I would like to volunteer my services to be an ‘anecdote person’ for this debate.
You know, so your can color your ineffective policies with stories like,
“Let me tell you about Milo, from northern Michigan. He has to eat his dog’s arthritis medicine because a can-collecting woman driving a Winnebago ran him down and disabled him. His full-body cast makes it so he can’t even sit down in a classroom in Florida. Under my plan, Milo would not only not pay any taxes, but the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders would give him massages and make him nachos daily.”
I will whore out my services to whichever candidate pays me the most.