Cause usually I’m pretty abrasive. Like K-Y with pummice. And I think it gets me down some. So, no more pummice. I’ll be all nice and correct. No arguing opinions, no correcting people if it might hurt their self-image and definitely no more McDonalds for breakfast. Yep, just puppies & kittens from here on out.
I feel better already…
mmmm mmmmm mm mmmm mmmm
Yep, this is easy.
Let me know how this works out, since I too am abrasive and might like to change … if it’s not too much work.
Why no more McD’s for breakfast, Inigo? Does eating a sausage biscuit with egg make you aggressive?
It’s not about not correcting people (if you don’t correct them, they will never learn), it’s about doing so in a way that avoids hurting their self image. Most people take “I have an idea I think may work better, want to hear it?” better than “this sucks.” Just don’t overdo the bright, you don’t want to make Mr. Sun feel depre by comparison with your brand new self.
Best wishes, let us know how it goes
Darnit, Sonia, McD’s makes anybody with living taste buds agressive!
If I may butt in here I find that the trick is not to simply deny ones natural tendencies, but rather to actively substitute their diametric opposites. So where you feel inclined to tell a subordinate that they are the most useless individual that you have ever worked with, you instead welcome their displays of ineptitude as opportunities to “educate” them. This allows you to remain just as vigilant in spotting the failings of others (which are multitude) but permits you to seem “kindly” or, in my case, “a gentleman”.
I have been called bad before.
Many have said I do things that are not correct to do. I do not believe in talk such as this… I am a nice man, with Happy Feelings, all of the time!
But first, a Joke: What do you get if you cross an Owl and a Bungy Cord?
You get something you can kiss.
See, I’m being nice!
I thought you WERE nice. This means my ability to gauge nice is messed up, so I’m probably much meaner than I thought…
I join the boycott of MickeyD’s, though–ugh.
If became nice, there wouldn’t be much of me left. I have a feeling, though, that if I was less “witty” I would probably get a better reception.
Count me in!
I have a bad habit of having to correct people when I feel they are wrong. I don’t do it to “feel better” than them, but that I truly hope they learn the truth. As I get older I realize that arguing is almost always ineffective. People will believe what they want, and if you try to offer evidence, they get pissy.
Sometimes innocent discussions with my GF turn into more serious arguments (read: fights) because of my stubbornness to say: “Ok, perhaps I am wrong” when I know that I am right.
Perhaps I should treat all things like religion. Who cares what they believe, as long as they don’t cram it down my throat. “Eggs are bad for you” isn’t going to hurt me, though my GF saying “You will quit eating eggs because they are bad for you” is something I would obviously stand up against. I don’t argue evolution with her or my parents, and we don’t discuss theology either, so why not tiptoe around all other topics as well. Talking opinion is different of course, it is possible to just say “well, it’s my opinion is all,” facts piss people off more than opinions, IME.
Bah! I’ve been nice and it gets you shat upon - I’ve decided to start giving what I get from now on. Treat others as they treat me, and all that. Yeah…
If you’re really bright, statistics tells you you’re in the minority. Folks are born with the brains they got. Some of them don’t work all that well. And, as Epimetheus said, many won’t take kindly to correction. And there’s not thing one you can do about it.
I offer suggestions and information kindly but if someone shows signs of not being able to absorb it (or unwilling to), I’ll cease trying. Some people do take kindly to having new information and then it’s gratifying to be able to help them but it’s just not worth the grief to bother with the others.
I wouldn’t want someone like that as a partner, though. I feel bad for people who are lacking IQ points and I don’t have a whole lot of respect for people who are not that way challenged but who stubbornly refuse to deal with facts - neither feeling is ideal to have towards one’s SO.
Uhm-hmm. You know, I say this every morning before work. But by 11:30 I’m having vivid hallucinations of screaming “FUCK YOU” in my coworkers’ faces and I usually can’t look at anyone all afternoon.
Let me know how this works out for you. /w
I accepted a while back that I really am just a bad person. I figure going with that is much easier than trying to change now.
Deep down, I’m really a bad person. I’m short-tempered, hostile, and mean-spirited. It’s been a life-long struggle to try to fight those tendencies because I’ve got high standards of acceptable behavior. (I don’t believe anything ever justifies rude or nasty behavior on my part.) It takes real effort on my part to be “nice.”
I’ve decided that it’s not a matter of trying to change yourself internally. (I’ll never be Miss Merry Sunshine). The trick is to recognize those tendencies within yourself and to never let them control your behavior. That’s not to say you can’t still indulge your mean impulses: you just change the way you do it. As an example, my nasty side gets a real kick out of being excrutiatingly polite to an asshole because it absolutely enrages them.
I did that once! It lasted a while, but then the pent up frustration finally got to me, and I ended up exploding all over someone who didn’t deserve it (well…deserved only a minimal comment, anyway). I just try to not be mean, now. That works a lot better.
I hope it works better for you.