Yeah, and the only way you can get a pitch that high is through a very compressed aperture. I hate to break it to you, s-c-s, but you’re what those of us in the know call a “tight-ass.”
No judgement here, just a warning. Your body’s trying to tell you (and the dogs) something. Let if fly, loose and free, into the wind! Blow forth with a thunderous report like Gabriel’s Trumpet! Your body, your relationship, and your house will be stronger because of it.
To hear Crunchy tell it…thats exactly what I do SolGrundy! 
I really am not one who gets embarassed by normal bodily functions, it was just the way it happened. The dogs barking, he started yelling at them asking what they were barking at , all the while I was sitting there giggling to myself when I realized what it was.
He thought it was so funny he decided that he was going to post it, and I begged him not too. That’s where the threat came and hence the emabarassment. It’s all gravy tho!
I am happy to provide as much amuesment as possible!!
Holy shit! You never told me you fart gravy! EWWWW!
You’re such a poo!
That’s not gravy.
Or an anal virgin. :eek:
Yeah, I really don’t want to think about gravy in this context, but thanks!
At home, I’m able to fly free and rattle the windows, but unfortunately, at the place I work I have to stifle my freedom of expression. So I have to get up from my cubicle and start one of those long, carefully-controlled venting farts that sacrifices relief for volume. I make sure to walk around the office a little bit, spreading a silent trail much like ant pheremones, but spreading suspicion so that allthe blame doesn’t go towards my cube. It’s repressive and fascist.
Just remember: if you fart and it makes the dogs bark, it shouldn’t be because of the high-pitched noise, but because they’re warning you of the impending earthquake.
I once went up to the Stone’s River National Battlefield site, to see some Civil War Historical re-enactors.
When one of those guys farted, they referred to it as “firing on Fort Sumter”.
I have a dog that will run to the window barking if you clear your throat, cough, or belch. I’ve actually tried to get him to do the same with a fart but he seems to ignore them.
My other dog once farted and turned around real quick to see what the noise was. Then he started sniffing right there.
When I was growing up, my family had a dog who would occasionally release SBD (silent-but-deadly) farts. At right about the time you’d start smelling something horrid, she’d be looking very guilty. If you then said her name in a stern or accusatory tone, she’d hang her head (the perfect image of the “hang-dog look” expression) and then go run off to a corner behind a little bench, where she could hide.
Is that cuz they smell so bad they could kill a horse?
LOL!!
Well, they eat a lot of beans & weenies at those enactor meets, so I guess it’s because it sounds like artillery!
You should never have admitted culpability.
Unless the dogs were staring menacingly at your ass while they were barking, you could have brazened it out.
Crunchy needs to buy you a new dog and it needs to be a Pointer. With such, the next time you release a methane quail out your drawers, said pooch’s ears will perk up, he’ll drop to a crouch, quickly cross the room in a stealthy stalk and stop four feet from your anal aviary on three legs with his tail to nose allignment making a giant arrow pointing right at where he thinks the next airburst is about to explode from.
How does he do it? Instink.
I went to a very small Episcopalian prep school during my high school junior and senior years. During my second year there, us seniors got the priviledge of a senior lounge. Our lockers are in there, and those with the lower lockers had to kneel while those with higher ones had to reach over the kneelers. Well, there I am kneeling, and I feel a twinge in my gut. I new this one wanted out then and there. So I opted to make this the time-release variety, praying that it wasn’t a stinker. Bad idea! The girl who I had a crush on in the class was standing right over me. A pained expression crossed her face and she said, “Oh my god, Adam, you stink!” Of course this was said loud enough so the entire lounge could hear it. So I slink out of the lounge to class, my dignity disappearing into thin air like a…well, like a fart.
Adam
It’s threads like this that make life worth living.
One of the all-time funniest fart-related threads on the SDMB… jarbabyj’s “Will Somebody Please Stop the Farting?”
I have it bookmarked to read when I’m having a depressing day.
Classic definition of a gourmet: One who can smell another’s fart and identify what they had for dinner the night before.