I hate this product and,

The people who made this product and the people that demand this product.
The product is dumb. Dumb to the level of being offensive. This is what is wrong with America. This product, the people who make it and the people who buy it are all idiots who hate America and they probably don’t like Jesus or my Mom.

A *non-violent * pinata? Who the fuck needs a non-violent pinata? Nobody needs a non-violent pinata! No child wants a non-violent pinata. To top it off, a non-violent pinata for Star Wars III The Revenge of the Sith? The picture is DARTH VADER weilding his light saber.

Oh wait, I forgot, We pussified Darth Vader so he isn’t a badass muther fucking-hand-chopping offing dude. He is just misunderstood and we let him talk about his feelings everything would be OK. So yeah I guess a non-violent pinata makes sense. Then again having the people who buy and make this crap suck my dick makes sense as well.

If you don’t want your kids to wack a pinata then just hand them the candy. OK! You don’t get to change the rules on how a pinata works just because you want your children to be a buch of total pussies.


Well said.

What we really need is a pinata wired with explosives. Just a small charge or three…just enough to scatter the candy around the neighborhood. :smiley:

Oh, boy, now’s your big chance to draw & quarter Darth Vader in a non-violent way! Yay!

But a non-violent pinata is like a porn-free internet!


Hey, Zebra, you know what would be totally fucking cool? You know those party poppers that set off a small cap when you pull the string? Well, you dump out the confetti and shit and repack it with black powder, and put it in the pinata with the pull string attached to one of the ribbons. Then fill it full of candy.

Kid pulls the right ribbon -


Candy all over the fucking yard!


*Way *better than sticks. Way, *way *better.

Nobody says pinata anymore.

The correct term is “Mezo-american Confection Horse”.

That is being filed away for future use.

An America without America’s Funniest Home Videos dads taking a pinata stick to the groin is an America I don’t want to live in.

But not as good as one of these babies.

My brother had a pinata for his 6yo daughter’s birthday. Watching the video of a bunch of little girls taking turns tapping this pinata with a bat was hilarious. It went on forever. He was thrilled when one of the girl’s little brothers took a few solid whacks at it. Then he started hitting the pinata himself in between each girl’s turn, so the darn thing would actually break.

That was a home video worth watching.

I got a pinata for my nephews birthday party several years back. Hung it on a tree in the back yard, where the Papillons play.
Those kids never realized they were getting a few extra “tootsie rolls” on their mad search for fallen candies! :eek:

Hold on a minute.

Let’s back up a few steps.

Pinatas sold separately? If I’m reading that right (and I’m probably not), that says something like “Pinata, $29.95. Pinata not included.” So, essentially, it’s $29.95 for air?

Pinata sold empty.

There is no stuffing, you know like, candy or toys or kittens.

As a dad who’s taken a shot from an aluminum baseball bat to the groin (but not, thankfully, seen on AFHV), I welcome the non-violent pinata concept with open arms.

Could you fill it with, say, reading glasses?

*from Zebra’s link:

Read that again.

That’s right. It says “looks and feels like a REAL lightsaber.”

A REAL lightsaber.


Kittens would work well with my design.

C’mon, now, you wouldn’t hit a pinata with glasses, wouldja?

Pinata filler sold separately.

Finally a use for the non violent pinata.