Dealing with People We Hate

Okay, “hate” is a pretty powerful word. I don’t think I really hate anyone on earth. But there’s a fair number that I have no use for, some of them right here on the SD.

I’ve been reading some stuff… and I just wanted to say, in a brand new, neutral thread, the following:

If someone annoys you, REALLY annoys you, your best course of action is to avoid and ignore them. In real life and here. If you have no respect for them or their opinions, do you imagine that engaging them in conversation or debate is going to change that?

On the other hand, I can appreicate the amusment value of bugging people just because. But when you are sincerely lacking in any affection, respect, admiration, interest or even amusement, your best bet is to treat them as though they do not even exist.

Works beautifully for me.

Stoid

PS: Do not misconstrue this to mean that if I have failed to espond to something you’ve said to me once or twice, that you are invisible to me. Sometimes things just slip through the cracks. There really aren’t many around here I deliberately ignore.



He who laughs last thinks slowest.

I am going to assume that this post is a result of the "Goodmorning . . . " thread.

I agree with you Stoid - totally. I tried, really I did, to ignore the whining, self-proclaim martyrism. I tried and tried and tried, just like I try to ignore my kids when they start bickering. Finally, you just snap, ya know, and just have to scream “SHUT THE HELL UP!”

It usually doesn’t help, but damn it makes you feel better and besides, it’s fun poking sticks at the doggies.


>^,^<
KITTEN

Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language.

It is NEVER a good idea to let people spread misinformation without commenting on it. If only one side is presented, it will be presumed by too many that there IS no debate.
As fast as bad science, bad medicine, and illogical thinking is spreading in this world, not to play the game is to lose more than we could possibly afford.

Slythe;

I’m not suggesting anyone let bad information or ignorance go unchallenged! Heaven forfend!

I’m talking about the sniping at people we may find annoying. Or allowing oneself to be drawn into a pointless pissing contest about nothing more than personality clashes.

Like I said, there’s a couple of people here who have demonstrated quite clearly that they are simply spoiling for a fight, just for fighting’s sake, and not in the service of clarity, information, or truth. And I can’t be bothered. Such crap is beneath my notice.

S

I get great amusement from poking the dogs through the fence, especially when they whine.

It’s fairly simple. I tried to ignore her, really, but Kellibelli’s continuous whining finally made me crack-up!

What happened to “I FLAME YOU ALL” and “I only post to the BBQ” - Gal?

>^,^<
KITTEN

Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language.

What about a section where everyone must be extremely nice to each other? Instead of the B.B.Q. Pit, we could call it the Love Seat!

But will the people who start listening after you stop reputiating know that there is another side of the story?
I grew up in Northern Idaho. Everyone knew about the hate groups that gathered, but after a while, you couldn’t find an article in any paper about them. It was assumed that no-one wanted to hear about that “old” problem. The topic was taboo in any class discussions, sometimes for the reason that “We are NOT going to give “those” people a forum!”
I’m sorry, but like I’ve said before, dis-information spreads like a desease. Not to at least offer a cure, on a consistant basis, can only help that desease thrive.

If there has ever been a more contridictory thread out here in SDMBland I haven’t seen it yet.


Contestant #3

Curious. In what way, C3?

For example, you have the Loverock being an asshole and a bunch of people getting all upset; when is everybody going to learn that people like that will dissappear that much more quikly when a couple of their threads get no posts whatsoever? Of course this isn´t even nearly on the same level as hate groups and stuff like that, but it works. Heck, I hope that this doesn’t mean that nobody replies to my posts from now on!

Loverock was just a big doofus. I’m talking about the spreading of mis-information which, if believed, might harm someone or cause embarrassment.

Slythe:

And do you think you could actually do anything effective to stop the harm or embarassment that might be caused?

Although it is hard to imagine what you are imagining when you make that statement…

S

Sometimes you fight the fight on principle.
It might be a tiny victory, but a total loss when it comes to ignorance is inexcusable.

I just walk away. I see a lot of posts I could bash on but then I consider the source and just leave it. I will respond if I think my words are being twisted by someone but after a post or two and they are obviously trying to draw me into a pissing match I will just go on to something else. Arguing the finer points is one thing but nit-picking is another.

Some people just like to fight and see how much mud they can fling at one another and to me these are fun to read but I have no desire to get into one. If I disagree with someone I will just state my opinion without bashing them. If I am confused about what someone said I will ask them for clarification. But I haven’t and don’t think I’m likely to go out here and spew a nasty, personal attack post against someone. Then again, I haven’t BEEN here long enough to even develop a moderate dislike of anyone. Yet!


The moon looks on many flowers, the flowers on but one moon.

Funny you should mention this. I’ve definitely found this to be true. I can definitely understand the need to keep posting in true debates because you have to keep evolving in your position and expanding upon it in relation to new points. However, there is often a point where people are just saying the same thing repeatedly. When it looks like this is going to occur, I try to end the debate. As for out and out obnoxiousness, I’ll state that I find what they said obnoxious and then do my best to stop there. Those are the arguments that aren’t worth it.

?

Oops! Posted to the wrong place! Sorry folks!


The moon looks on many flowers, the flowers on but one moon.

One can only repeat oneself after, say, Fred Phelps opens his trap, so many times before one starts to be stricken with ennui. Interestingly, this is around the same time that everybody starts to realize what a twit he is.

the ignoring thing is right, its like…do not make a deal with the devil thing.
but ignoring is not an entirely correct course of actions, its more like avoiding, rather than ignoring. because if you are only avoiding the person has the chance of seeking you and possibly earn some credit by being nice, or if not…making you want to avoid that person even more.
its all about respect, people i respect i dont hate, people i dont respect, i hate (there is a gray area there of course).

so to put things in clear view and repeating myself, although not using the same words.
always give the person a chance to earn some respect from you.

Diane, I’ve been reading kellibelli’s attempts to spread unrest, and I hafta disagree. I’ve run across her postings on a number of other threads, and, besides her beef with the moderators, they don’t seem overly whiny to me. What I do see is that your attempts to show her the error of her ways took an awful personal turn in a big hurry.

Now I’m all in favor of stirrin’ up the shit bucket on a fairly regular basis, but if I’m pissed at the dog next door for barking, I sure as hell don’t tease it through the fence hoping that’ll shut him up. Most likely the noise’ll get worse…

I think kelli had a valid point. Maybe she didn’t go thru the proper channels (whatever the hell those are on a public access MESSAGE BOARD), but that doesn’t mean there wasn’t a case for some seemingly selective cnsr*ng of topics and threads now and again.

If it ain’t your cup of tea, don’t drink it.

Z


abusus non tolit usus