Well, I can’t vouch for the ugly part, since I don’t think I’ve ever seen him face to face, but there’s a guy who lives in my apartment building. I can see his balcony from mine and his screen door is in my view (ok, not direct view) when I go out on my balcony to smoke. Well, yesterday was the first time, and I just saw it again. He apparently likes to stand at his screen door naked.
It took me by surprise the first time. Eventually I suppose I’ll just get used to it.
You sure he’s not air drying ‘the boys’?
Maybe he just likes to give his one-eyed snake a view of the world from something other than the pair of his pants.
Tripler
C’mon now. . . think of the plight of the one-eyed snakes.
I bet you’ll be smoking a lot more now, Lsura.
I was just checking in to make sure I wasn’t your neighbor. Carry on.
you mean his screendoor was open or was he behind it?
Is he a member of Ugly Naked Guys Local 57?
We UNGs have a tough, but proud union. We strive to ensure that only the best (albeit that’s a highly subjective term) ugly naked guys are out there being naked in their windows.
If he’s not, let me know. We’ll either file a grievance against him or sign him up.
–WA Duck, UNG Steward, Northeastern US
Wonder if you can order an Ugly Naked Guy? Kind of like a mail order bride? UGN $55.65, accessories sold separately.
Lsura, you are one lucky gal!
I wish I had a nice ol’ Ugly Naked Guy like you have. I must 've pressed the wrong button because I received Ugly Barfs Off the Balcony Guy instead. I just noticed his Skanky Girlfriend and Drunk Friend-- I think I’ll collect the whole set!
Oooooh, I had one of those in my apartment dwelling days. Except mine was a " might be attractive if not for the mullet, naked guy".
Eh…sorry about that…I’ll try and use a towel from now on.
I thought you had just given birth (and had a low opinion of the newborn’s looks).
A friend of mine has an apartment in the Village and had this problem too. Apparently the guy just liked to come home and wander around nude, and rarely thought to close the blinds. He moved out recently, but she’s still got Really Loud Sex Guy living next door. 
I need to unload a set of Stupid Punk Kids with Excessively Loud Stereo. I don’t imagine many people will take them off my hands.
He stands at the screen door naked, and you haven’t seen his face? Guess we know where your eyes are! 
Yes, he could be mooning the neighborhood, but I’m betting he’s not.
Now, just because it’s been (insert #of years) since I had sex doesn’t mean that I automatically drop my eyes to the groin of every guy I see, even if that guy is naked.
But, well, it was just…I mean…he was naked! Where else am I supposed to look?
Consider yourself lucky. The apartment directly across the courtyard from me is the home of Ugly Tattooed Naked Guy and his girlfreind Obese Naked Gal.
They have a large picture window with no curtains.
My blinds stay closed at all times.
woo! International member chipping in here! we UNGs rule!
:::jiggles his bits:::
Beauty is in the eye of the holder.
Please report to The Center for reprogramming.