I just yelled at my friend's neighbors. Was I a bitch?

In My Humble Opinion
1

My friend called and asked me to babysit this evening on short notice. She and her husband had gotten in a fight, and he had gone to a friend’s house to calm down. She wanted to go talk to him face to face without having to worry about feeding infants.

I arrived about 10:45 PM, as she was talking to her neighbor. A little backround on the neighbors: although this is a decent middle-class neighborhood, the next-door neighbors are crackheads. Or meth addicts, we’re not really sure but they’re drug addicts either way. They get into fights about drugs in the middle of the night all the time and wake up her kids, they’ve had the cops over at their house too many times to count, but never go to jail (for long). So the neighborly relationship is strained, to say the least.

But apparently earlier today, the guy next door had helped her husband with a minor car repair, and her husband had promised him $20 for his trouble. But then my friend and her husband argued, so he left without paying him. My friend offered to go to the ATM and get him his money after she’d talked with her husband.

She left to go talk to her husband, and I settled in on the couch, keeping an ear out for fussing babies. A short time goes by, and there’s a (loud) knock at the door. It’s the woman from next door. She apologizes for bothering me and asks me to tell my friend to knock on the window when she gets home so they can get their money. I say fine.

Another 15 minutes goes by, and there’s another (very loud) knock on the door. Keep in mind, this is 11 PM and there are four small children sleeping. I answer the door, and it’s the woman again. Very nastily she asks me if I can call my friend, because they need this money now and she needs to come pay them before she deals with her marital issues. I say I’ll try but I doubt it will matter because my friend is more concerned with her husband than paying them this money, and she should just wait.

I’m irritated at this point. The only reason they need this money is for drugs, and 1) it’s not my problem and 2) it’s too effing late to be banging on neighbor’s doors demanding their babysitter solve this problem.

Another few minutes go by. Another very loud knock, although this time it’s her boyfriend. I’m pissed, and I come out with guns flying. “You need to stop coming over here-” “This is the first time I’ve come over.” “-I don’t fucking care, you don’t need to be banging on doors when there are kids sleeping. That money is not my fucking problem so just go back over there and FUCK OFF.”

They haven’t been back, thankfully, because I just had to feed a very hungry 2 month old and I don’t need to deal with crackheads too. But I feel kind of bad, because I was rather harsh. I seem to have only 2 modes of dealing with people, shy and meek or raging bitch. Did I overreact?

2

If the guy just happened to come over on an unrelated mission, mildly. But since that’s highly unlikely, no, I don’t think you were out of bounds at all.

3

Some people need to hear things shouted at them before they even hear it.
Most people know not to hammer on doors unless something’s on fire.
Sometimes, it’s okay to be a bitch. I don’t think you were, but it would’ve been okay if you had been.

4

What did he say to you after you told him to fuck off, or did you just shut the door before he could respond?

Also how do you know they need the money for drugs? Did the neighbor woman tell you or did you just guess? (I am sure that your guess would be correct, I am just wondering if/how the woman explained why she needed money NOW at 11 pm).

Let us know how it turns out! What a bunch of jerks!

5

You can come over and house sit for me anytime!

6

I just yelled at my friend’s neighbors. Was I a bitch?

Yes.

Thank God.

There are situations where being a bitch is precisely the right thing to do. I’d say this was one of them.

7

On the charge of being a bitch in the first degree, I find the defendant not guilty. Three door poundings late at night earn a good cussing.

Case dismissed.

8

Not a bitch, no. Perhaps an idiot. Why the fuck are you arguing with drug addled felons? Call the Police. Don’t answer the door.

9

Tweakers and coke fiends aren’t even human. They are intolerable subhumans who needn’t be accorded the normal considerations that we extend to non-feral members of society. What you did is no worse than yelling at a dog for crapping in your shoe. If it had been me, I would have answered the door with a stun gun or a cattle prod in my hand.

10

Why do you care?

Why did you keep answering the door?

There’s no law saying you have to respond to every knock on the door; that’s what the peephole is for.

I take my hat off to you for helping your friend out, but seriously…I would have just IGNORED the people knocking. If they live there, they have a key. If they don’t, they can knock til the world ends. If they keep knocking and don’t go away, call the freakin’ cops. They are harrassing you.

You’re there to watch your friend’s kids. Not to be their secretary/defense attorney. Just turn off the porch light and ignore the bullshit!

11

A crackhead wants money they’re owed for a fix? Giving them the $20 the first time and getting it from your friend would have probably been the safest thing to do for you and the kids.

12

Did you miss the part about the sleeping babies?

13

“I’m sorry, when my friend gets home I’ll remind her about the $20, but other than that there’s nothing I can do. Until then, I have children sleeping here, so I need you to stop coming over. Thanks.”

You’ve got to say something like that before you start yelling. I’d be really annoyed as well, and losing your temper here is just a venial sin, but, ultimately, someone else’s rudeness is a poor excuse for our own (as is someone else’s drug abuse).

14

Being too harsh to a crackhead? I don’t believe there is such a thing.

15

You weren’t a bitch, I’d have done the same.

As mentioned in various forms upthread, I don’t consider ‘crackheads’ inhuman though. That’s kind of a weird statement, perhaps from someone who doesn’t understand addiction.

16

For what? I’m getting tired of seeing this in threads lately. It’s one thing when the thread is about an unreported rape. But this? Cops are not going to respond to “my neighbor knocked on my door.” It’s barely even a misdemeanor. They often don’t respond to felonies like burgled houses and cars, so why the hell would they do anything about this?

(addendum: I realize that in a legal sense, them knocking after you telling them to go away is trespassing, in the same way that brushing against your arm can be considered assault. In the real world, no one calls it that, and certainly no one is charged with a crime for those actions. And rightfully so, for our justice system is overworked enough without petty crap like that.)

17

This…unless you were unsure that the husband was actually going to pay the neighbor back, or you didn’t have it on you.

18

Out here the Police would come. All you have to do is say “the druggies next door have been repeatedly pounding on my door, demanding money, acting threatening, and they won’t stop”.

In any case, why the fuck confront them and open the damn door after the first interaction? By demand #2, it seems to me that it has become possibly dangerous. The Op was endangering herself and the children.

I agree with Audrey Levins.

19

Normally I would say it’s not your place to piss off someone else’s neighbors but all you did was explain the obvious to a couple of adult/children. You did well in this respect.

On a different note… I understand that you wanted to stop them from waking the kids but I’m wondering how safe it is to deal with a couple of jonesing crackheads in the middle of the night.

20

It’s still safer. Drug addicts are not known for their mental stability.