Or do you feel compelled to comment, regardless? This is a very general question, encompassing the boards as well as your home life, work life, social life, school life, and whatever life. When something or someone irritates you, but that irritation has no consequence beyond irritation, can you ignore it? Or must you confront the irritator? Can you just bypass a thread or a post by someone who grates on you? Have you ever tuned out the whiny voice or the chronic grumbler?
I used to stew about such things because I was very shy and non-confrontational. Then I got older and bolder and started voicing my objections. Eventually, I figured out that it wasn’t worth the effort to sweat the small stuff.
If my idiot coworker spews disinformation, I may correct him, but if he opines inanity, I ignore him. “Discussions” with him are not unlike beating one’s head against a block wall. It’s gotten to the point where I rarely even discern his voice in the background noise of the office.
If the neighborhood kids are using my yard as a playground or shortcut to the woods, I’ll chase them off, but if their basketball rolls into my garden, I’ll take a deep breath and ignore it. Kids is kids and until they deliberately vandalize my yard, I’ll assume they’re just being kids. Yeah, my “Mom” instincts have me listening for cries of pain when I hear bikes crash, but I’m getting better about not running to look out the window.
If someone posts something that is annoying but inconsequential, I’ll bypass the comments, possibly ignoring any thread that poster starts in the future. No sense in posting DNFTT or trying to change the point of view of someone who’s determined to have a cyber-tantrum. I’ve kept myself from admonishing those who can’t help but respond.
Am I alone here? Can you ignore stuff? Can you get on with life without trying to straighten up everyone else? Are you able to let certain folks blather or freak out or melt down without fueling their blaze? Have I set myself up for a thread that will be completely ignored??
I stew over stupid things a lot. I should probably work on a way to change it.
But yes, sometimes there are things that are just too much trouble to bother.
Whenever there’s a huge Pit meltdown, I just ignore it. Okay, maybe I’ll read it, but no way am I going to say anything to throw flames on the fire. If I feel like someone is totally clueless about something, sometimes I will try and give them some info. But often times I’m just lazy. So I may shake my head and move on.
At any rate, I am so NOT into confrontation, that whatever I do, probably the last thing is going to be to confront.
I used to comment on Everything. Nothing escaped my comment if I thought I “knew better”. In short, I was a sanctimonious know-it-all (read “bitch”).
Over the years I’ve done a complete 180. It’s so easy to just let things pass now. I don’t need to be right, I don’t have to argue a point. I usually smile and let it go. A good friend describes me as Zen-like. I don’t know how true that is but, I just don’t feel compelled anymore.
I’ve been trying to tell myself that if you ignore it, it will go away. However, it only applies to the tv. I don’t like the stuff where people are embarrased out of their minds for the pure enjoyment of the television audience (American Idol), and so I usually change the channel and it magically goes away. When it comes to oral debates, though, nothing escapes my clutches. I’ll throw in my two or three cents whenever I can, especially if I disagree with the other person’s point, and I’m especially good at using people’s logic against themselves (I love to see them try to move on without answering me). I also use parenthesis in EVERY post.
I’m very good at ignoring pests and assholes. If I can’t ignore them, cow-orkers for example, my tactic is simply to be polite and cordial. I won’t be baited, and I don’t feel the need to “correct” everyone to my opinion. Life’s too short to sweat the small stuff. My low post count testifies to to my ability to let stuff pass without comment.
My philosophy is that if you don’t bother me with yours, I won’t bother you with mine. Comes from years of working hard to not become my mother - one of the most intolerant people I know. The best compliment I ever got was when someone introduced me as the most non-judgemental person she knows.
I can enjoy a spirited exchange of ideas and opinions with people I respect, but I don’t waste my energy on the sanctimonius or intolerant.
I’m pretty set in my ways on most matters and I am very resistant to change. However, I keep most of my opinions to myself and I don’t voluntarily voice them. Some people seem to thrive on starting a debate or getting in on one, but I just don’t have the patience to get into arguments with anyone who disagrees with me. If they don’t like the way I think about something I just say “whatever” and dismiss them at that point. I know that nothing I say will pursuade the other person to agree with me and nothing they tell me will likely away me towards their ways of thinking.
That’s a great question. A quick search would seem to indicate I lack the impulse control to ignore most of the things I find annoying. And I’ll have to admit I’m the same way in real life. I send back debunkings to friends and family who forward me urban legends via email. I correct coworkers who misstate factoids. I also will work on a puzzle or problem for hours on end, even loosing sleep until I solve it.
I can’t help it, even though I’m sure that on many occasions it’s seen as something less than constructive.
To be fair, though, I think it’s difficult to contribute to many of the forums here unless you are at least a little bit outspoken with your opinion.
The guy in the office next to me (on the left) is always going on about how management is intentionally screwing us and how bad we have it. Mostly, I ignore him. Sometimes I tell him I am too busy for his nonsense today. I will ignore most people unless I am in a really bad mood, then sometimes I will slip back into my old sarcastic habits. I think that in general I am happier because of it and more well-liked too.
Looking at my registered date and my post count I guess the answer to this one is pretty clear.
Generally I find that, with the possible exception of broken bones and/or lots of blood, 90% of things just go away if you ignore them, 8% get resolved satisfactorially without my .02, and the last 2% become crises.* The trick is to identify the last 2% and spend my time on those.
Specifically, with regard to other people’s inane remarks: I have a high tolerance for silence. If someone says something stupid I don’t feel any need to jump in to fill the awkward silence, or rebut them. I don’t hesitate to give my opinion, if that seems to be expected, and I’m perfectly happy to be educated, but I don’t feel any need to debate things.
[possible mild hijack] I hate the 24 hours after a disaster, when no one knows anything, but they all feel the need to speculate. [/end hijack]
Oddly enough I make my living telling people what to do, and they usually listen to me. I can’t explain this.
I tend to ignore most irritants and irritating people. If I let everything get on my tits I’d be more aggitated than a monkey with poison ivy rash on his winky.
Unless it is something that will affect me greatly, or is a danger to others, it gets ignored.
I’ve been thinking about this since I started the thread. Not everything goes away. While I may not comment to the offending party, I’ve been known to cuss and fuss under my breath over things and people I can’t control. I know it’s silly. I know it can be unhealthy. I know it’s immature. Doesn’t matter - I still cuss and fuss to myself. I can’t help that I’m surrounded by morons!!
My original answer to this is “No.” A good friend used to tell me “Where ever you go, there you are.” A problem, a real problem not an annoyance, doesn’t go away until you fix it or comes to terms with it.
I think there are some things/people that annoy the hell out of me but usually I can just tell them “OK this was nice, but get out of my cube, so I can get some work done.” or I could change the channel, or not open that thread, or not press that submitt button.
I tend to not confront the person unless I consider it to be worth it. Whether it’s “worth it” or not depends on a lot of things - how much it annoys me, how well I know the person, how often they do the annoying thing, how often I see the person, etc. I will invariably swear to myself about it at my desk at work (presuming a work annoyance) and/or bitch to a friend or co-worker about it.
Well, I don’t go out of my way, usually. That being said, I also have a low tolerance for people who truly annoy me. It takes a lot to get my sensors to overload and identify an annoying person, but when it happens, the game is over.
I’d have to say that my major malfunction is trying to see past my own prejudice when I’ve mentally labeled an idiot. I almost never change that thinking, even with evidence to the contrary.
I am so happy that I can’t ignore some things.
I’ve had a history of depression and feeling apathetic and impartial to EVERYTHING and anything is worse than feeling some anger.
However, I realize, when I am getting too annoyed with everything around me (other people’s mannerisms, for example) it says more about ME than it does them.
Usually when everything rubs me the wrong way, and I feel compelled to CONTROL my environment too much, it tells me that inside I’m fearful and scared about OTHER, DEEPER issues.
Here’s my philosophy of life – In any given situation, you’ve got two choices: you can accept it, or you can do something about it. If you can’t accept it, do something about it – if you can’t do anything about it, accept it.
Bitching, stewing, etc., are not viable alternatives.
Which is not to say I’m always a model of mental health – I have control freak tendencies and always tend to assume there’s something I can do, and sometimes there’s some ranting and complaining on the path to acceptance, but the way I see it, these really are the only two options.
