thedoorsrule1045, um, I guess I’m going to have to be blunt here: Never, ever try and get laid while depressed and drunk and if you do try it, for Pete’s sake don’t announce that you’re depressed and drunk.
Mr. Happy doesn’t tend to work too well under those situations and all of us wimmins know this and tend to avoid it unless we’re depressed and drunk ourselves. (Note: I’m not saying anything about your sexual prowess while sober, this is just a general rule I live by no sex with drunk, depressed dudes).
And I know this is going to be hard for you…best thing to do now is try and get some sleep and try to get laid in the morning, kay?
I’ve been there myself. I feel bad doing it, but I find myself comparing every date I go on (all of 1.73 dates) to this two year stint I had with the girl of my dreams.
The only reason we split up is that she was in Med school in Albany NY, and I was in school in AZ. She was basically locked into a contract keeping her there for at least 10 years, and I was going to be shipped all over the world over those 10 years. The long distance thing didn’t look promising. Yeah, I miss her. She was the coolest.
But, then one day I got whacked in the head. Reality picked up a brick and hucked it at my ear. I realized I just gotta move on. Yup, I got kinda cynical after that, and I think I sometimes overkill the potentials with the hopes and dreams of finding “her” again . . . But then I discovered my theory of Dating is like Fishing. After that, it got much easier.
Tripler
Second (since I’m hoping you’re not still as drunk and depressed), you’re an idiot.
Now, as to why: you broke up with her “for her own good”, right? To allow her to further her career? Well guess what? Careers aren’t everything.
If she was with you for 10 years, you made her happy. And she made you happy. And that’s more important than career furtherment, if you are the CEO of Microsoft with no one to love, you’ll still be depressed. Get your prorities in check.
My advice to you (although I never advise anyone to take my advice) is ask her if she’d prefer to be with you, if she feels that it’s better for her. Let her decide for herself what’s best for her, ok?
And good luck, you crazy kids!
(Sorry, posting while horribly bored is almost as bad as posting while drunk)
Hey, I’m a helpless idealist romantic, too! That wasn’t why I was calling you an idiot. I was calling you an idiot for breaking up with a woman you love (and was exaggerating, no offense meant.)
Back up to me being a romantic, I strongly believe that it’s got to be a HUGE bleepin’ problem to break up with someone if you’re both in love.
Well, she went to school across the state from me. I didn’t feel as though I could let myself get in the way of whatever she wanted to do. When I failed out of school, my self esteem was destroyed. I didn’t think I was worthy of her. I HAD to let her go, for her benefit. She didn’t need to be having a cross state relationship with some loser college dropout. I felt as though I would have been an anchor.
I thought that I was doing the right thing.
I thought I could expunge her from my memory.
It didn’t happen that way. When I saw her again for the first time in what seems like FOREVER, my heart nearly fell out of my chest. When she told me she wasn’t seeing anyone, I thought to myself, “Hey, we can hook up again”. Well, then my old insecurities came out to the forefront.
I just feel helpless. It’s all my fault.
All this time, and I thought I was OK. I was wrong.
:sigh:
So, what this all comes down to is the fact that I am a jackass who hasn’t a clue about how to deal with this in my own mind.
By the way, thanks Nocturne (a little inside info, but hey, it’s my post)
You’re 50% there, in terms of telling her how you feel; If you still have deep feelings for her I can imagine that if she was seeing someone, that might inhibit you. Fair enough. But she isn’t. Not only that, she told you she isn’t.
You’re willing to undergo dismemberment but not willing to undergo a 10 minute conversation which could end in either (a) rejection for you (so what? It can’t be as bad as what you’re feeling now, and at least you’d have closure) or (b) may change your entire life for the better in a profound way? Frankly, it’s a no-lose situation.
A chance for what, exactly? You have a chance. No-one can predict what the outcome will be. I, however can predict what will happen if you don’t take the opportunity. Do the math.
One cautionary note: listen to tatertot. She (imho) is right on the money with this-
But please, just do it…
Re-reading this, I realise I come across as the guy from Men are from Mars etc i.e. there’s a problem, here’s the solution. All I can say is that there is great advice in this thread from the Venusians, all I can offer is my Martian perspective… Live long and prosper.
Sigh. Sorry if I came across as a knucklehead in the prev. post. I didn’t mean the tone to be so in-your-face. I realise there’s a lot of angst going on, it’s just that I really, really don’t understand what’s stopping thedoorsrule1045 from making an attempt, given that he obviously has very deep feelings for her. Shit, I’m doing it again. Mr Mars is apparently alive and well.
Xerxes, you are absolutely right, what doors needs now is some tough love. Doors love, moping around feeling sorry for yourself is not going to get you anywhere.
Right now, you’re in a position where you have nothing to lose. If she rejects you, well you’ll still be where you are today but without the angst of “what if”. If she agrees to try again, wonderful. (although you and me will have to have a little talk about your bad case of eeyore syndrome.)
Remember, you have nothing to lose by talking to her. Nothing!
And BTW, I distinctly remember telling you the TTIP takes one full, sober weekend to work. I can’t help ya if you don’t follow the directions!
Yeah, I miss her. She was the coolest.