Just say “shit,” “crap,” “poop,” “doo-doo,” whatever…
My mom, the queen of good etiquette, uses this phrase when referring to my son and daughter’s diaper changes, and it makes my skin crawl. It sounds more obscene than any of the slang terms available. I mean for crying out loud, could there be any more graphic description than that? And all in the name of trying to remain “proper” and “polite?”
Ugh. Anyone else have a problem with this term? And don’t get me started on the word “vulgar.”
I hate it too, especially when it’s shortened to BM.
Don Diego: There is esometin wrong wid joo bowels.
Ramon “Bunny” Diego: My what?!?
Why do they call it “bowel movement” anyway? They’re not going anywhere! FUNK DAT!
In the late 70s there was a special Beatles issue of National Lampoon. A few pages were public service announcements about people who were addicted to the Beatles, afflicted by a dread conditioncalled Beatlmania.
Let’s lick BM!
It’s a social movement. The bowels started it after all the hoopla over “brain-based learning.”
I believe we should call it defecation. That’s the scientific term for the final act of digestion, where an organism excretes waste left over after nutrient absorption.
Chap #1: My dear fellow, please excuse me for a moment.
Chap #2: Why, whatever for my good sir?
Chap #1: I must engage in an act of defecation, lest I be ridden with cramps and bloating!
Chap #2: Jolly good show then, have at it and be back promptly!
I hate the flavor “bowel movement.”
lol, Siam Sam. 
I agree with OP! Tell this to my dad too and his stupid “joke” he made at the restaurant when waitress asked him about having dessert. “Yeah, I’ll have an ICBM!” hardy har har. But he is 79 yrs old so deserves some slack. (But does mom really need her water with dinner served in a “to go” cup? What is it with senior citizens and the special treatment they demand; is this normal? or is my mom simply a turkey… and don’t pull any of the “apples don’t fall too far from the tree” stuff on me; I was adopted! ~wears halo~)
What, you don’t like listening to the different movements in a classical piece?
I hate it also especially since I’m sure the bowels are often moving without anything to show for it outside the body.
Because if you only speak about the bowels moving, you can remain mysteriously silent on what’s being moved through them. Which would be feces.
Bowel is a word that sounds like an intestinal rumbling that might produce a burp or might produce a fart, you just can’t tell yet.
Is it odd that the other day I heard “Peristalsis, peristalsis. . .” being sung in my head to the tune of Frère Jacques by the voices of small children? Sadly, they never got to the next line. I think there could be a good filk song there.
B&B I will assume?
I prefer Beethoven’s 6th Bowel Movement over his others. Much more… musical.
What’s wrong with “intestine motion” or “entrails flow” ?
What’s brown and squishy and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven’s First Movement.
ETA: Actually, what I hate even worse is when people say, “I have to go move my bowels.” Move them where? Into the back bedroom? Around your neck? To Poughkeepsie?
I was just ranting on this very topic the other day. I was forced into calling it BM the whole time I was growing up and I hated it! I blamed the fact that my grandfather was a doctor and the medical terms flowed down through the generations.
Well screw that! It’s been POOP around my house since the first be-diapered one made its appearance! And we FART too — not “pass gas.” Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Preserve me from THAT! :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
Equally bad when asked if you “moved your bowels today.” I remember a doctor asking my that once.
I like the term only so I can refer to the shift in English’s sounds as “The Great Vowel Movement”.
engineers call it fecal extrusion.
Last night playing scrabble I had a vowel movement.