It’s Festivus Eve, so pull out your aluminum pole, air your grievances, and let the Feats of Strength begin!
Or hijack away, and I’ll just add that to next year’s grievances.
'Twas the night before Festivus and all through Queens,
Not a Costanza was yelling…as strange as it seems.
The family was sleeping, just waiting for light.
Saving their strength for the upcoming fight.
At the crack of dawn on December twenty-three,
Frank put up the pole… instead of a tree.
Estelle prepared the meal that would start the rite,
Not a laugh or a smile was anywhere in sight.
George dreaded this hour that came every year,
The airing of grievances would soon be here.
Frank stood at the table and bellowed outloud,
“So who’s got a complaint amongst this crowd?”
“You two are crazy and have wrecked my life!”,
Cried George at his parents who mocked him for spite.
"A Lloyd Braun you’ll never be " was Estelle’s refrain,
“Why should I try, ma?.. The guy’s insane!”
“Enough with the grievances,” Frank said with some glee,
“Now which one of you two is wrestling me?”
"So feats of strength you want? Let them begin here,
“It’s your turn to fight him, mom… he beat me last year.”
The battle was started, the screaming was lyrical,
The fact no one got hurt was … ANOTHER FESTIVUS MIRACLE!!!
: hold up lighter :
Bravo! And welcome to the MMP!
You want another miracle? Before 6AM, I had all the yucky dishes from yesterday done, including the hand-washed items. I cleaned the greasy rotisserie and the counter beneath where some of the turkey grease leaked, I wiped down the counters, fed the dog, sent spousal unit on his way to work, refilled the pellet stove hopper, and made my breakfast! Considering I didn’t even want to get out of bed at 5, I’d say that’s all pretty miraculous!
And: good job, cochrane! I never got into Seinfeld, but I’ve picked up enough about it to understand most of what you shared. 
As for the rest of the day, who knows? I’ll probably continue to work on the lap robe so’s I can take 5 to Mom on Thurs. The NCIS-a-thon starts at 10, so I’ll settle in to watch and crochet. I should run the vacuum cleaner - we’ll see how that works out.
Tomorrow, I’ll venture out and get the veggies for the Christmas brunch veggie tray. Ain’t no way I’m going anywhere on Weds if I don’t absolutely have to! I’m hoping to put off doing any laundry till Firday - our next sunny day. We’ll see how that goes.
Meanwhile, I have breakfast to finish and a cat box to scoop and a shower to take and clothes to put on. It never ends, does it?
Happy Moanday!!
Good Mornin’ Y’all! UP and caffienatin’. YAWN ‘Tis 48 Amurrkin out and rainin’ with a predicted high of 64 and more rain for the day. Tomorrow and Wednesday shall also be rainy. ICK! Oh, and since it’s rainin’, of course, my day starts with a trip to the north forty.
Cochrane (Mumper nickname to follow at some point whenever somebody gets around to makin’ one up) impressive! 
MOOOOOOM you’re not goin’ anywhere but you’re still puttin’ on real clothes? Well ain’t we just fancy! 
Ok, that’s all I got. I need more caffiene and rumbly tummy wants to be fed. Bein’ as OYKW spent the night I suppose I shall go make actual, for real foodstuffs. I’m thinkin’ snausage, scrambled aigs, grits, and toast should suffice. Then, alas and alack, ‘tis Moanday so irk purtification must commence. No need to be in a real hurry there as I’m leavin’ from da cave to head north.
Plus, only two days to irk this week! YAY!!!
Happy Moanday Y’all!
Blurf.
I got a wee bit o’ news last night that I’m supposed to keep quiet about, so I’ll only tell y’all: he bought an engagement ring, and plans on popping Teh Kweschun at the end of February. FDiL will really be FDil…
D’uh, Johnnie.
Afternoon, mumpers! I didn’t really get into Seinfeld either but 'im indoors is a big fan so I have at least seen the relevant Festivus episode.
Good news today, mum’s surgery went well last night and the physio has already been round to see her. She’s now out of bed and sitting in a chair so she’s more comfortable like that, and she’s been on the phone today with a list of things she wants me to bring from her flat.
Welcome, noob! VBob, do I need a hat?
**BBBobbio **- very exciting! Good for you for not scaring her off!
**BooFae **- glad to hear surgery went well. I’m always amazed at how quickly people get up and about after major surgical procedures, especially considering women used to be kept in the hospital for a week after giving birth back when I was born! Of course, that could have been to give them their last chance to rest before full-time motherhood…
Still, every time **FCD **had spinal surgery, they had him up and about within 24 hours! I found that mind-boggling! On the other hand, it’s got to help promote healing - when I was hospitalized, I wanted out!!! It motivated me to do what they said I had to do before they’d release me.
Anyway, yay for BooMum!! Here’s hoping she can get home soonest!!
And on that note, I shall get on with my day. Time to shower and dress and scoop the cat box - not necessarily in that order, but probably.
The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here! Well, not AS excitin, but new countertops, sink and dishwasher are scheduled to be installed this morning.
I love Festivus, but don’t forget the subplot of Kramer going back to work at the bagel shop, then going on strike: “nobagelnobagellnobagel.” I want a denim vest.
Dundonald, or Tommy. 
Zefrem.
I vote for Zefram
I have a problem! I have an issue with Mother nature when she throws surprise rainstorms on an otherwise sunny day!
Blurf.
That’s even more obscure than the scientific names you post for your fish (which Swampy believes all belong to the Family “Tastyus”). 
doggio, are you prepared to sing the Official Festivus Carol?
I woke up with another splitting sinus headache. I’m going to see how I am driving to my (final!:)) PT appointment, but I don’t see me doing the Charity Thing this afternoon. I wish I could, but if I’m starting to have sinus issues, I don’t need to be driving a lot. I caught myself missing exits on 240 on Friday when I was doing the Marathon Shopping Session. Things like that trigger my Alzheimer’s fears.
Speaking of, send some good thoughts in former Mumper **Lissla Lissar’**s direction. According to her blog, she’s having a crisis with her mom right now. 
I just popped in because doggie started the MMP and I couldn’t not post! But since I did, instead of a complaint I’ll post some good news. In my last semester of college, I took part in a drawing/competition - this morning I got a $25 gift card for gas in the mail! I ACTUALLY WON SOMETHING!
‘Twas the night before Christmas in my Polish house,
I creep down the stairs just as quiet like mouse.
The whole rest of family in beds they are sleep,
While visions of mushrooms through heads of them creep.
The work shoes is hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Stash will soon fill them there.
While over in corner as gay silly to see,
Kielbasas and cabbages hangs from the tree.
Then there’s this big bang and house starts to shudder,
Some nut lands on roof and breaks rain gutter.
He starts down the chimney and swears cause it’s tight.
I hides behind beer cases way out of sight.
He lands in the fireplace scorching his hair,
On the busted up orange crate what’s still burning there.
He climbs out, I peeks and gets a good look.
He has vodka-glazed eyes and big stomach like bubble,
A five day old beard and there is soot on the stubble.
He wears biggest tennis shoes I ever saw,
And he’s lost all his buttons off old mackinaw.
But he won’t catch cold, Polish Santa no dope,
Cause tied around his waist is old piece of rope.
I tries not to laugh but I gives a few snickers,
When I sees the big patch on the seat of his knickers.
This for sure Polish Santa I knows without fear,
Cause he heads for the kitchen and opens a beer.
When he finishes six-pack he gives a big smirk,
Reaches into potato sack and goes right to work.
And under the tree he was starting to set
The most beautiful presents a Polack can get.
There’s new mushroom basket and shovel for brother,
A bright red babushka and pick-ax for mother.
Six quarts of vodka to make papa gay,
There gonna be trouble in this house today.
For baby of family I know he ain’t missing her,
Cause I see pretty things he leaved for my sister.
And won’t she be happy through spring and summer,
With those wrenches and plunger so she can play plumber.
Then my eyes brighten up and my heart fills with glee,
When I sees the things Polish Santa brings me.
There’s work gloves and sledgehammer, my favorite tool,
To work hard for boss when I flunk out of school.
With new thermos jug cabbage soup cannot spill,
When I carries my lunch on way to the mill.
Then he drinks few more beers and gives a big grin,
I can gee where the foam runs off of his chin.
And giving a few burps up the chimney he rose.
I must see him leaves so I rushes outside,
And looks toward the roof while in bushes I hide.
And what does I see as I peeks through the twigs,
But his old wooden garbage cart pulled by eight pigs.
Polish Santa jumps in and gives them a yell,
"Come on all youse pigs, don’t just sit there and smell.
On Stella, on Stanley, on Walter and Joe, and all youse
others whose names I don’t know.
Fly over the junkyard and turn to the right,
Let’s visit all peoples before I gets tight.
Then I heard him say as he flew over me,
“I’m the world’s only Polack what gives things for free.”
MAJOR CONGRATS!!!
And the long post before this is in honor of an old boss of mine from Auto World - for the guys out there who remember his “dream book” of the coolest models, slot cars and stuff from way back when. The Polish Night Before Christmas was a tradition of his long before anyone thought to put it on the intertoobs.
Gratulacje, kopek, i Wesolych Swiat! Bardzo fajnie napiszone. Love the random lack of articles for that authentic touch.
Third time in 22 years of living at 11,200 feet in the Colorado Rockies, I’m calling a snow day.
My Wife in her Jeep made it to work, I’m staying home to plow. I’m going to fire up the tractor for this. After my Wife left, at about 5:30am, I dug out my car and the plow truck. Heh, my Pathfinder made it about 30 feet. So, as intended, I start to plow. Two feet of heavy snow. It’s very hard on the truck to do that (don’t want to break it), so… I’m staying home and going to use the tractor to move snow, and then clean up with the plow truck.