Tips on how to pamper my husband after his upcoming vasectomy, please

We’ve decided that we’ve procreated enough and it’s time to nip it in the bud, so to speak. He goes in December 2nd for the old snip-tuck (forgive me if I sound a bit cavalier, but one time I went to the hospital and they sliced me in half and pulled a human being out of me; I can’t get too excited about the itty-bitty nick they’re going to be making in hubby’s toy sack). So, snipped Dopers or SOs of same, advice? Forewarnings? Stories? Bad puns?

I suppose sitting on his lap and bouncing really hard is right out the door huh ?
Or an option to be saved in case he really, really pisses you off ?

I had a really really bad time with my vasectomy operation; incomplete local anaesthesia, extensive bruising, followed up by a serious infection and embedded stitches that were supposed to dissolve, but didn’t (so I had to dig them out myself).
I was off work for a week with the bruising and general recovery plus another three days the following week when the infection set in.

Having said all that, I’m still quite happy with the (eventual) end result though and I would still recommend the procedure to anyone who is otherwise absolutely sure they require it.

As far as (non-sexual)post-op pampering is concerned:

Don’t downplay any suffering he endures (or claims to endure*)
Don’t expect him to dig the garden and shin up a ladder to replace the guttering in those handy couple of days off work he may have.

Do get some ice packs in
Do keep him hydrated - plenty of long, chilled non-alcoholic drinks

*Men can be real wimps when it comes to enduring physical suffering, but if you want to make light of this fact, the best time to do it is much later, when he has fully recovered, as an amusing dinner-party anecdote, for example.

For right afterwards, ice packs, even if he insists that he doesn’t need them. And don’t let him move around too much until the doc says it’s OK. I’ve heard horror stories of guys trying to cowboy up too soon after the Big Snip, and they are always Very Sorry afterwards. So, just run back and forth with ice packs, drinks, and snacks/meals as he wants them for a few days, and that will be the best thing for him.

And whatever happens, he SHOULD NOT lift anything heavy until he’s healed.

I had no problems with mine, missed no work, so mileage must vary.

Never been snipped, not a doctor, but I’ve heard of some guys using bags of frozen peas or frozen blueberries instead of icebags.

I’m sure his doctor’s told you this, but I’m going to echo it due to my uncle’s experience: *don’t * have unprotected intercourse until the doc says it’s OK. My uncle was snipped after his son was born and he and his wife tested it out a couple weeks later. Their *second * son was born nine months later. :eek: Apparently, sperm can live longer than you think up in the seminal vesicles.

Mine went just fine. I had heard a couple of horror stories from guys who tried to get back on their feet too quickly, so I took the doctor’s advice and stayed off my feet for the entire weekend (the procedure was on a Friday) with an ice pack.

Ooh yes; nearly forgot that one; I’m not sure what the practice is in your neck of the woods, but here, they say you should produce two clear samples - the first one about four to six weeks after the op, the second one two weeks after the first- before you carry on as normal.

I had issues with incomplete anaesthesia as well, but after a weekend off my feet I was fine. I second the frozen peas; pick up a few bags and rotate them through the freezer as needed. And a nice bottle of single malt scotch is good, too.
Your husband’s doc will likely require a “sample” after a month to check for swimmers, so no unprotected nooky until that checks out!

Vasectomy survivor here, a little over ten years and counting. I had a short recovery time and few problems. I had the advantage of a somewhat funny vasectomy. My doctor’s name was Cacciatore (great - my doctor’s name is the same as a dish featuring chopped meat), and he himself had eleven children (physician, heal thy- well, you know).

A lot, as the woman said to her parrot, depends. I don’t know how old you and your husband are, how many children you have, whose idea this was to begin with, or how to end a phrase without a preposition. If he is like me, he’ll be mobile enough to get his own ice, but would be grateful if you make sure there’s plenty available. If you are like my wife, you will tell him exactly once every two days (and not more often - otherwise you sound as if you protest too much) that you are happy and grateful that he went through with it. If you are not like my wife, you will do him the favor of never speculating aloud about scenarios in which either or both of you might want more children. If you are fixated on the elevated amount of pain you have endured compared to his, think about the fact that where yours was inherent in having children, his is solely the result of choosing to spare you any more such pain. O.K., and the prospect of sex without the bother of birth control. So as soon as you’re sure (go ahead and have the tests to make sure the sperm count is nil) have a condom-disposal party, or whatever.

Above all, be nice. He’ll hurt, at least a little, and he’ll hurt in the cause of giving up the ability to father any more children. Ever (despite the rare reversal). This makes you the mother of all the children he’ll ever have. Under the current divorce laws, this is the same as giving you a knife and tilting his head back for the rest of his life. Symbolically, it is a renunciation of all the other women on the planet. That’s a hell of a compliment, whether he articulates it or not. Treat it as such

Do you mean you felt pain during the operation, or that you had pain management problems during recovery? (Mine was the former and it was very very unpleasant indeed).

I got it done on a Friday afternoon and was back at work Monday morning. No ice packs, no pain, no problems.

Mine was a lot like John Cater’s, but I needed ice for the first day. Make sure he takes it easy. WhyNot brings up a good point - ya gotta be patient before you can dispense with the birth control. The more sex you have after he’s healed, the faster his “plumbing” will clear, so have fun. :wink: And no, I haven’t turned into a weak wimp, as some anti-vas people have claimed. In fact, I’m in better physical shape now than I was then.

Vlad/Igor

Mine was painless and noneventful. I could have walked home, even. A bit sore the next day but didn’t interfere with any activities.

No, not those kinds of activities. I didn’t try that!

I’ve posted my horror story on here many, many times.

It was one of the worst experiences of my life. Damn, did I feel miserable.

Mine was no big deal. For a couple days, insist that he take it easy and ice it. Bring him beer and turn on the game. Any household task that requires heavy lifting should wait- otherwise if you have teenage sons it’s a great time to utilize them.

18 years since mine. I suppose I used ice, but I don’t remember any discomfort at all, but I have a pretty high pain threshhold. We also found that sex is better not having to worry about birth control, and we’ve never had any second thoughts.

He may not feel up to it for a while after the operation, but until he’s officially shooting blanks, I’d suggest an appropriate pampering would involve some blowjobs.

Mr. Ujest is a Vasectomy Survivor as well. This year, in fact.

Drove himself to and fro the operation. My entire job was to get the prescription for vicodin filled. He spent Friday sleeping and most of saturday in a state of laying around with frozen veggies on his privates.

On Sunday we had our son’s 6th birthday party. April of this year.

He, uh, rose to the occasion and went out to get the " you poor bastard" commisseration from the other snipped manly men.
The Doctor told him he had to have sex at least 25 times to clear out his supply.

“But, doc…can I get a prescription for that to show my wife?” :dubious:

By August, after two different testings ( required by the doctor’s office) he was told he had no more swimmers.