If I appreciated you I wouldn’t have nothin fucking whinge about now would I?
You can’t change anyone but yourself. When she starts, one option is to ask “Do you need me to suggest solutions, or do you just need someone to listen?” If option B, just mimic back to her what she’s saying. “So, I you’re frustrated with a dirty home, but don’t feel like there’s any solution that works for you.” Or whatever. Participate as much as you want and then tell her you need to get back to work. Most times people like this just need to feel that they are heard and acknowledged.
Or if she wants solutions and you’ve already given her some, remind her you’ve given them to her and tell her you need to get back to work.
If you don’t want to listen to her crap, you don’t have to. Take charge of your own behavior.
I bet you’re thinking, “Yeah, but … she won’t shut up!”
Yes, but I dig bad boys.
I think when people are doing this kind of thing, they have some internal conflict about the problem. Most people who reply only address the side of the issue that is being presented at that time, so their solutions aren’t very satisfactory. I mostly can’t be bothered helping people sort through all their thinking, so I’m happy to just sympathise with them, and be glad it’s not my problem.
StarvingArtist, have you considered having several conversation-changers in stock, mentally, for whenever this topic comes up? Or how about keeping a tally chart of how often it happens, then rewarding yourself with a chocolate bar when it reaches a certain level? Perhaps a gun with a silencer and colleagues willing to give you an alibi?
See, there are ways to deal with your problem - you just need to look for them. 
Er. I’m StarvingButStrong. I don’t think StarvingArtist has posted to this thread.
Anyway, nope, I was mostly just venting. 
In the past I’ve done at least minimal conversational responses out of politeness, but now I’ve decided in future I won’t respond at all. The subject generally comes up when we’re eating in the lunch room and it’s almost never just her and me there. So I’ll just look away and pretend I’m lost in my own thoughts.
If she challenges me about it, well, I’ll say something like I’ve already suggested all the solutions I can think of, so there’s nothing for me to say.
Yes, but telenovelas are stupid and always about the same thing - poor pitiful yet attractive girl who falls in love with a handsome guy, and how the world seems to be against her and her relationship with said handsome guy. Which she always ends up crying about to some sympathetic mom/grandparent/best friend/priest character who is only there to give commonsense advice. Which kind of brings us back to the OP.
Yes, but it’s easier just to complain.
I find that yes buters are usually pretty unhappy people.
And I find that Yes Buter is beter than I can’t believe it’s not buter, but not as good as regular salted buter except for cooking where I lean towards unsalted buter.
Sometimes, I wish people would stop to consider that when they think all the problems of somebody else can be solved with one simple, aphoristically encapsulated nugget of brilliant advice, they most likely just don’t have a clue. Nobody’s problem are that easy to solve, you just don’t have all the data, most likely. You’re responding to a cardboard cut-out of your inner, stereotypical representation of the other person instead of the person themselves. Furthermore, if the other person was genuinely seeking advice, you’re putting them into a position of weakness by spouting words of wisdom, because you’re telling them that not only are they people with problems they find difficult to overcome, no, they’re also borderline dysfunctional retards for being unable to cope with those problems when they could be so easily and readily solved by someone with the necessary competence, i.e. you.
This rant is only tangentially related to the OP, and I don’t really want to accuse her of the described behaviour (and I agree that getting all bitchy and moany about a dirty house is a bit silly, however, it still might just be the tip of the iceberg); it’s just that it’s a pretty common thing, and a good way to cause a lot of harm in social relationships with essentially good intentions. One should always take care to remember that, from somebody’s perspective, one’s own problems may well appear utterly trivial; and conversely, that, if another’s problem appears trivial, it rarely is, since matters are never as simple as they seem, and one is never as brilliant as one would like to think oneself.
Yeah, but the OP is, I believe, referring to people who do this all the time. I don’t mind listening to someone vent once in a while, but IME the "Yes, but…"ing is only the **second **most annoying thing about the “Yes, but…” people. The **most **annoying thing is that they don’t seem to be able to talk about anything **other **than their intractable issues.
Came to post about that book. The particular “game” referenced by the OP is named “wooden leg” in Berne’s schema.
Why?
Yeah, but did you follow the link?
Yeah, but the link wasn’t there when I posted.
Hey, I remember her! She was the queen of “Yes, but.”
Please don’t say her name two more times. It’s sort of like Beetlejuice, but instead of IDBB showing up it’ll be that herd of cows that used to like to follow her around and screech at her for anything and everything. That one stupid git even tried to stalk her through her job.
Dale Carnegie taught me the proper usage was, “Yes, and.” Using “but” shows you disagree with the other person, but by using “and” you give an apparent, if insincere, agreement with with the original statement before countering, in a passive-aggressive manner, with the statement you support.