I don’t know how to define “gay look”, but I know it when I see it. In the mirror. Every day. Until somebody asked, I never even thought about how did they know he’s gay, because I was naturally imagining myself in his shoes, and when somebody assumes I’m gay, I don’t have to wonder why. And it’s no particular thing I wear or obvious stereotypical mannerism. I just look queer. If I wasn’t actually queer I probably still would look that way. Nobody was saying it’s an accurate barometer of sexuality, they were, basically, just trying to figure out what flavor of crazy this lady is.
And about that, I agree, call CUAV. People are saying call the police, I dunno, that sounds kind of like what people who have complete trust that the police don’t think they’re a dirty fag too might say. And maybe they’re right, maybe the police would respond with concern and respect if he went to them on his own. But at this stage, my money’s on CUAV as being the actual ally.
Yeah, I overdid the drama there I admit; and this for a woman who wears suits & ties. Talk about your “gay look” there. That’s absolutely dykely. What I should’ve done is take a nice, calming breath and then write “for queer bashers, there is no such thing as a ‘gay look.’ If you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time, that’s all it takes…” yada yada.
ABSOLUTELY-- CALL CUAV! I do know SFPD is (usually) sympathetic, but all they can really do is take down a hate-crimes report at this point. CUAV not only helps with the police reporting but they can also connect this to any similar incidents, provide counseling if needed and provide tips on self-defense in these types of situations.
JEEZY! …so is this what happens to bullies when High School truly is their glory days!
I asked a friend of mine, who is an officer for the NYPD. He didn’t seem to think that she was doing anything they could do something about, as of yet. Mind you the SFPD might think differently. There was a similar case in Chicago, were they did arrest some guys just for driving through Boystown yelling “faggot”.
I would keep in mind, as of yet. His advice was, above all else, don’t provoke her. The advice about headphones seems like a good way to ignor her, maybe throw in something to read so you don’t have to look at her. Though do keep your wits about you if she does show up again. Take down her plates and description and pic if you can. Alot of phones have camcorder functions, there’s a good way to descretely record the situation (I use mine to record the more humorous crazies on the subway!). If she keeps it up they can get her for harrasment and intimidation.
I know how disturbing it is to have to put up with that sort of crap but it’s not your issue that “you make her sick”. I’m sure she makes* herself * sick. So why take it personally?
Yes, yes, we’re all beautiful unique flowers. But there are certain fashion choices that suggest that a person is gay. Which only makes sense, since it’s useful for us to have ways of identifying ourselves. I’m not saying that I can identify every queer out their by their clothes, but there are plenty of times in which an educated guess is very likely to be correct.
I think the OP’s feelings about the issue are a pretty apt illustration of the power of hate speech. It’s nice to say that we shouldn’t allow words to matter, but they do. Hearing someone shout “faggot” really does frighten me, and I’m not particularly inclined to be shy about the fact that I’m gay. I don’t go around feeling frightened or feeling victimized, but that particular word is so clearly a prelude to violence that it really scares me. rostfrei, I’d just like to say that I sympathize with you regarding the feelings the woman brought up in you.
Step I: Film her, in the act. Film the vehicle with License Plate.
Step II: Get some friends or a kind-hearted PI to ID the bitch using the Items in Step II.
Step III: Determine her place of employment, family, friends, church …
Step IV: Post the video on the internet, with her ID. Burn and mail copies of the video to the people in Step III. If you can get e-mails for Step III, do e-mails with the vid file attached.
I lived on Capital Hill in Denver for awhile and did my shopping at what was commonly known as “Queen Soopers.”
Pink triangle lapel pins and t-shirts were common. Sashaying(sp?) and strutting walks were not easily ignored. Prissy attitudes happened. Leather biker boy-toys wearing dangly earrings were all the rage at that time. And don’t get me started about lisping, limp wrists and 3 snaps in a Z formation.
There are many a queer that are Out and loud on a daily basis, not just gay-pride parades. If you have never noticed one, your eyes are shut. Sometimes stereotypes fit the bill.
Whereas straight guys dress like our former governor.
I think we’re kind of letting this woman off easy by calling her crazy. I wonder what the hell could be so wrong in her life that she has come to this.
Well, I have dated up a storm lately, but to my knowledge, none of them were on the “down-low”.
The only thing that I can think of is that she is one of these loony people who was upset by the recent gay pride festivities this past weekend in SF. Perhaps she is taking out her hate because of the fact that maybe she had to take an alternate route to church on Sunday morning because of the parade. Who knows?
I saw her again this morning, but she didn’t see me. I took the advice of one of the posters and walked to the next bus stop, which thankfully is only a block away. She drove by and I attempted to note her license plate number, but she was driving too fast. I’ll try again tomorrow.
