I went to a dinner party in a house of ill repute. Tarts were served. I just opted for coffee and cake.
After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the dessert menu. “Can I ask you something?” I said. “Certainly,” he replied. I said, “Why did you just eat my food?”
I bet I’d be a great waiter. I’d bring so much to the table.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
My brother and I had the same size feet, so I’d occasionally borrow his shoes and he’d borrow mine. We were sole brothers.
I never thought orthopedic shoes would really work for me, but I stand corrected.
I watched a movie called “The Adjustment,” about a Chiropractor who quits, goes back to school and becomes an famous Orthopedic Spine Surgeon. I didn’t really like it.
Too much backstory.
But I’ll bet that the good parts were spine-tingling.
Yeah, but the rest of it just slowly lumbared along.
I thought my doctor was helping me with these lumbar injections but come to find out he was just stabbing me in the back.
I took my fox terrier to a veterinarian to get shots but was turned away because he was only doing labs that day.
Does that mean that they weren’t doing cat scans either?
They threw out that old machine. In other words, the cat scan is in the scat can.
Hey, there’s more than one way to scan a cat.
I don’t have a cat, can I get a pet scan instead?
Isn’t a pet’s can something like a litter box?
I recently applied for a job as a litter collector. They asked if I had any relevant experience, but I said I would just pick it up as I went along.
Literally.
What’s the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are two dollars, but deer nuts are under a buck.
Never thought about that, but you have me interested. Doe tell!