Specifically, I would like to hear from men who have had vasectomies, and the women who love them. Sorry, there’s just no delicate way to put it. My darling husband is undergoing this procedure next week, and I’d like to hear your stories, bad or good. How long did you hurt? How long was your recovery time? How long should I expect my husband to act like he’s had open-heart surgery instead of an in-office procedure? And just how long before I can stop saying “Never mind that I gave birth to your son just a few short weeks ago…what can I do to ease your pain?”
Ah, oh I don’t have one of those. But we bought a house once & the mail for the people we bought it from came once from their vasectomy doctor, so we learned the guy got a vasectomy.
The husband of one of my co-workers’ had a vasectomy a year ago and I took a lot of mental notes because my husband and I have been discussing it for a long time now.
1.) Do it on a Friday afternoon after work so he has the entire weekend to recover.
2.) Make sure he spends the entire weekend sitting or laying down. He can only stand to go from the bed to the couch or to the bathroom. He may be tempted to do more because he may not be in pain, but if he overexerts himself that first weekend, he’ll be in major pain for weeks to come. Just tell him to park it and you’ll wait on him hand and foot just this once.
3.) Get bags of frozen peas. The bag and peas will be very form-fitting and can get into those hard to reach places to keep the swelling down.
As one person put it, if all goes well and you both follow this advice, he should be back to work by Monday and the bedsprings should be squeaking again by the next weekend 
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy
The sound you hear is Satan leaving this thread, never to return…
Yer pal,
Satan
My first reaction to this was to snort my Pepsi out of my nostrils. Then I thought about it, and realized that hey, I bet that really does work.
As for the bedsprings squeaking by the next weekend, well…the son we just had was, to put it nicely, a “surprise,” meaning that while I really am glad the boy is here, we hadn’t planned on any more kids. I am not letting my husband get near me with that thing until I have medical proof that his Howitzer is no longer firing live ammo.
Ahhh, first of all, go for the general anasthetic. I went with the local when I got mine and it was…ummm…nauseating to say the least. I had to go back about a year later because I got these things called granulomas that formed little hard deposits that were uncomfortable. On that round I took the general and didn’t know a thing. A piece of advice: Keep that little mesh testicle sling on for at least a couple days. Keep the jewels as close to home as possible to eliminate stress on the sutures. As far as sex goes, I had it the next day. VERY gently, but it was just as good as ever.
“The world is not five hours old and evil has already entered it” - Aslan
The Magician’s Nephew
I almost forgot: ICE, ICE, ICE!!!
Be careful, i hear you can’t have babies if you do that!
All this science, I don’t understand. It’s just my job 5 days a week-- Rocketman
I pretty much agree with Democritus. I had a local, and while it wasn’t exceptionally painful (except for the shot of anesthetic), it was kind of weird being aware of what the Dr. was doing. I could give you a blow by blow (so to speak) of exactly what happened, if you like, but it may be a little graphic for some of the more squeamish fellows out there.
Recovery: It only took me a couple of days to get back to feeling pretty normal. I wore a jock strap for about a week to provide additional support. Ice helped the first day, after that I didn’t need it. Sex gave me a pain in the testes for about two weeks. The whole thing was minimally traumatic.
Plunging like stones from a slingshot on Mars.
My father and four of his poker buddies had the procedure done (at the same time) shortly after my little brother was born. Male bonding doesn’t get any closer than that, huh?
Anyway, my mother had the biggest laugh of her life when she came home to find five men sitting around a card table, smoking cigars, drinking cognac and holding ice packs between their legs. Great visual.
My father said that the whole ordeal was more uncomfortable than painful and that the benefits of the procedure far outweigh the small amount of suffering he had to go through.
I say, you must be married to a real swell guy!
Gr8Kat, there can still be sperm coming thru that early! Don’t have sex that soon & expect to shoot blanks.
Make sure the doctor does another sperm test before assuming that. Shoot, thats the only way to know if the operation was a success…
The procedure is very simple, and from what I was told, vasectomies have about 1/10 the potential complications then that of the ladies equivalent procedure, (the exact name I forget and couldn’t spell anyway.)
I imagine it’s about 1/1000 the pain of labor, and about 1/millionth the pain of teenagers. So, nothing to fear whatsoever.
You will not sound like Mickey Mouse for a few days and you will not get fat and lazy and hang around the house more. (As much as you may want to.
All in all, a small price to pay for the benefits of future worry-free sex.
The “Frozen Peas” idea is a good one, works great for swelling from wisdom teeth removal too.
But this is one case where “kissing it better” may actually do more harm then good, so you might want to wait a week to ten before that sort of activity.
Belated congrats on the newborn Christi and hubby. 
It is better to deserve honors and not have them then to have them and not deserve them.
- Mark Twain
Melanie, I got a great visual on the cognac & ice packs story. Thanks!
And thakns everyone for the good advice. Especially about getting a test afterwards to make sure that there’s none of those little buggers left. I had forgotten about that. Yoinks. I can’t imagine what would have happened if I’d “done the do” before it was truly safe…
they used to have them with a little switch so if youwanted to have kids later you would just flip that & presto! spermies again.
pard the pun, but come to think of it, wouldn’t it be a nice idea to take some spermies for the future? You know, get them froz’n or somethin.
Well, today was V-Day. Tim (my husband) is recovering nicely. He’s not whining anywhere near as much as I expected. He wanted to have one of the nurses in the office bring him out in a wheelchair, but the nurses have heard that joke before. Anyway, we’ve got icepacks and a bag of frozen veggies as backup. He hasn’t even taken anything for pain. Maybe it won’t be so bad.
My husband had the “big V” three years ago. If you knew him your jaw would drop with a “get outa here” remark. Three years ago the doctor insisted I discontinue the Pill (blood pressure concerns). Since I was on the pill when we met birth control was never a concern. All of a sudden we had to use another form of birth control. Condoms just weren’t it (we both hated them).
Now if you knew my husband at all (just tell him your blood type and he’s out cold) you would be surprised to learn he volunteered to be the one. I had naturally assumed it would be me facing the knife and almost fainted at his announcement.
Anyway - long story short: Friday am procedure performed, Monday am back to work, and Monday pm discovered all the plumbing works just as it did before. He had the “scaple-less surgery” and it took all of 20 minutes right there in the office.
Times have changed and its quick and painless.
Wow, MLAW. Nice guy!
A humorous aside concerning Tim’s surgery: The name of the doctor who performed the surgery is Dr. Wang. I swear I am not making this up. I really had to bite my tounge to keep from laughing.
My husband had one done 5 years ago. It was a quick recovery, but since then he’s had testicular problems. Every so often, his testicles swell and cause him pain and he has to go on an antibiotic. Other than that, I can’t recommend the procedure enough. It is awesome to be able to have sex whenever we want without having to worry if I remembered to take the pill. And I always disliked condoms.
smug blurts out:
Well, thank you very much for eliminating that excuse. 
“Kings die, and leave their crowns to their sons. Shmuel HaKatan took all the treasures in the world, and went away.”