You know this would be easier if we knew which country you were in. There are things we’d suggest for America which we wouldn’t suggest for other countries w/out knowing the laws and due process.
Collounsbury, who cursed you to lead an interesting life?
Have you considered masturbating savagely in front of an open window?
…then again, peeing on his daughter would make for a better police report.
Boy! That sounds terrible, all right.
I recommend you give them all hefty gift certificates to the nearest hat shop. Problem solved!
I too would like to know what country you live in. I wouldn’t put up with this here; I’d go with a nice word with the neighbour. If that didn’t work, I’d calmly explain to the men with guns that a) they don’t belong in a place with children (are there children?), and b)the sidewalk is public property.
After that, it’s time for bylaw enforcement with the improperly parked cars and such, with perhaps some midnight firecrackers to liven things up. 
Oooo, oooh! Depending on how much your car is worth, you might accidentally reverse into a car that is on your property. Shame they cost so much to fix. 
Ok, ok. Men who stand around all day with guns have way more opportunity to key your car than you do in return, so (again, country specific), try the media. “A quiet, close knit community. Or it was, until <VIP> moved in next door to Collounsbury, local pastor and volunteer. ‘It’s so sad, the guns scare the toddlers; what am I going to do with all these cookies and hand-made wagons?’”
It’s Collounsbury, people; where do you think he lives? Why do you think it says “Front Line” in his profile?
FWIW, I do not recall where Collounsbury lives, but I think it’s Kuwait.
I think too many people are approaching the OP’s problem as if he lived in a place like the U.S., where asking nicely, appealing to the law, or even being obnoxious all have a good chance of bringing some kind of change about. I’m betting that in a place where someone feels free to park on another’s sidewalk and there are armed guards posted over an entire street, none of the measures suggested would have any effect. Some, in fact, might only get Collounbury’s ass kicked, or worse.
I say make friends and try to get a cushy job. You never struck me as the incorruptable type.
pan
You see, what you need here is the 75 cent solution. Get yourself a 12oz can of Pepsi or Coke (they run about 75 cents, unless you’re in Manhattan or Atlantic City).
Shake up can of coke (pretend its Paint).
Walk outside…wave ‘hi’ even to Boris and Ivan.
Walk over to the German armored-tank mobile on your lawn admiringly.
Open the can of soda (away from yourself). Make sure to get the roof, hood, & door.
Pat your forehead with the palm of your hand & mouth the words “Ooops! Sorry.” to Boris & Ivan.
Walk back inside & close the door.
Let the soda do the rest.
Collounsbury, frankly I’m disappointed in you. You’re hardly giving this poor chap a chance.
He’s probably feeling a bit insecure and a bit lonely at the moment - it’s always difficult moving into a new neighbourhood - and already you’re complaining about him “lowering the tone of the neighbourhood” and all that.
I’d say he’s probably just a collector of vintage and modern German automobilia, and Russian semiautomatic weaponry. Perhaps use this as an “in” to get to know him better: pop round for a cup of sugar, express admiration at his car collection, and use this as an excuse to say “hey, new neighbour, glad to meet you. I’m having a pot-luck dinner this weekend. Please drop by with a buffet course of your choosing (or even a dessert!). And if you’d like, why not bring some of your armed goons too?”
I’m just mystified by the blue camo.
What in hell are they trying to blend in with?
Is your neighbour someone who was formerly in a very senior position in the former administration of a nearby or neighbouring country…? Big moustache, even bigger (and more terrifying) eyebrows…?
I say turn him in, and pick up the 25 squillion dollar reward
If it’s Odai Hussein, you could break the ice by offering to share your porno collection with him.
Just stay away from the bodyguards if you see them brandishing pliers.
Well, you could start up a pig farm on your premises. I’m sure that would be sufficiently offensive to drive them away. Or are there any other superstitions or quirks that you could use to your advantage?
**Collounsbury? ** Quirks? Naaaaaah, I don’t know where you would have gotten such an idea.
Play Cher really loud.
plastic pink flamingos.
either that, or start experimenting with EMP bombs. “hey, don’t worry, I’m gonna set it off in my yard, not yours.”
A German friend of mine had his mulch pile against the property line fence and his neighbor complained. So he moved it the exact legal distance away from the property line. Then he went back to the brewery where he worked and got the exact mixture of yeasts and other microbes to make a stench and put them in his mulch pile and also set up a fan.
But I think the flamingos ought to do it. They make two sizes. Get the larger kind.
I think the dangers of hitting on his daughter are
a) isn’t he likely to be rather protective of his daughter, and aren’t the blue camo dudes likely to be aware of and/or provide technical support for this? and
b) what if she’s not his daughter, but his girlfriend? That could be even worse!
Get a baby carriage, fill it up to the brim with garbage and push it back and forth on the sidewalk in front of his house, constantly muttering under your breath.
When you are accosted, screech wildly, “You can’t fuck me!! You aren’t good enough to fuck me!! You don’t have enough experience to fuck me!! Only my (insert name of significant other here) can fuck me like I need to be fucked, like I want to be fucked, like I can be fucked!!”
Then simultaneously throw up all over your accoster and piss your pants, making sure that the stain comes through loud and clear.
In my experience, it’s standard for urban environments. Blends better with the shadows cast by concretes and cements.