If we were judging by that, I would’ve already won at least twice.
It’s almost discouraging. 
Right, that’s it. Death doesn’t do it, Zombies don’t do it, Mods won’t do it. I guess I have no other choice.
:scatters hamster food around:
Come and get it, boys!
So I was walking to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams when I accidently stepped into an alternate dimension and soon I was abducted by some aliens from space that kinda looked like Jamie Farr…
In drag or in uniform?
Not sure, but they sucked out my internal organs and they took some Polaroids and said I was a darn good sport and as a way of saying thank you they offered to transport me back to any point in history that I would care to go.
And you chose to come back now? Why not some time exotic?
Well, I had them send me back to last Thursday night so I could pay my phone bill on time.
I suppose that makes sense, but why not just go far enough into the future that the phone company’s gone banjript?
Errr… bankkrupt :smack:
I give up.
self-:wally
Oh, no you don’t…you’re not self- :wally-ing your way into killing this thread!
And to be honest, I thought “banjript” was just your way of trying to sound like an old codger or something… 
I wonder if Godwin’s law works in this situation…
WARNING: TASTELESS
Hitler would have found a Final Solution for this thread a long time ago
You’re quite right. That was *very * tasteless and highly inappropriate. In fact, I’m so offended, I really think this thread should be shut down right now, with absolutely no follow-up posting.
Agreed.
I was just about to mail a letter to my evil twin when I got a nasty papercut and, well, to make a long story short it got infected and I died
OH, WHY WON’T THE SMILIE STAY GREEN? :mad:
totally screws with the whole hitchhiker’s theme.
Oh, for the love of…does this mean we have to deal with the undead again??
Cripes…have any idea how expensive Purina Zombie Chow is getting these days??
No, this thread is only MOSTLY dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive.
Dead puppies!!!
…
That is all.
As if I ever left! :mad:
Besides, I did make it up to heaven with St. Peter by the pearly gates and it’s obvious he doesn’t like the Nehru jacket that I’m wearing; he tells me that they’ve got a dress code. :rolleyes:
Well, he lets me into heaven anyway but I get the room next to the noisy ice machine for all eternity and every day he runs by screaming…