[Marvin the Martian voice]
Wheres the KABoom? There was supposed to be an Earth-Shattering KABoom!
[/Martin the Martian voice]
(Sorry, had to be said)
You’re lucky you’re still alive little mister.
Maybe if you didn’t abuse those smileys so much, young man, you wouldn’t need that enema! That’s how Elvis really died, you know. I’d use a winky smiley here, but I don’t want to go through what you did.
And if you defeat your anus, do you plant a flag there?
Gawd, I must be sick.
Butthole and fart threads are so entertaining!
That was like one of Scylla’s epic posts. But funny. And yet… very icky.
Not with a strap-on, but essentially this. In theory, I enjoy it. Talking about it with my girlfriend gets me aroused, but in practise it’s an uncomfortable feeling. Maybe she’s just a good salesman?
Oh, she was just reading them as I was typing the original post. I just wanted to share what kind of demented porn can be found at seedy book stores.
(P.S. I bought that OVER 50 magazine, full of old women, and the next time I went back to that store the older woman who works there knew my name, my hobbies, was determined to chat me up, etc. Pretty funny.)
The whisk attachment was supposed to go in my ass? Are you shitting me?
(rimshot)
(rimshot for the previous rimshot)
Not even to breathe.
Be satisfied with an Earth-Splattering KABoom, doc.
Wel, it’s good to see you back at your keyboard, ** Anal ** 
Somehow I bet you’ll Never make fun of kids with Super-Soaker squirt guns again…
Anal, you give an entirely new meaning to the term “mister”.
Lieu, you have an amazing ability to alternate between the best jokes on the board and the worst jokes on the board. Keep up the good work!
Bravo! I’d tell you to take a bow, but…well…I don’t know which way you’re facing.
In the same vein, a young guy at work tells a story about his experience while test driving the latest, most-poweful-ever, jet ski. While zipping along the Jersey Shore, at roughly 30 miles per hour, the jet ski hit something, and bumped him off. He landed in more or less a sitting position, with his knees still spread from straddling the jet ski. Being a young guy, he was, naturally, wearing a baggy, surfer style bathing suit. The kind with enough room in the legs for a normal leg, plus a watermelon. Or, in his case, what he claims was approximately five gallons of brackish seawater, all of which was instantly, and forcibly, inserted into his rectum.
As in your case, once in, it didn’t want to come back out, immediately. So, with bulging eyes and bulging belly, he was forced to ride the jet ski back to the rental place, at the slowest possible speed. But, the jet ski wasn’t the only jet he rode, that day. 
:eek:
I really could have done without that mental picture…
Thanks Davebear!
Please excuse me while bleach my brain.
Oh my. GAWD.
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AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA…
My pleasure.
I don’t think it’s as good as Anal Scurvy’s image of a room dripping with cat spew, but it’s pretty amusing.
:eek: I have a desk calendar at work, based on the Worst Case Scenario Survival Guide. How to best escape a shark attack, car dangling over the edge of cliff, that sort of thing. Recently one of the pages told you how to survive a jump off a bridge or otherwise into water, and one of the tips was that you had to clench your thighs and buttocks to prevent water entry in that region. I was wondering if that was true or not, guess I got my answer!
Waterski guy got lucky he didn’t pop his internal organs like a water balloon; someone going off a bridge without the precautions mentioned above definately would…although if it was an episode of ‘CSI’, I’m not sure if I’d want to see the forensic replay.
That was my first thought. I didn’t know whether to laugh, or not. But, since he was standing there, apparently unharmed, I guess it’s okay to consider it funny. 