I don't know how to put things in my ass. (a true story)

[kyoten]

I commend you friend, you are one brave man, courageous even! This thread shall echo throughout the anus, i mean. . ages.

[Anal_Scurvy]

On a note of impending doom, my girlfriend hasn’t been able to poop since that fateful night. Every time I mention an enema she gets that look Kenny got picturing all the drill and saws and blades in shop class.

[Denis]

Scurvy, that’s awful!

Perhaps her anus slammed shut in horrified outrage after seeing (with a browneye, of course) what yours went through.

[Archergal]

<hijack>

*Originally posted by Mearlchan *
**There’s other ways to clean out your colon before a colonoscopy, including a certain medicine that comes in a tiny bottle. All you have to do is drink the bottle, and you start clearing out from both ends, your job is over. All you have to do is drink the tiny bottle. All you have to do is take the twooo tiny swigs and things start clearing out. All you have to do is…
**

Jeezopete, I want the bottle you get before my next colonoscopy! (Colon cancer in the family, so I’m checked every couple of years.) I always end up having to drink a gallon of that horrible vile stuff that clears you out completely. The last time, it left me so weak I almost couldn’t walk to the car the next morning.

</hijack>

BTW, Anal Scurvy, very funny. Gross, but funny…

[Mearl_Dox]

*Originally posted by Archergal *
**<hijack>

Jeezopete, I want the bottle you get before my next colonoscopy! (Colon cancer in the family, so I’m checked every couple of years.) I always end up having to drink a gallon of that horrible vile stuff that clears you out completely. The last time, it left me so weak I almost couldn’t walk to the car the next morning.

</hijack>
**

Eh, I’ve had the gallon version too. Trust me, you want that version instead. Although IANAD, I think the little one was some kind of super-concentrate version of the larger one. I had to use the gallon version the first time I had a colonoscopy (around age 10 or so) and the concentrate version once in my later teens. The concentrated version was by far the most traumatizing. shudders

And I’d rather have the enemas than either of 'em. It’s just easier in the long run.

[Mearl_Dox]

You know, on reflection, please read that last sentence as “It’s just easier in the end.” Thank you.

[MrTuffPaws]

Good lord. If I was not at work, I would be rolling around on the floor.

[Bruce_Daddy]

(I was avoiding this thread because I am a weenie and scared to click on things at work. I’m glad I finally did.)

This reminds me of a time in college where I decided to teach myself to barefoot with a deep water start. To overly simplify:

1. Lay in water face up with rope between extended but crossed legs.

2. Signal to driver you are ready and bow your head back and as deep as you can into the water

3. Boat takes off as fast as possible. The rope will hold your feet out of the water and your body will plane.

4. Sit up

5. Take feet off rope, dig heels in water.

6. Stand up.

I never made it past 4. I tried for 2 hours, but everytime I took my feet off the rope, I would wipe out. Finally I gave up and went home. I suddenly felt the need to take a huge shit. I was wrong, it was actually time to get rid of the gallons of water in my ass as I had been dragging my ass across the lake picking up water like an ice cream scoop. I feel your pain ** Anal**.

[Anal_Scurvy]

Good news on the anal penetration front. A condom on her fingers removed most of the discomfort. She’s horrified that I’m now calling her fingers gnarled spikes.

[Count_Blucher]

With the force that all that water is being expended into the bowl, its only logical to ask about possible ‘vertical lift’. Not that ‘hovering’ a real transportation alternative…