Yes, folks, it’s true.
For the first time in…by my count…7 years I am living the bachelor’s life this weekend. Lady Chance, Baby Kate and my Mother-in-Law are all heading for some family thing in Iowa and I’m left behind.
Goodness, I’ve forgotten what I should do!
So help me?
Sit around playing XBox?
Invite floozies over?
Eat foods with a high fat content?
What?
You could sit nekkid in front of the computer, eating brownies right from the pan.
That’s what I’m planning for today.
You need potato chips, cheetos, pretzels, beer, pizza, ice cream…you get the picture? It’s pig out time. Also, serious web surfing and junk tv watching are an absolute must. Now, get outta here and get busy! You have some serious slouching to get done young man! 
PS: All this can be done in your underwear.
Yeah, I’d say lounging about in one’s underwear is kinda mandatory in this kind of situation. Enjoy!
I could have sworn there were floozies around last time this happened.
Have things changed that much?
Actually, real men leap at the opportunity to do a thorough, deep housecleaning! No, really! It wins them all kinds of husband points on top of the personal satisfaction of a job well done.
I’m not kidding.
Go dust something!!
The weather is supposed to be nice (for a change) this weekend. If you spend all day blobbing out inside you’ve wasted it.
During the day - go to Home Depot, etc. Get together with a friend you haven’t seen in awhile. Get in a round of golf if that’s your thing. Get out in the world.
Save your computer, movie watching, etc. for the night time.
Beer…it must involve beer.
besides, good floozies are hard to come by nowadays.
Ahem! Fairy even though your intentions are good, I do not believe this is what Jonathan has in mind. Tho I can not agree with the floozies…I think a nice weekend doing nothing, including not cleaning anything till a half hour before they get home, is a nice respite from an ordinary affair.
Why not invite “the guys”[sup]tm[/sup] over for a good solid night of spirits, go get some mead and turkey legs and open a one night brothel…Have a barn fire! play x-box till your hands are numb! (have you beaten Knights of the Old Republic yet?)
Is my jealously showing through…I’m really just angry I can’t go to Burning Man in Nevada this coming week…
Surely “Yo ho yo ho” would mean a pirate’s life.
Do you perhaps mean “Hi diddle-i-dee”?
I don’t know what you can do but I can stop by tomorrow moring and help you find out. I think it should involve beer at 9 am and some really loud Rush.
Drink juice from the carton.
I’m not sure (can’t remember) what it involves, but I’m fairly certain that there should be lots of left over pizza boxes*, empty beer bottles & cans, and the occasional half-nekkid body lying around on the ground when you’re finished. That’s the only way to know that there was a satisfactory result. Double points if the TV is tuned to white noise and the volume is cranked when you wake up.
*If there’s any crust left in the boxes, that can serve as breakfast, but be careful about rooting about for leftover beer: that’s what the smoker’s use for their ashtrays.
Please, I only live in CT. I’ll bring Vapor Trails and Heinekin! Cans.
Oh, yeah, sure. That’s what I always do when I’m home alone. :rolleyes:
I should correct something. Fairychatmom - I have done things similar to what you said. But the OP I do not think is thinking along the same lines.
I got lots of husband ability points.
You don’t make the bed, you don’t take a bath
be liberal with your wrath
eat over the sink, till everything stinks and then shout out YO HO!
YO HO YO HO a Bacherlor’s Life for thee
(ok I thought our responses would have to be to the tune of A Pirate’s Life for Me, but I could be wrong)
Anything that involves beer, TV sports, your buddies, and/or cards late into the night should be fine. Cigars are optional–they add a certain “bachelor-ness” to the occasion, even if they’re not lit.
Have a movie fest: all the Die Hards, Terminators, and any others that feature explosions, guns, good-looking women, and fast cars. You can intersperse these with Jackie Chan film for a little martial-arts comic relief.
Car repairs are always fun. Need a place to store greasy parts while you work on the car? Use the kitchen sink or the tub.
Nutrition comes from The Bachelor’s Four Food Groups: beer, pizza, chips (this group includes pretzels, by the way), and some kind of barbecued meat.
No, I’m gonna have to take FairyChatMom’s side on this one. A real man would go shopping for all the back to school stuff for the kid, get his wife some really nice jewellery to show how much he missed her, maybe take a cooking course so he can show off his culinary skills when she gets back. We’re trying to help you guys out here, honest. No, really.