Scrabble is hard!
No no…that’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.
My husband and friends often tell me that my biggest stress inducing personality trait is that I CONSTANTLY worry about what others think of me, and consequently I’m ALWAYS walking on eggshells, making sure I don’t offend or anger anybody even though my sense of humor is brash and sarcastic, riddled with biting satire that my mother says isn’t ‘nice’. Knowing that this is the real me (a me that only my husband and best friend see), I’m SO careful about what I say, how I say it…when I say it…and I’m definitely one who grovels and apologizes at every turn to make sure everyone still likes me. Immature and hardly progressive, I’m sure.
Anyway, a woman that I used to know in college was in Chicago a few weeks ago, and I was so happy to see that she had lost no less than 150 pounds…an issue that I know she’d been struggling with for years. I rushed up to her, gave her a hug and said,
“You look beautiful!” she stepped away, crossed her arms and said,
“I didn’t look beautiful before?” I was flabbergasted. I said,
“Of…of course! But now!”
“Now what? Now that I’ve lost weight I’m acceptable? I was ALWAYS beautiful. I’m a beautiful woman.” and she walked away! I absolutely didn’t know what to say.
What was I supposed to say? How do you compliment someone on that? Do you NOT compliment someone? If I lose even two pounds I want the world falling at my feet. I was being honest! She looked great.
I don’t know…what do you think I should have said to not offend her with a compliment?