IANYD.
Wait.
IANAD at all.
n/m.
Just remember to dismiss any solutions that aren’t exactly what you want without so much as a “thanks for trying.”
Get a job for the Federal Government.
No, twickster - dismiss any solutions that aren’t exactly what you want with a “Thanks for playing!” and a rolley eye because emoticons with expressive eyes are friendly. And the green is particularly calming.
Move into you mom’s basement and let her deal with everything. Problem solved.
Yes. Do it with a glove. And claim it’s not yours.
You obviously need moral support. Go to the closest bar and pick up a chic/dude and move them in with you so they’re always there to help you. Don’t worry if they need to borrow money, they’ll pay it back.
ok, its after Mail Time, so here’s your clue: You Need to Guess Better.
I’m 100% serious. You need to guess like Harrison Ford in a room full of cups & be right the first time, every time. You need to guess with the prescience of a Deity. Now I have two methods to suggest; first is the Socratic Method. Please welcome Socrates!
[Socrates] Guess whats in my left hand behind my back. Wrong. [/Socrates] Face Slap
[Socrates]Guess again. Wrong! [/Socrates] Full wind up face punch
[Socrates] Whats the matter with you? Why aren’t your learning? Aristotle was a better guesser than you! Always with the whining. “I don’t know what it is!” “I can’t see because my eye is swelled shut!” “I’m bleeding all over my toga!” Do you think your face is doing wonders for my hand?
You’re Hopeless! [/Socrates]
For the second method is improving your guessing skills, I’m going to blindfold you and tell you to find which jar has your car keys. Is it this jar?
rattle
No, I’m sorry…those are carpet tacks and razor blades… try again? Because you really want them…
No, those were 50lb rat snap traps. Awww…don’t give up…don’t you want your car keys? I’ll give you a hint; there is absolutely nothing metal in the jar on the end to your right.
hisss strike
But hey pit vipers aren’t metal. That one was from the Central Park Zoo.
(was there with her kid on a Field Trip. Boy, does she look pissed…!)
Sorry that you’re dying in slow agony from poison, but hey… if you had Only Guessed Better…
…didn’t you read the OP Count Blucher? Socratic responses will not be tolerated.
Looks like I’m too late w/ my suggestion to cover yourself in bees. Shit, why am I always too late w/ that one??
You’re doing to wrong. It’s much easier to find a political subtext of an OP based on your own political bias. No need to bother with what the OP was actually thinking when they wrote it, we’ll just put thoughts in their heads.
This ought to cover it.
It’s definitely a start. It’ll delay the inevitable hopefully long enough for me to find a real answer to my problem.
Done.
Psh. You probably weren’t going to be giving me adequate solutions anyway.
But I love him or her and I know he or she does too, but sometimes he or she just gets so angry.
Now we’re gettin’ somewhere!
No that doesn’t cover it because as I specifically stated in my OP, the solution needs to be easy and quick. Your solution was so complicated I stopped reading a quarter of the way through.
I will remember to do that whenever someone smart enough comes along with the aforementioned quick and easy solution.
I SAID NO SARCASTIC RESPONSES!
Never confuse movement with action. (Hemingway)
Fine. You need a friend. You need someone independent and distanced enough from the issues & questions to be objective; someone who can give you honest common-sense advice from a second pair of eyes, sans emotion.
Someone you can and do Trust.
I didn’t write that for sarcasm; if you are reading it that way, that’s you not me.
Except for the underwear that’s not supposed to be there.
Start a religion based on doing Foolish Things. The second anyone else in the world does one single Foolish Thing, you are an exalted leader and an inspiration to your followers.
Just listen to your heart.
I’ve not been through this, but I can imagine what it was like, and of course that means I know more than you do.
I would be Covered_In_Bees!'s first follower. It sounds like my kind of religion.
The Church of Foolish Things.