As nervous as a rocking chair at a weight loss facility.
Wasn’t a rocking chair something Elvis or Buddy Holly would sit on?
At first, but once their careers got going, they would sit on a rolling chair.
I seat what you did there.
Sofa this pun thread is great fun.
Yes! These puns are just divan.
Someone stole my sofa. Thankfully, it was recovered.
Where was it found? Davenport or the Ottoman Empire?
Excuse me for a moment. I’m going to step outside and smoke a Chesterfield.
Here, have a pillow mint after your smoke.
That would certainly cushion the blow.
… Panache said softly.
Speaking of soft, the recently announced the first death from an overdose of Viagra. A man took twelve pills and his wife died.
Now they’re a couple of lucky stiffs.
At least she died doing who she loved.
Or maybe she died thinking about England.
My cousin is having regular sex with his best friend and is terrible at keeping it a secret from me. But he does his bestie.
These are great! Keep it up!
That’s what the Viagra’s for.
I once dated a blind girl who said that I had the largest penis that she ever encountered, but I think she was just pulling my leg.