Ophanim
November 22, 1999, 5:09am
1
-After long hours of careful study of nearly twenty years of The Straight Dope I have found out what Cecil Adams really is.
Cybernetic
Or C.E.C.I.L… However this is where the trail stopped. I had no idea where the Adams came from. Until today.
American
-It’s a coporate tag!! They just built an office complex here in Lexington. We truly are through the looking glass.
I also have some disturbing information on Soylent Green, that you should know.
elelle
November 22, 1999, 5:12am
2
Not deleted yet. Okey doke.
I thought the L stood for left-handed.
Viper
November 22, 1999, 2:02pm
4
You cannot define Cecil Adams with mere words. He is much beyond that.
Bow down and repent you infidel.
Watch for Ophanim to post again. If he does, they didn’t have to kill him, so he guessed wrong.
If that was his last post, ever. . . .
Cooper
November 22, 1999, 4:29pm
6
If they killed him he would just become a martyr!
David_B
November 22, 1999, 4:40pm
7
Or they could let him live so you’ll think he was wrong because he wasn’t killed…
Ophanim
November 22, 1999, 4:44pm
8
Hello… friends… I… am… still… alive… therefore… I… was… wrong. You… can… go… about… your… lives… now.
Your humble,
Viper
November 22, 1999, 5:17pm
9
Ah, but the Board Moderators have tremendous power. They could have killed him/her and then assumed the name so that others would think that he/she was wrong and allowed to live.
I think the Ophanim at the end is an impostor.
Viper
David_B
November 22, 1999, 7:31pm
10
Watch your step, Viper. If we did it to him, (not that I’m admitting anything, mind you), we could do it to you…
maybe we should do a retina scan on Oph to make sure it is the real one?
“Only when he no longer knows what he is doing, does the painter do good
Ophanim
November 22, 1999, 10:35pm
12
Of… course… I’m… me. Now… put… this… C.E.C.I.L… business… out… of… your… head… Before you are silenced, Infidel!
Your Humble,
Viper
November 22, 1999, 10:43pm
13
I am sorry, I was mistaken, he must be the real Ophanim, the board would never do anything to any of its posters, no matter what they think they have discovered.
Viper
Ophanim
November 22, 1999, 10:51pm
14
Yes… Viper… is right. NEVER EVER DISPUTE THE BOARD. You don’t wanna risk “termination” from “the board” do you?
Your Humble,
system
November 23, 1999, 1:05am
15
No spelling errors.
No stupid remarks about the Japanese.
No totally fried Pink Floyd references.
This is not the Ophanim we’ll all know, love & ridicule at every possible opportunity, or at least whenever he is’nt looking.
It’s… A Clone.
Is an appreciation of beauty a function of the human soul?
Ophanim
November 23, 1999, 5:23am
16
Don’t listen to him!! There is NO Ophanim clone!!! Just me! See, the Japanese are… um… stupid, and Pink Floyd is… uh… Groovy. See, no clones, no assassins, no nothing. Now stop this or be deleted!!! From the board I mean.
Your Humble,
Ophanim
Of… course… I’m… me. Now… put… this… C.E.C.I.L… business… out… of… your… head… Before you are silenced, Infidel!
Hey guys, I haven’t been here long enough to know Ophanim like you do, but do those ampersands spell out “torture” in morse code?
Viper
November 23, 1999, 7:32pm
18
They spell nothing. Do not continue with this line of thought. It will lead to nowhere.
There is nothing strange going on on this board.
Just drop it.
Viper
In Triumph of the Straight Dope (Cecil Adams, 1999), it reads, on the “About the Author” page, “Cecil Adams is still the author. If anything changes, we’ll let you know”.
I read this as a friendly warning that there is no need to inquire any further into this topic. .