doesn’t have pictures of me.
If his fantasies are anything like mine, you should probably prefer it that way. There are some things we’d consider doing that we’d never consider doing to women we care about.
Good topic for an IMHO thread “Most unlikely material used for self-pleasure?” (maybe someone else can come up with a better title).
Mine was a builder’s catalog known as a Sweet’s Files. It appears the physical books have pretty much been replaced by the Web, but back in the 1970s, they were huge - a set of reference books the size of an encyclopedia.
Sound strange?
Not if you looked in the section on “Saunas”. The European sauna makers were not as prudish as the American ones, and filled their pages with beautiful, naked women, dripping with sweat, lying on the wooden benches of the various saunas with blissful expressions on their faces.
I last saw these images when I was 17, but they remain in my mind.
…or anything to do with the women we love. We desire a wide variety of women, and it is to our credit that we refrain from doing anything other than look.
I had not yet discovered the joy of masturbation, but mine was a Littlewoods’ mail-order catalogue. I had a cabin bed (not unlike this one) in my bedroom when I was 7, and I spent many happy hours in the closet underneath with a flashlight, gazing in wonder at pictures of women in a daring new kind of underwear called a thong (or at least I gather it was pretty daring in 1990).
I was working in the stock room at Target when I was 16. I tore one of the tags off a bra. It had a 2" square picture on it, went to the employee bathroom, and… well you know.
I had to read the OP again because I was pretty sure I hadn’t said anything against porn itself but I couldn’t quite remember and, hey, quite the opposite: I said I don’t really care about porn that much. It’s true, I really don’t. The only fight I’ve ever had with a guy over porn was with my oldest son’s father when he was leaving his shit out in plain view and my then three year old came at me with a Penthouse all “I found a book!” Or the one time I was half-dead sick, passed out on the couch, and he was surfing porn while the same three year old was sitting right next to him. Porn + kids = not right. It’s just not. That’s my only issue with porn.
Anyway, the main focus of this thread, which is in the title and which I made into a question at the end of the OP, is what Ben said about not having pictures of me, with secondary focus on his bullshit claim that he was looking at porn not because he wanted to or because he enjoys it (both perfectly valid reasons, but I never asked for or wanted an explanation) but because I turned him down in favor of a one hour nap before my CPR class. Oh plus, as a chick, I enjoy the male perspective on stuff like this. So that, too.
Now it’s kind of turning into a discussion of non-porn things guys get off to when they don’t have access to for real porn which is fine with me because it makes me giggle. (Which, btw, you win.)
It should be noted that the non-porn stuff largely only inspires immediate beating off among teenagers, who may or may not have seen an actual boob yet.
Once you get into our twenties… well, okay, it still happens occasionally. Damn you, Victoria’s Secret!
Does he have a smart phone? Or an iPod? Or any number of other devices he may want to hide his porn on so you won’t embarrass him (again) if you found out about it?
Oh, and nosy kids aren’t that difficult to avoid - you just have to direct their attention elsewhere. That’s why Nickelodeon was invented.
I don’t think it’s because he was embarrassed, I think it’s because he expected me to be upset about it. I really think BellRung nailed it. He’s heard the story I shared upthread about my son’s father and HIS porn so, maybe if I wasn’t clear about it (I don’t think I gave an opinion one way or the other about porn itself, just that I don’t like it in view/reach of my kid), he just assumed I’m like probably every other woman he’s been with and I hate porn.
We are very open with each other about wants and needs and whatever. If he was going to be embarrassed about anything, it wouldn’t be my knowing that he was looking at pictures of naked women.
Here’s the truth about guys. We may love you more than life itself. But we’re still going to be looking at other women. It doesn’t mean we prefer those other women or that we’d run off with them if we had a chance. Because we do love you. But we’re going to look. Or at least we’ll want to look.
There are men who are generally uninterested in looking at other women. But they’re going to be either asexual or gay. If they’re not looking at every woman they can then they’re not going to be interested in you either. If a man is interested in any woman then he’s interested in pretty much all women. Our libidos do not have an on/off switch.
You need to talk to my wife then, because she’d take it twice a day if I wasn’t inconveniently out the door to work before she woke up in the morning (and was in the mood to go twice in the afternoon/evenings).
) but I just asked him how often he looks at porn on average and he said twice a month.