I take the point of view that if someone irritates me I can take one of two possible routes:
Ignore them
Tell them they’re irritating me and ask for a change in behaviour
The problem with option #1 is that they are likely to continue doing whatever it is that’s irritating me - either to myself or to other poor unsuspecting bastards.
Option #2 usually results in a cessation of the irritating behaviour… or they ignore me - but the point is, if I take option #2 I am no worse off, no matter what the outcome.
Max
As I may have mentioned before, I used to have some serious anger issues. I would lash out at people over the stupidest things (“Watch where you’re walking, asshole!” was a common phrase.) It finally reached the point where I took advantage of my health plan’s mental health program to get some therapy, where I picked up some anger management techniques and came to the realization that it wasn’t worth working myself up over every little thing. I still get upset about a lot of things, but I haven’t killed anybody in weeks.
Generally I now try to just let minor annoyances not get to me. I’ll mutter under my breath like FCM or wait until I’m someplace I can scream without upsetting anyone else. If I find myself in a position where a someone or something is continually irritating me I’ll try and see what I can do to resolve the situation (remembering that killing the source of the irritation leaves me with the added problem of body disposition) or learn to live with it if I can’t.
That’s pretty much my response to everything upsetting, distasteful or otherwise unpleasant. Unhealthy, unproductive and childish, I know. But it’s all I’ve got.
Thus, I run away and hide when there are Pit meltdowns, and I don’t dare even set foot in Great Debates. I also turn off the evening news when bad things happen (which means I don’t watch the news much), avoid confrontation at all costs (usually means giving in without a fight even when I KNOW the other guy’s wrong), and just generally go hide under a rock whenever possible.
I really was meant to be a mouse, not a human.
Love,
Kn(squeak!)ckers
I understand this point of view and for a lot of people this is a good way to approach things, but for some people (myself included), the bitching is cathartic - I get it out of my system. So at the end of the day when I get myself “all riled up” (as my dad would call it) about something when talking to the SO or my mom or whoever, I feel better afterwards. I’m not usually looking for a solution or suggestion - if I am, I’ll solicit advice. The SO is generally the complete opposite in that regard - if he’s POed about something at work, he almost never wants to bitch about it because it’s not cathartic for him.
I make no claims to never bitching – and I definitely get its therapeutic value – but I can’t stand people (some of my coworkers come to mind) who just bitch, bitch, bitch about the same exact stuff day in and day out.
