I like bananas a bunch

Cutting down a tree with a block of cheese is easy. You just gotta make sure it’s extra sharp.

That’s how they make Lumberger cheese.

no whey!

Could you rennet by me again?

I was hanging out with my friend from Mexico the other day, and he asked me how runny I liked my cottage cheese. Told him, “No whey, Jose.”

I met my Mexican friend yesterday, and he said his cataracts are worse, so I asked him, “Jose, can you see?”

Doesn’t that belong in the “anthems only” thread?

There was a kid at my school who did not stand for the national anthem. I was so angry that I kicked him out of his wheelchair.

I’ve got a good two feet two my dad. Of course, he’s a double amputee though.

One of my co-workers is an amputee. For Christmas, I got her a new prosthetic leg. It was just a stocking filler.

I met a guy who’d had his legs amputated, and asked him how he was coping. He said. “Well, I can’t kick.”

I knew a guy who got in a terrible accident and had to have his left arm and leg amputated. It was touch and go for a while, but he’s alright now.

Wasn’t he a wrestler named Nelson?

I observed two silk worms in a wrestling match the other day. It ended in a tie.

In other words, it did knot.

My wife thinks her ability to tie a cherry stem into a knot with her tongue is cool, but as a man with a cherry-stem-sized penis I’m horrified.

Cherry-stem-size penis? That’s pitiful.

Must be difficult for you to be fruitful and multiply.

That is a juicy bit of information.

I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. Don’t know if I’m coming or going.