I have been speaking with my wife via telephone for the last half an hour (we live 700 miles apart); she’s currently requesting veto power over the content of this post. Anyway, she has been perusing the boards quite some time now and today she mentioned she’d registered. To my dismay, she would not reveal her handle. As Tymp manned the keyboard, I elicited vital information to narrow the search. Within moments, we found the tidbit of info for which we sought.
At this juncture in time, I would like to introduce to you my lovely, intellingent, enrapturing wife, lilah.
I would greatly appreciate it if my fellow Dopers would take a moment to welcome her to the community (and mention nothing of the crush thread).
He has a strange affinity with burrowing creatures.
He once had a short stint in a boy-band called “Hot Niples”
He likes to use Cheez-Whiz as lubricant.
He always wears Seran-Wrap under his clothing and wax paper on his feet. (except when you’re looking)
He likes to dress up as J. Edgar Hoover… when Edgar wasn’t in drag. He’s just crazy, he’s not a pervert (well, unless you count the cheez-wiz, and the tapioca, which I’m not even gonna go into).
He once had a rather strange experience with a set of bungee cords a corkscrew and a marilyn monroe wig. But once again, we’re not gonna go into that.
He really gets off on scaring the cat with the vacuum cleaner.
He has connections with the Illuminati.
He once had his brain switched with a mountain gorilla. They’re still trying to catch that damn gorilla.
Will we learn any embarrising pet names for ya Nen? Shnookum wookums? Her fluffly bear? Her Man toy of lust? Huh huh huh? Come on lilah spill the dirt!!
TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING:
Three months, one week, four days, 10 hours, 8 minutes and 0 seconds.
4096 cigarettes not smoked, saving $512.11.
Life saved: 2 weeks, 5 hours, 20 minutes.
Welcome to the SDMB.