I just made a Tom-Robbins-worthy simile!

OK, everyone who loves Tom Robbins knows that one of his most impressive stylistic signatures is his use of unlikely and sublime similes. Well I’m mighty proud of myself, because tonight, I wrote one.

My friend was writing a paper about the concurrent rise of Pop Art and Garage Rock - Andy Warhol and The Velvet Underground, etc. I wrote down a phrase, and told her that if she didn’t use it, I would disown her. She said she’d use it, but nobody present gave me the adoration I feel I deserve, so I’m appealing to the teeming millions to enshrine me in the proper place for enshrining heroes of the simile.

And here we go…

“… a song as short, shimmering and misanthropic as a veteran car-wash gnome.”


Sorry, I’m really trying, but I just don’t get the idea of a car wash gnome.
It was really strong right up till the last noun, though.