Sheesh! Now I understand why free range birds cost so much.
It’s to pay for your wardrobe. 
ggurl When reading your post all I could think of was this:
Oh, the rain, the mud, and the cold,
The cold, the mud, and the rain;
With weather at zero it’s hard for a hero
From language that’s rude to refrain.
With porridgy muck to the knees,
With sky that’s a-pouring a flood,
Sure the worst of our foes
Are the pains and the woes
Of the RAIN,
THE COLD,
AND THE MUD.
-Robert W. Service, "A Song of Winter Weather"
Seriously, sounds like you might find it worthwhile to invest in some disposable paper scrubs. It won’t change the number of showers you’ll have to take but you won’t have to feel upset about washing your duds, either.
When I was a youngster, my friend’s mom dubbed me with the honorary title- “T.J.”. I couldn’t figure it out, until I asked my friend…turns out it stands for “Toilet Jammer”. I had a few plungerable offenses in their bathroom.
Why aren’t bidets more popular in the US?
Bidets?
Personally, I’d be worried about the potential “toilet water aerosol” risk.
Gee, ggurl, you sound pooped.
Take a break.
Not to hijack but I too have a T.J. in my house. This:
intrigues the hell out of me tremorviolet. So, how is it done?
Huh, and I thought “free-range” birds were supposed to be somehow treated better than average. Sounds like sitting in a cage 10 feet off the ground might be amenible (sp?) to them. Gives a new meaning to “shit sandwich”.
But good luck on the problem anyway.
No, we usually do treat them better than usual. The pheasant cage was installed last year in an area of the property that we had not observed any swampiness in the previous year. What we think happened is that when the car crusher came in to clean up the back lot about a year ago, it left a pretty large low spot that unfortunately, crosses the pheasant cage area diagonally. (The pheasants are the only birds that cannot be truly “free range” since they will simply leave the property forever.)
The problem was detected last week or so, when we got approximately 10,000,000 inches of rain in one day, after which the pheasants were observed putting on hip waders when they exited their shelter. All the other animals have relatively dry zones and shelters in their free-range area. We plan to move the pheasant cage out of the danger zone as soon as the temperature gets back above freezing.
No animals were harmed during the conceptualizing of this post.
Check out this incredibly cool animation I just found. See how the when you push down the handle, the chain lifts up the flush valve? If you can see the toilet is not flushing correctly and startint to overflow, whip off the toilet tank lid and manually force the flush valve down. (you have to reach through the water in the tank but remember, that’s clean tap water, not icky toilet bowl water) This will prevent the entire tank from draining into the bowl and overflowing. If I ever have to plunge a toilet, I always have the lid off so I can “test” flush in safety…