I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a number of years now and I really hate all her friends:
Her work friends are completely boring.
Her friends from college are mostly married and live out in the wilderness. All they talk about is married shit.
Her business school friends are tedious to listen to as well. All they talk about is business stuff which I don’t really care about when I’m not at work. And I don’t work.
One guy, I meet for the first time the other day and he starts asking all these inappropriate personal questions. (he may have also touched my shoulder which as anyone who knows me knows…I do not liked to be touched by anyone for any reason at any time)
Most of her sorority sisters are complete psychos
Sitting me next to her friend’s significant sausage is not entertaining. Do not expect us to just strike up a conversation just because we both have penises.
I do not need her guy friends telling me how “great” she is based on their perception from seeing her a few hours every week all dressed up and on her best behavior. After you watch her gain 50 lbs, have her screech at you for 2 hours because you showed up 5 minutes after some arbitrary deadline, then tell me how “cool” she is.
Don’t ask me when we are getting married. If my girlfriend has not told you about enagagement plans, they are not in the works.
I do not like that idiot couple she is friends with even though I get stuck drinking with the husband at ever one of her reunions.
I do not appreciate having to take a 3 hr train ride to visit her friends in East Bumblefuck. Maybe for once, these people can come to Manhattan for a change? I’m sure there’s a TGIFridays or a sports bar they can go to.
I hate going to her friend’s wedings. For once, I would like to go to a weding without paper plates, a family brawl or a 300 lb “special” child running amok.
Do not have your friends ask me if their pants make them look fat. The pants do not make them look fat. Their asses do.
“Red Lobster” is not my idea of “going out”.
That’s about all I got for now.