I like my women how I like my coffee...

[missdavis102]

Duh…

Creamy!

[Enright3]

My wife always got a kick out of:
I like my coffee like I like my women: Hot and At Work.

you see, I never drank coffee at home, just at work

[Gorsnak]

@kidchameleon

Phooey, I don’t like coffee, so…

I like my women like I like my cheese, American singles only, preferable fat free.

So, completely phony, you mean?

[kidchameleon]

@Gorsnak

So, completely phony, you mean?

Well, the kind of girls that would single up on me…

[Hung_Mung]

I like my women like I like my coffee…something in which to dip my biscotti.
Being a fan of Guinness and Amber Bock, I can substitute beer for coffee, i.e. I like my women like I like my beer…tall, thick, bitter and there has to be good head.

[msmith537]

I like my women like I like my coffee…

…hot and silent

[chaoticbear]

I like them both dead.

With whipped cream and sprinkles.

[guizot]

Shaken, not stirred.
Wha??!! Oh, sorry, wrong beverage.

“Bartender? Check, please.”

Who’s got the coffee?

[Little_Bird]

@Muad'Dib

Pllease explain “covered in bees”.

@Eddie Izzard

"And you don’t get the normal perks of a normal job, like people who work in an office; they have other people there, you can flirt, you know? You go, “Hey! Oh, you’re new here, aren’t you? How are you getting on? Do you want a coffee? I was gonna go get a coffee- I can get you a coffee… You know, I like my coffee like I like my women- in a plastic cup!”

Beekeepers can’t do that! 2,000 bees… (buzzing sounds)

“Hello, there, you in the street! You’re new, aren’t you?”

(scared) “Huh?”

“Do you want a cup of coffee? It’s no problem! (buzzing continues) No real problem…”

“I don’t want a cup of coffee from you! You’re covered in bees!”

“I like my women like I like my coffee… covered in bees! Now back off, back off!” (screams)

He’s probably the funniest person that ever lived. Probably.

[UrbanChic]

@chaoticdonkey

I like them both dead.

With whipped cream and sprinkles.

I don’t know why and I don’t particularly like the fact that I am, but I am highly amused by this.

[Jackknifed_Juggernaut]

…liquored up!

[Giraffe]

I like my women how I like my coffee…

…hot at first, gross the next day.

[Jet_Jaguar]

…hand-picked by a guy in Columbia.

[Nametag]

…with free refills.

(Courtesy of Spinster, whose trial has run out, and who has not ponied up (yet).

[UntouchedTakeaway]

@Jonathan Woodall

Once upon a time I was a cashier at Dunkin’ Donuts.
I asked an old white man, white his old white wife in tow, how he wanted his coffee.
“Strong and black, like I like my women.”
I freakin’ died, and his wife hit him good-naturedly.

For years my father found this the height of hilarity. My mother and I were not of the same opinion

VCNJ~

[Beware_of_Doug]

Coffee:
In their cups.
In the bag.
With a little room for cream.

Cheese:
Crusty and mature.
Flaky.
Strong-smelling.
Full of holes.

[JKellyMap]

Grown in Latin America, but imported to the U.S. still nice and fresh.

[Annie-Xmas]

Resurrected after six months.

[Beware_of_Doug]

Strong enough to stand a spoon up in.

[RTFirefly]

I like 'em both better once I’ve added cream to them.