I may be turning into a bachelor

A couple of weeks ago I bought 10 frozen pizzas. They were on sale. I realize in the bachelor world that’s insignificant, but this is a transition period, okay?

I was out mixing some things to spray on the lawn and it wasn’t mixing well, so I brought it in and threw it in the blender. I’m sure that would have been a death sentence with any female that I’ve had a relationship with. … I cleaned it really good afterwards though. … Really, I did. I mean I don’t want insecticide flavored margaritas.

Then today, I was sweeping the floor (I know, I know, but bear with me, okay, I’m not a true bachelor yet) and there were these fish food flakes on the kitchen table. So, I swept the kitchen table off with the broom.

How close am I to become a real full fledged bachelor??


Close. When you get to the point where you just give the Blender a thorough rinse and a stern talking to, you’ll be closer.

When you brush the fish flakes from the dust pan (be it from the kitchen table, floor, toilet bowl lid, etc.) into the fish tank, you’re there. Huzzah!

This is where I thought he was going with that train of thought! And quite frankly, I’d think of doing it meself.

-scout, female “bachelor” apparently!

Well, I’ve sorta done that. Not with the broom and dust pan though. Just with my hand, is that close enough?

i believe your error was using the dust pan. real single types either sweep the stuff down the basement stairs, or under a large, rarely moved piece of furniture.

Hmm that’s a decent level of bachelorhood, but I assume you discovered your error when you had to take the time to clean out the blender afterward. My method of choice is to put a whisk into my highest speed drill, which will mix anything mostly liquid in about half a second and can be cleaned by a quick wave under the faucet.

A true bachelor brings in the Shop Vac and vacuums everything, floor to ceiling. Use it without an attachment for general cleaning and picking up the big stuff. The floor attachment does all floors. The brush attachment is for the ceiling and dusting. The crevise tool gets all the crap out from under the couch cushions. One trip around the abode and your cleaning is done for a month.

Ah, but that’s why I didn’t consider the blender a good idea for mixing paint. I have tools for that job. … You see, in this case, the stuff wasn’t liquid in the first place. It was after going thru the blender though.

Make up your mind willya? :stuck_out_tongue:


There was something missing in that other idea.

I think you can consider yourself to have “made it” into bachelorhood when you wash the dishes (because a date or your mom is coming over), and a week’s worth of dirty dishes consists of eight glasses and a bowl.

There’s only one true test, do you drink milk straight from the carton?

One of my college buddies once drank lemonade out of a styrofoam bowl.

I don’t have room for milk because of all the beer. Is that close enough?

Hmm, how about just opening the milk carton all the way up, throwing in the cocoa puffs, and sort of slurping them out?

And dude, some herbicides require a special detergent to fully rinse them from containers, so you might wanna read the safety label on whatever you used before putting food in that blender. Just sayin.’

ROTFLMAO :smiley:

On cleaning: A true bachelor cleans for only 1 of 3 reasons: 1) A date, 2) Mom, 3) Cannot find where you put something a couple months ago.

Safety label?? now even I know that there isn’t a bachelor around that has ever read, or maybe it’s comprehended or maybe it’s just followed, a safety label.

The alcohol in the margaritas will take care of anything that didn’t get washed away. … See, except for this slight twitch and a little blurriness in my right eye, I haven’t noticed any thing different since that incidence.

[sub]fizgig, point taken, but don’t take me too seriously[/sub]

Yea, we don’t :smiley:

But we love you! :slight_smile:

Well, the fish food flakes are one test. Another is: are there any live fish in the tank?

Most of them.