I love this girl. It’s that simple.
I ran into her a few hours ago.
She’s my ex-girlfriend.
I feel like capping myself off, but I’m too chickenshit to do it.
I can’t get over this woman.
I’m depressed.
I’m drunk. Obviously drinking didn’t do anything, or I wouldn’t be posting this.
Since suicide isn’t an option, can ANYBODY give me any ideas?
PLEASE, PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE?
Have you talked to her?
Is there no possibility of being with her again?
God, I wish I could be with her again.
To hold her once more would be the greatest thing I can think of.
You wanna hear the whole story?
I’d like to hear it.
And if being with her again is not an option, I’ll tell you about the tatertot total immersion plan (TTIP), works wonders in these kinds of situations.
O.K. You asked for it, you got it (I suspect it’s not unique, but it’s me, so it is to me).
We dated for 10 years (yes, 10 years).
She went to college. So did I.
I failed out. She didn’t.
She has a successful career now.
I have taken measures to ensure myself one (i.e., going back to school).
Our relationship fell apart because I felt like I couldn’t hold her back from success.
God, do I wish I could have her back. She is singularly the most wonderful person I know.
Have you asked her if you could have a second chance? Couldn’t hurt.
And if that doesn’t work, you are going to have to get over this. Don’t mean to sound harsh, but this is just not healthy for you.
I’d offer to let you email me and talk, but since my soon to be ex-husband is not over me, I’ve had tons of problems with emails & IMs (looooonnnnnnggggg story).
Hmmmmm, would it help you to think “Hey, at least I’m not tatertot”?
HA!!!
No!!!
You think you got a long story, you ain’t seen nothing yet. That was just the short, short version.
I’d kill this server if I told the long version.
Oh, and just so you don’t feel like you’re all alone in this craziness over breaking up thing, last time I broke up with somebody I literally puked and broke out into hives and cried so much the salt water from my tears disolved the top layer of skin under my eyes and the next day I woke up and my eyes were just about swollen shut.
Did I mention I was on a crowded train and sobbing and dry heaving and um, hiving? Longest train ride of my life.
How long have you been broken up, anyway?
If you have not asked for a second chance with this woman, do so immediately.
It’s Sunday morning, hardly anyone is on, go ahead and spew. It’s good for ya. 
Oh, and once I broke up with this guy while I was on roofies (loooonnngggg story, I’d accidently taken them) and the next day I forgot I’d broken up with him and I went to give him a big smooch at school and he pushed me away and started yelling at me.
See, I’m thinking “At least I’m not tatertot” should be the mantra for anyone who is depressed. Wonder if I could make money selling ALINT bracelets?
Thanks for the kind words. It’s nice to know that someone empathizes with me.
That’s a first.
Anyway, I went out with this girl from 8th grade on.
I got hit with the arrow immediately.
I felt like I just had to let her get on with life.
Well, she’s not seeing anyone, nor has she been since we broke up, so…
I’M JUST A CHICKENSHIT LITTLE PUSSY.
I poured my heart out to her before. I’m not sure if she doesn’t think I’m a psycho or a stalker or something.
I love her. I’d give her my left arm if I could.
Goddamn, I want her back.
Step One: Go to bed
Step Two: Wake up and spend the day nursing your poor little head.
Step Three: Calmly and rationally tell this girl how you feel, what you would like to happen and how you plan to make it work this time. Don’t use terms like “I would die without you”. That’s scary. Just ask her for another chance.
Now, there is a good chance that she won’t want you back. Perhaps she’d rather focus on her career or something, who knows. But at least you’d have given it a shot. Not knowing is the worst feeling in the world.
And if she says no, then it’s time for the TTIP.
O.K. What’s the TTIP?
I gotta know.
The TTIP is based on the premise that you’re going to be miserable anyway so why not try and cram all that misery into one single weekend? Now, rational people will tell you that your best bet would be to try and keep busy and get your mind off things, exercise, take up pottery. And that’s all fine and dandy for rational people.
You, sir, are not a rational person. Not that there is anything wrong with that; I, tatertot, am not particularly rational either. People like us were put here to make life interesting for the rest of the good folks out there and to make them feel smug and secure in their logical little lives.
It’s nice knowing you have a purpose in the world, isn’t it?
Anyhoo, what you need to do is clear an entire weekend. If at all possible, go to your folk’s house and stay in your childhood bedroom. If it’s still decorated as it was when you were 15, so much the better. You’ll need a stained, tattered bathrobe, jammies or boxers in the same condition and slippers (not cheerful ones, just plain old man slippers). No need for a razor or toothbrush…you’ll not have time for personal hygiene.
Gather together all momentoes of your time together and look at them obsessively. Listen to your song over and over and over again. Prepare all of her favorite foods even though you have no appetite. Write her name over and over on a piece of paper. Sit in front of the tv, not really watching…you have to think of her, nothing but her. Do this ALL WEEKEND. No cheating.
By the end of the weekend you’ll be so sick of thinking about her that you’ll be eager to get back amongst the living. The very thought of her will make you ill. Even the greatest person on earth begins to wear a little thin after a whole obsessive weekend of thinking about them.
Warning: Do this only for a weekend, more than that and you’re moving into John Hinkley territory. Let a friend know what you are planning and make sure they show up on Monday just in case.
Coming soon: tater’s guide to choosing and loosing the rebound person.
Never happen, dude. I’ve been writing her name all night with no results.
If you saw her and talked to her you’d understand.
P.S. Lindsay I love you.
I know.
I’m pathetic.
What can I say?
Okay, what you are doing wrong is you’re drunk! You can’t do the TTIP while drunk, you need stone cold sober misery to truly get over a person.
Cigarettes are okay, though.
Getting over the complete adoration of someone (spanning no less than 11 years, by the way) is just not gonna be easy.
I need some kind of support group.
Refer everyone you know to this thread, so maybe I have a chance.
On second thought, any female who wantws to get laid by a depressed, drunk, introspective male… POST HERE!
Now, there’s a pick-up line if I ever heard one!
Damn.
evilbeth, if you’re madly in love with Euty, does that mean I don’t have a chance?
Another failed relationship, I guess.
Story of my life.